


Undercover

by cruisedirector, LdyBastet



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Reality, M/M, Romance, Sex Magic, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-12-13
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 09:56:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyBastet/pseuds/LdyBastet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A werewolf and a Death Eater find each other in the world of the Half-Blood Prince.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Subterfuges

**Author's Note:**

> We didn't finish this story in 2005 when we started it. Maybe we'll finish it someday.

The wind picked up as Lupin moved closer to the hideout. It had been quite a while since Greyback had gone inside, giving him the order to stand guard. It seemed as if the vicious and self-proclaimed leader of the werewolves didn't trust the Death Eaters completely, or perhaps he simply wanted to test Lupin's loyalty and dependability. The sun had set a little while earlier and the shadows crept closer. He wasn't sure what to look out for, but now he could hear voices escaping through a crack in the window. There were Greyback's growling tones, a dry and demanding voice, and...a dark, smooth timbre that Lupin knew only too well. Snape's.

The front door opened suddenly and Greyback strode out, followed by two more figures. Even in the fading light, Lupin recognized Snape. He looked tired and worn. For a moment their gazes locked and they glared silently at each other. Greyback grinned dangerously at the two men, then nodded at Lupin to follow him. It wasn't until they had entered the trees surrounding the cottage that Lupin stopped feeling as if eyes were boring into his back.

Seeing Snape again had vividly brought back to Lupin's mind the accusations made by Harry Potter, the story that he had told them of how Dumbledore had died. Ever since the first time he had heard the details, there was something that felt off. He had been angry, though; furious, bitter and disappointed that Snape would do such a thing. But the niggling thought hadn't left him in the weeks that had passed, and Lupin knew that his mind wouldn't let go of it until he had had a chance to speak with Snape.

A few hours later, a gibbous moon lit Lupin's path, and this time he walked it alone. The air had gone still as darkness fell, and he could hear the rustling of small animals in the undergrowth. Life went on as usual in their world: the hunters killed their prey, the weak fell behind and ended up as dinner, the strong survived and ruled...

Lupin reached the edge of the forest and stopped, letting the shadows hide him from view. He studied the little house for long moments. Inside was the person he needed to talk to, but how to make contact with him? And would he want to talk to Lupin?

He waited, for what felt like an eternity, before his chance arrived. The door opened and a lean figure stole out, then closed the door quietly. It stepped away from the house, a few slow steps that seemed to lead nowhere in particular apart from putting some distance between the man and the dark building. It was now or never, thought Lupin and sneaked closer. He deliberately trod on a branch, and the sharp crack made the shadowy figure freeze.

From the angle at which Snape's elbow was bent, Lupin guessed that he had his wand in his hand. Not wanting to risk a spell cast in his direction that might reveal his presence not only to Snape but to every other creature in the quiet wood, he seized the opportunity, this moment when he had the man's attention, and pointed his wand to a place just in front of where Snape was standing. He concentrated and waved his wand, and delicate plants grew where there previously had been naught but grass. Within seconds, the plants had matured and were in full bloom. Monkshood.

Snape's eyes moved from the Wolfsbane ingredient toward the darkness where Lupin stood, staring with the same intensity that had followed Lupin from the house earlier as he walked away. "Show yourself," he commanded in hushed voice. Slowly, Lupin put away his wand and moved from the shelter of the trees, hands open at his sides to indicate that he carried no weapon.

"Why have you returned?" Snape hissed at the approach, posture changing subtly as beneath his robes his arm shifted in preparation to draw his own wand. "Does Greyback have an additional message for me? Are you his messenger now?"

"I came on my own," Lupin whispered. "I have an important matter to discuss with you, in private."

Snape's face darkened. "If you expect me to protect you from that creature, or to help you supplant him..."

"It's nothing to do with him. Severus, would it not be safer to invite me inside than scowling at me in the open?"

"It would be safer to use Legilimency, take your secrets and Obliviate you." But after a quick glance in every direction, Snape turned toward the small house. "I have not recast the locking spells," he breathed over his shoulder before walking back toward the dark building, plucking at the monkshood on his way as if obtaining ingredients had been his purpose in leaving the house so late.

Lupin waited a few minutes to see whether anyone or anything else was lurking in the shadows of the trees, then crept silently across the path to the door. He half-expected Snape to have lied and used every charm at his disposal to bar Lupin's way, but the handle of the door twisted easily for him, admitting him into a murky parlor. It was not until the door had clicked shut behind him that he heard a whispered "Lumos" that illuminated his way toward the unlit fireplace. Snape was standing still as a statue, as if Petrified beside the hearth.

"You are an even greater fool than I had suspected," he growled at Lupin in a low voice. "What could have induced you to return?"

Inhaling the musty air of the cottage, whose windows were covered by heavy curtains, Lupin again forced his hand to unclench from his wand. He turned his palms up toward Severus, hoping to indicate his accommodating intentions. "I have been a fool," he agreed. "I made a mistake once. With Sirius. I was told that he was a murderer; all the evidence seemed to prove it and I didn't question it. He was my best friend, yet I believed that of him. And an innocent man went to jail, and a guilty man escaped to bring his master back to power." Seeing that he had Snape's attention, he took another a deep breath. "I will not risk making the same mistake again, Severus."

"Have you come here merely to ask me whether what Potter has told everyone is true?" Lupin nodded, wishing that he could see Snape's expression more clearly in the dim room. "For once, it is. I used the Killing Curse. An Unforgivable Curse, Lupin." Despite the darkness, a bright, bitter gleam flickered in the depths of Snape's eyes, and Lupin found himself wondering whether anyone was likely to find that curse as unforgivable as Snape himself. "So there has been no mistake. There is no other guilty party. I killed the headmaster."

It was a shock to hear Snape call Dumbledore by that title, the only name he spoke with respect greater than he reserved for "the Dark Lord." And there was no doubting the agony on Snape's face, akin to the madness in Sirius' eyes on all the posters that had proclaimed his escape from Azkaban. Though it was difficult for Lupin to regard such pain, the familiarity gave him a faint, wild hope.

"That _isn't_ what I was asking," he insisted. "I know you spoke the curse. But Harry said you murdered Dumbledore -- that you joined forces with the Death Eaters the night of the attack. He said that Draco had him cornered, and other Death Eaters came onto the scene, and that Dumbledore was pleading with you when you killed him." Lupin stopped to gather his thoughts, waiting to see whether Snape would contradict him. "It's the word _pleading_ that gives me pause. I can't imagine Albus Dumbledore pleading for his life. Not from any of the Death Eaters. Certainly not from you."

"It's amazing, isn't it, what any man will do when he believes that he is about to be killed," scoffed Snape, not meeting his eyes. "I'm told that James Potter..."

"Shut up, Severus," barked Lupin. He would not let Snape distract him as Snape had distracted Harry by ridiculing his father. "Albus Dumbledore was not 'any man.' I do not believe that he was begging you to spare him. What was he asking you to do?"

Snape's expression was inscrutable once more. "You seem to have your own theories, Lupin. Why don't you tell me?"

"I think..." Hesitating, Lupin stepped closer to Snape, who did not shirk away but stood his ground with his chin tilted defiantly. If his supposition was right, it was of the utmost importance that no one overhear -- no one who could report to Voldemort, as Snape had, years earlier, when according to Harry he had revealed the information that had sent the hateful wizard after James and Lily Potter. "I think," he continued, "that Dumbledore was asking you to kill him."

Snape let out a revolted cough so quickly and so loudly that Lupin knew he had anticipated the response. "You don't believe that Dumbledore would have begged for his life, but you believe that he would have pleaded to be killed? Quickly? Cleanly? By someone he knew? Then you do believe that in the end, he was a coward like any other..."

"I believe that he would have pleaded to be killed by you rather than Draco Malfoy," Lupin cut in quietly. "Before Draco could follow his father into murder -- or before a Death Eater could report Draco's failure and cost him his life. I believe that Dumbledore would have chosen to be killed by someone who had already confessed to having blood on his hands. Harry said that Dumbledore pleaded with _you_, not with the others. I'm quite certain that he would not have begged you to save him in front of so many Death Eaters, knowing that your life would be forfeit if you obeyed. But he would have asked you to kill him, knowing that in doing so, you would spare Draco and secure your place as Voldemort's most trusted servant just when Harry needs someone in that role who is sworn to protect him."

The loathing in Snape's stare was too direct to be feigned even by an Occlumens of his skill. "What in Merlin's name makes you think I would ever have sworn to protect Harry Potter?"

"Two reasons," said Lupin calmly. "One is that Dumbledore trusted you completely. He would not hear a word spoken against you even by those who had legitimate reasons to distrust you. He was no fool -- a display of remorse alone would not have convinced him that you had switched sides from the Death Eaters. You must have said something in his presence with the weight of a vow." Stony silence greeted his supposition, and Lupin thought that he must have been close to the truth.

"But the other reason, which is more important, is that Dumbledore would not have asked you to take up your position as a spy again if he believed you did it solely out of hatred or anger. The only thing Dumbledore believed to be powerful enough to withstand the Dark Lord is love. And while I know you can barely stand to be in the presence of James's son, once I thought about what Harry had told us -- that Dumbledore had trusted you because you were sorry you got the Potters killed -- I recalled that the only person at school I ever actually thought you liked was Lily Evans. Harry thinks you hated her -- you called her a Mudblood? -- but the two of you were the best Potions students in our year and I know you spent time together. To have learned that you were responsible for her death...I can't imagine what that must have been like, but I do think you would have promised to defend her son no matter who his father was."

"You presume far too much, Lupin," Snape hissed. "I scarcely knew Evans -- like her husband and son, she had a habit of trying to make other people's business her own." Lupin only shrugged at this; he had not expected Snape to acknowledge any feeling for Lily and was very slightly relieved, for reasons he did not wish to examine, that Snape did not seem to be hiding an unrequited passion for her. "And for the sake of argument, even if what you suppose were in fact true, surely you realize the risk you take by speaking it aloud? What if we were overheard?" The voice filled with the same repugnance with which Snape had always addressed Sirius. "Do you imagine that Albus Dumbledore would have given up his life only to have me trust his secrets to the likes of you?"

"I think he must have realized you might need to trust someone," replied Lupin with another small shrug. "Even if you can't speak of it...with Dumbledore dead by your hand, I imagine that you've become Voldemort's most trusted servant, and you must be privy to many of _his_ plans. I didn't come here to ask you to speak of anything of that nature," he added hastily, holding up a hand to forestall Snape when it appeared that he would silence him. "If Voldemort wants to bring down bridges and blow up buildings, I know you can't interfere. But you look terrible, as if you haven't eaten or slept properly in weeks. Whatever potions you've been taking to keep up your strength won't hold you forever. You can't live only on hatred and ambition, sitting at his side, waiting for an opportunity that might take years to arrive -- it will destroy you -- Dumbledore would have known that."

"Hatred and ambition are the strongest possible traits -- you wouldn't understand, Lupin, having been a Gryffindor rather than a Slytherin." The words were said as if by rote; Snape appeared uneasy for the first time, surreptitiously glancing down at himself as if trying to ascertain whether he had, in fact, lost weight. "If you are truly concerned for my health, you must realize that my hatred and ambition have kept me alive. Though if you are hoping for special treatment when the Dark Lord vanquishes Potter, you would do better to focus your attentions on Greyback..."

"Enough pretenses, Severus. Just listen to me. If you die, or lose your mind -- or if you begin to believe in the things Voldemort does, even a little -- everything for which Dumbledore gave his life will be lost. I will do anything that is necessary to stop that." Lupin knew he didn't dare imply that Snape might be weakening, nor that he might lose resolve, but he also believed now that he knew the stakes. "I know I can't possibly offer to share your burden or even understand how it is for you, but if you ever need anyone...if you want someone, in any capacity, you can find me..."

Suddenly he realized how his promise must have sounded, and felt his cheeks reddening. Though Snape likely couldn't see that in the dim room, the implication was so shamefully clear that he jumped at the opportunity. "What exactly is it that you're offering, Lupin?" he inquired in a sarcastic drawl. "Developed a taste for Death Eaters after spending time with Fenrir?" Lupin bit down on the inside of his lip, knowing that Snape could not know the circumstances under which he had first encountered Greyback as a child. "Or are you mad enough to believe that I might have some...interest, in you, after all this time?"

"Let's not play games. You always had interest -- you followed me to the Shrieking Shack on the instructions of your most hated enemy, didn't you?" Beside him Snape tensed uncomfortably, and Remus pushed aside a small thrill he hadn't expected to feel at his sudden understanding of Snape's onetime curiosity and the fierce loathing that had followed. "After spending time with Fenrir, I doubt there's anything you could want of me that I would find disgusting. I wouldn't refuse you."

He could feel the effect his words had on Snape, for the other man stepped back, tugging his robes more tightly around himself and pacing a few steps before the hearth. Several moments passed before he spoke. "You aren't impressed by Greyback, then?" asked Snape in a voice that suggested that on this, at least, they might be in perfect accord. "It's his goal to spread lycanthropy over the world...you don't believe that would be an asset to your kind?"

"Greyback is not 'my kind,'" Lupin snapped. "He preys on children -- you know what he is. Even if you and I were not on the same side, I think that stopping him, and preventing Voldemort from allowing him any more independent power, must be a goal we share."

"Do not presume that you and I are on the same side of anything," Snape retorted sharply. "Fear of Greyback has made many parents more protective of their children than fear of the Death Eaters alone. The Dark Lord is his master." It was not worth Lupin's troubling himself to argue; Greyback supported Voldemort precisely because he believed he would have no master in a world controlled by Death Eaters, but would be free to live and feed as he wished. "And he doesn't trust you. Even if he has not learned that you remained loyal to Dumbledore after you left Hogwarts, he knows that you disagree with his methods and have tried to turn other werewolves against him."

"Then surely he also suspects how you feel about werewolves," said Lupin. "No matter. I didn't come here to hammer out a secret alliance with you. I know that's not possible. But I needed to ask questions this time of the sort I never asked when Sirius went to Azkaban. And I wanted to let you know that I'm here. With the werewolves, far away from the people to whom you don't dare speak. If you ever seek me out, I will ask no questions..."

"What about Nymphadora Tonks? I heard you were in love," Snape interrupted with a sneer.

The wise thing to do would have been to agree with him, thought Lupin, trying not to flinch at the sound of her name. Instead he sighed, oddly relieved to have someone to whom he might unburden himself without fear of hurting her -- there was no one to whom he had dared explain himself within the Order, not after McGonagall had given them her blessing in the infirmary the night Dumbledore died.

"She had a terrible year after Sirius died, you know. She blamed herself." Snape looked as though he might suggest that perhaps she had reason, but whatever he saw on Lupin's face made him drop his eyes. "I didn't blame her at all, of course, and spent a lot of time convincing her that there was nothing she could have done. She wanted to believe me...and then she fancied herself in love with me. I think she misunderstood what she was feeling."

"Her Patronus changed shape," Snape reminded him. "I saw it when she sent a message to Hogwarts."

"_She_ changed. She had always been bright, and talkative, and mischievous -- sometimes argumentative -- she loved to fly, she had a sense of humor about her clumsiness. She's happier now than she was a few months ago, but she's still not the same. I think she sees me as someone else who's sometimes a stranger to the body he wears -- she thinks I understand her, and perhaps I do. But I think she's making a mistake believing that what she needs will come from outside. She'll find the right person when she's rediscovered herself, not the other way around."

"That sounds like a convenient excuse," came the reply, though with less venom than Lupin might have expected from Snape. "You don't believe in the transformative power of love? As -- as Dumbledore did?"

The slight hesitation did not escape Lupin's attention. "I do believe in it," he said fervently. "That's how I know I'm not the right person for Tonks, nor could ever have been...do _you_ believe in it, Severus?"

Abruptly Snape tilted his head toward the window, listening in the direction of the deep woods. "It is time that you departed," he said brusquely. "You've stayed too long already." With an inclination of his head, Lupin started toward the door, knowing that he had pressed as far as he dared. But when he reached the edge of the circle of light, Snape said, "Wait."

"What is it?"

He received no answer, but he could hear Snape shuffling around in the dark corner beyond the hearth. A moment later the footsteps shifted toward Lupin and he felt a small bottle being pressed into his palm.

"I doubt Greyback has ever benefited from Wolfsbane potion of this quality," he said in a hard voice that sounded to Lupin partly prideful and partly ashamed. "There is no need for you to suffer at the full moon. Now you have an explanation if anyone discovers your presence here."

The tips of Severus' fingers brushed across his own as Lupin closed his hand around the bottle. His throat felt tight, and he had to swallow before he could speak: "Thank you." Perhaps Snape merely wanted to make certain that there was not another bloodthirsty werewolf prowling the forest so close to his hideout, but Lupin did not think that or the need for a story to explain his visit were the only reasons for the gift.

"Now go. Do not return unless you are ordered to do so. If I require your company, I will find you."

"I understand." There was more that he suddenly wished to convey, but those were the only words he dared speak as Snape caught his arm and escorted him through the darkness to the doorway. It was brighter outside beneath the swollen moon, and Lupin caught a final glimpse of black eyes watching him before the door swung shut.

Smiling, he raised his wand and made the garden wolfsbane disappear.


	2. Stratagems

_I know I can't possibly offer to share your burden or even understand how it is for you, but if you ever need anyone...if you want someone, in any capacity, you can find me..._

Lupin turned over and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Sleep was eluding him...again. It was not the first night of unsettling thoughts he had experienced since the upheaval of recent events, not even regarding this particular issue.

Why had he made that offer to Snape, and why had he worded it like that? He had not meant it the way that it had sounded. As soon as he had spoken the words, he had known how they could be interpreted; Snape hadn't had to say anything. But of course he had. Snape never missed an opportunity for a snide remark, and Lupin's heating cheeks had not escaped him.

The offer had been involuntarily ambiguous, that was it. Wasn't it? Doubt gnawed silently in the back of his mind. If it had been an accident, then where had that feeling of relief come from when it had seemed as if Snape had not had any romantic feelings towards Lily... It was so long ago! Why did it matter? Lupin groaned as he turned again.

He finally fell into a fretful sleep haunted by images that now roamed freely in his mind with no one there to stop or divert them. And in the morning, as Lupin tried to settle his frustrated flesh, he allowed himself to fall into temptation and let wicked thoughts of naked bodies and rough caresses lead him to climax.

A few days later, Greyback called for Lupin; he wanted a word with him. The burly leader of the pack was reclining on a dirty and shabby sofa, holding court and finishing his meal as he saw Lupin come in. It was a travesty of a court, with Greyback enjoying the attentions of his followers. One of them, a long-legged female werewolf with dark, tangled hair, was even grooming him while he sucked the flesh off the bone he was holding.

"Enough!" he growled at the female and she skulked off into the shadows of the room. Greyback then turned to his progeny and smiled dangerously at him, revealing his pointed teeth. "Lupin, you are going to take care of something for me."

Lupin suppressed a shudder as Greyback threw the bone away and it clattered to the floor. He had avoided looking at it, and he refused to speculate where it had come from or even what manner of creature it had belonged to. The room was dark, even with the pale sunlight that entered through the rips in the drawn curtains. There was no beauty in those golden stripes of light; they only underlined the bizarre horror of the company and illumined things better left unseen.

"You're going to go to your old chum, Snape." Greyback grinned as he said it and there was a snickering from some of the werewolves. "And get me some of that Wolfsbane that he makes."

"He's not my friend," Lupin objected, putting on a look of distaste.

"No, that's right. He fucked up the nicest job you've ever had, didn't he? All those little lambs running around, and you had access to them all..." Greyback's eyes caught a lustful gleam at the thought, and Lupin had to steel himself to not show the revulsion he felt at the thought of Greyback in the castle...as he had been the fateful night of Dumbledore's death.

"Never mind that." Greyback grinned at him again and stretched lazily. "You're going to have the honor of doing this for me anyway. It's a very important mission, Lupin." The tone of his voice implied a threat, as did the narrowed eyes. Lupin knew that he did not want to fail Greyback. "The Dark Lord has need of my services, and I need to keep a clear head while transformed for that. We wouldn't want the wrong person to be bitten now, would we, Lupin?" The werewolf laughed loudly, a barking sound that the others picked up as well.

Greyback told Lupin where he could find Snape, ignoring his protests, and dismissed him by pulling one of the young females – probably no more than thirteen – to him for some entertainment. He pawed greedily at her pale body, and Lupin could hear the obscene sounds of pleasure from Greyback and the whimpers of what was really no more than a girl as he left the building, and he wished that he wouldn't have to return to it again.

Lupin had little trouble finding the place, though he had half-suspected that he was being sent into a trap, for it was hard to imagine Severus Snape living among Muggle rubbish in this dirty, neglected town. Yet he thought that the house looked much like Snape: dark, gloomy, and lonely among its boarded up neighbors. _Spinner's End_, he thought, pulling his cloak more tightly around his shoulders to ward off the chill. _Well, we truly are caught in a web, aren't we, Severus?_

He walked up to the door and knocked. The house was run-down and in need of some repair, Lupin saw as he waited, and even though it was situated on the edge of a Muggle village, there was something about it that told Lupin it was no stranger to magic. Nothing tangible, not anything so complicated as a spell to make it Unplottable, just an impression in the air -- something that he recognized as inherently magical, since he'd spent time away from the Wizarding world at intervals and knew what the absence of magic felt like.

When nothing seemed to move inside the house, he knocked again, a little harder. This time, his knocks gave result as the door slowly creaked open a bit. Snape's eye widened fractionally as he peered through the crack.

"I'm here on an errand from Greyback," Lupin said quickly, before Severus could decide to shut the door in his face. "He told me where to find you."

The black-haired wizard wore an extremely sour expression as he opened the door, gesturing Lupin over the threshold. "Greyback should not be sharing information about my whereabouts with one whom he knows opposes his methods," he sneered. "Wait here for a moment."

Aiming his wand at the wall of books behind him, Snape shouted, "Hide yourself, if you know what's good for you." A moment later a hidden door burst open and Snape's robes billowed behind him as he marched up the staircase it revealed. "I want you to turn yourself into a rat and leave this house at once," Lupin heard him command. "Get out and stay out for at least an hour -- go eat the rubbish down by the river."

Snape had Pettigrew in the house, Lupin realized. A wave of fury threatened to choke him; his fingers were clenched around his wand, withdrawing it, as he heard Snape continue smoothly, "You don't know how tempted I am to let your old friend end his personal vendetta. I'm sure the Dark Lord would understand my failure to protect you from someone with so many reasons to wish you dead." Lupin was already at the bottom of the stairs when he heard a squeak, then a scurrying sound that seemed to move into the walls and pass outside the house. A moment later Snape reappeared at the top of the staircase.

"Where is he?" demanded Lupin.

"I've sent him away." Snape gave him a haughty glare as he descended with a faint hint of a smile. "I couldn't very well allow you to kill one of the Dark Lord's servants in my own house. Although I did enjoy letting him know how attractive I found the prospect..."

"This isn't a matter for joking! You know what he did!"

The suggestion of cruel amusement vanished from Snape's face. "I know precisely what he did," he snapped. "That is why the Dark Lord values him, which is why I have been entrusted with his safety. Would you sacrifice me to your lust for vengeance the way you very nearly sacrificed Potter and his friends that night when you discovered that Pettigrew was alive, forgetting to take your potion?"

Lupin still had his wand out, pointed up the staircase. His hand was shaking, and he could only hope that Snape believed it to be entirely in anger; in truth he was waging a battle for control over his bitterness and shame.

"He's the reason that Lily is dead," he said in a voice that sounded steadier than he felt. "No matter what you might claim, I think that matters to you, or you wouldn't have switched sides when you did." Snape said nothing, which Lupin took as a small victory. He changed the subject: "Speaking of Wolfsbane potion, that is why I was sent here. Greyback needs it."

"I thought Fenrir prided himself on his animal nature. Why would he wish to remain rational and quiescent during the transformation? Have you offered him some...enticement, Lupin?"

Again Lupin fought to keep his fury from becoming obvious in his expression. "Greyback claims to be on a mission for your master," he spat. "He said he needed to keep his mind clear. You wouldn't want him to bite the wrong person, would you?"

Hearing the echoes of Greyback's words in his own, he could not keep from flinching, but this time Snape's expression echoed his disgust. "He claims to want the Wolfsbane in service to the Death Eaters?"

"That's right."

"Then why did he send _you_? It is not safe for you here."

"I don't know, Severus," sighed Lupin impatiently. "I didn't ask him, though I think I made it obvious that it wasn't an opportunity I relished. I suppose it's a test of loyalty -- he knows that you despise me and he expects the feeling to be mutual."

"I am not Greyback's personal apothecary..." Snape began to object.

"It isn't a test for you, it's a test for me." Just as tired and chilled as he had been walking toward the house from the river, Lupin tugged his cardigan more tightly around himself and wandered over to the fire. A chair pulled back from the table as he approached. He recognized that Snape must have meant it as an invitation to sit, but he did not. "McGonagall asked me whether I had seen you."

Snape stiffened. "What did you tell her?"

"That I'd seen you while I was with Greyback. And that you'd given me Wolfsbane. What else could I tell her?" He wondered for a moment whether Minerva might have known more than she was letting on; if Dumbledore had fully trusted any other member of the Order, it would have been his successor at Hogwarts. But she had seemed devastated by Severus' defection, becoming more emotional than he had ever witnessed, and he did not believe that her distress had all been an act for the children.

"It isn't safe for you to come here," Snape reiterated. "I've neutralized Wormtail for the moment but the Dark Lord treats him as something of a pet; it was Pettigrew who enabled him to return."

Forcing the bile from his throat, Lupin nodded, shrugging slightly. "Greyback did send me, Severus. I didn't make it up as an excuse to check up on you, if that's what you suspect." Snape narrowed his eyes, turning from him, and for a moment Lupin wondered whether he was disappointed. "Nor did I come so I could sabotage the potion, if that's what you're thinking. I don't dare interfere -- if the potion doesn't work perfectly, the pack will turn on me."

"It's no secret that I am not a supporter of Greyback. Perhaps he would suspect me instead," retorted Snape, but his eyes remained narrowed, thinking something through. "Greyback must be twenty years older than you are. He was an adult when you were a child. Why is he not aging as quickly as you are?"

"How kind of you to notice," Lupin said bitterly, unsure whether Snape had meant the query as a barb or in earnest. It was a question Lupin had often asked himself, though he did not like any of the possible conclusions. "Perhaps his metabolism is better suited to the transformation. The pain doesn't seem to incapacitate him. And, perhaps, because he is less human and more wolfish the rest of the month -- I'm sure you heard what he did to Bill Weasley..."

"I think," continued Snape, answering his own question, "that killing, and ingesting blood, must be rejuvenating for lycanthropes. That isn't something that you would advertise, is it? Is that why the condition is so much more debilitating for you than it is for him?"

To say yes would be to betray others like himself, to acknowledge the truth with which they all struggled. Snape was staring at him now; Lupin turned before the room could begin to shimmer, before he could give anything away. "Perhaps by preying on children Greyback hopes to find eternal youth," he said, his tone more harsh than he would have wished. _He was an adult when you were a child._ Had Snape guessed, too, the origin of Lupin's condition?

"Sit down," Snape barked crossly, waving his wand and sending a cup and saucer clattering toward Lupin from across the room. A pot followed it a moment later, pouring steaming, fragrant tea into the cup. "I will need a few minutes to bottle the Wolfsbane -- you realize that it must be transported with the utmost care and will lose its effectiveness if you allow direct sunlight to shine upon it?"

While the potions master bustled around in a hidden compartment in the bookcase, withdrawing bottles and a stoppered beakerful of dark liquid, Lupin drew in a deep breath of the sweet-smelling vapors rising from his cup and took a sip. He recognized black musli, almond extract, ginseng, sweet apple...almost immediately he felt more alert, refreshed, at ease, though whether that was from the tea itself or from Snape's rare display of concern for his well-being, he could not have said.

"How is McGonagall?" asked Snape, and then with a slightly different inflection: "And how is Nymphadora Tonks?"

"I haven't seen Tonks," Lupin replied too quickly. "She's still stationed in Hogsmeade. Even though..." He had started to say, _Even though Harry Potter is not at Hogwarts_ before realizing that Snape probably had even less desire to know of Harry's whereabouts than he had to answer questions about them. Instead he said, "There seems to be some concern about possible Death Eater activities -- there are other children than Malfoy who may have been compromised -- and people worrying that Greyback might come after Hogwarts students in Hogsmeade. Not an unreasonable assumption, and it weighs on McGonagall. I think she often asks herself what Dumbledore would have done, if he would even have let the school reopen..."

"Dumbledore is not here. I am sure she is capable of making those decisions on her own," interrupted Snape savagely. There was a cracking noise, and he cursed as one of the little bottles shattered. For a moment he simply stood there, seemingly unaware of the blood that trickled from his hand where one of the shards of glass had cut into him.

Quickly Lupin stood, summoned a dustpan to sweep up the slivers and crossed to Snape, reaching for his hand. "You can’t keep blaming yourself," he said quietly.

"There is no question of blame," Snape snarled, jerking away as if Lupin had threatened him. "I have done what has been necessary." Guilt and bitterness were written all over his features; it did not surprise Lupin when he turned them on him. "What are you trying to prove, werewolf?"

"I'm not trying to prove anything, Severus," said Lupin patiently, reaching again for his hand. "I'm only trying to remind you that we are both in places we would rather not be."

"Really? You don't think I enjoy being the Dark Lord's most trusted servant? You think I fail to appreciate having your old friend Wormtail at my beck and call, and even Greyback requiring my favors?" Refusing to rise to the bait, Lupin pulled the injured palm closer, dislodging the glass with a muttered charm and glancing around for a potion to heal the cut. "And you -- what do you want? More Wolfsbane for yourself? A sleeping draught to dull your pain? Something to make you a more -- entertaining -- companion for Tonks?"

"Is that what you think I want?" snapped Lupin, using a nonverbal _accio_ spell to summon the disinfectant he expected to sting the most. Almost immediately he regretted the question, for Snape gazed deep into his eyes again, and this time Lupin was not fast enough. The room shimmered around him, and the wishes he had been trying to bury since he first revealed them to Severus came surging to the front of his thoughts.

This time there was no taunting, no wicked amusement. "What are you trying to do, Lupin?" Snape hissed. "Are you finding life among the werewolves so intolerable that you would risk everything for a few minutes of distraction, or are you merely playing a game, after all?"

Lupin waited until after he had poured the ointment onto Snape's hand, hearing the other wizard's breath catch at the ache, before he answered. "I'm not playing games. I'm telling truths. You're the one who wanted to know badly enough to violate my thoughts with Legilimency. What's the matter, Severus? Losing focus? Having trouble concentrating?"

"Hardly." Straightening his back, Snape made one more attempt to withdraw his fingers from Lupin's. "You forget that I am the Dark Lord's most trusted associate, and he rewards his servants. Any of the Death Eaters would consider it a privilege, and I could have any Muggle..."

"No you couldn't. You don't dare let your guard down. I always thought you must be lonely at Hogwarts, but that was nothing to what it might be like for you now..."

"I am not yet so desperate for companionship that I would subjugate myself to a werewolf!"

_Who said anything about subjugating yourself?_ thought Lupin viciously. _Like it that way, do you?_ He watched Snape's eyes narrow, beady and entirely black, and thought that if Snape had heard that thought, he had deserved it. "If you prefer to be alone with your memories," he said in as calm a voice as he could muster, releasing Severus' hand at last, "I will tell Greyback that you insist upon dealing with him directly. I'll make it sound as though I'm envious; nothing would make him less likely to send me to you than believing that I don't despise you."

"I'm not even certain I believe that you came here on Greyback's orders," sneered Snape. "And even if you did, Greyback is only an instrument of the Dark Lord. He wields no real power."

"Even so, we can't afford not to do what he wants. And whether you believe I came here under Greyback's orders or if I just wanted to check up on you, you did let me in, didn't you, Severus?"

A scrabbling noise at the far wall made them both turn their heads sharply. Seizing his wand in his uninjured hand, Snape fired a bolt of red light in the direction of the sound; there was a shrill squeak and a small mouse fled into a space in the bookshelves. "Wormtail will be back any minute," Snape announced. "We cannot have this conversation here. Now, please allow me to finish bottling this potion before it is ruined."

Withdrawing reluctantly, Lupin moved back to the table and his now-cool tea. The scent and sharp taste remained invigorating, however, and he drank it slowly while Snape worked, watching him.

"Where can we have this conversation?"

"Excuse me?" asked Snape irritably.

"You said we can't have this conversation here. Where can we speak freely?"

Snape's fingers closed tightly around the bottle he was holding, whitening at the knuckles, and Lupin feared that he might face another mess of shards and jagged glass. Then he feared that Snape would merely refuse to answer the question, or to tell him that he had no intention of continuing. "You know of the house in the woods," he said finally.

"I do." Lupin felt his breathing speed up. He had not considered it likely that Snape might take him up on any offers, and now...

"You and I have a mutual problem. Greyback. Even if you could tell me precisely why he needs the potion, or whom he plans to target, neither of us could interfere at present. Yet there must be a weakness -- something to convince the Dark Lord that he is a danger to his own interests."

"You want me to spy on Greyback for _you_?" Lupin could not keep the surprise from his voice. He had not expected this from Severus.

"I believe we have already agreed that we each have reasons to wish him...neutralized. You will never be safe while his pack is terrorizing children and their families, giving the Ministry reason to pass further edicts restricting the rights of werewolves. And in my case...he may interfere with other plans."

"Do you know what role the Dark Lord intends for him when the struggle escalates?"

"Do you think I would tell you?" Snape frowned slightly, but Lupin wondered whether his displeasure was with the question or with the fact that he did not, in truth, know Voldemort's intentions. "You must know that I would not ask anything of you if I did not believe it to be of the utmost importance."

Lupin was not as confident in this as Snape assumed; he believed that his childhood adversary might make demands simply to manipulate him, or, if he perceived a threat, to get him out of the way. Yet the taunting had become muted, and Lupin thought Snape sounded pensive instead of dismissive. "All right," he agreed. "I'll see what I can learn. You do realize that anything I discover, I must report to the Order as well..."

Snape inclined his head in what Lupin believed to be compliance, but then it became clear that the other wizard was listening for something. Loudly he said, "Here is your Wolfsbane potion. Do try not to ruin it before you can deliver it to your pack leader."

Trying to follow Snape's eyes to wherever he believed Pettigrew might be eavesdropping, Lupin again felt loathing and disgust threaten to overwhelm him, but of course Snape had been right: if Lupin attacked Pettigrew in Snape's own house, he would leave Snape no choice but to defend the man who had betrayed Lily, James and Sirius. What was Pettigrew doing here, anyway? Was Snape keeping an eye on a weaker wizard for Voldemort? Or had Peter resumed his role as spy, making certain that the onetime Death Eater did not stray from his promises?

"Thank you for the tea, Severus," he said in an equally belligerent voice, taking the bottles of Wolfsbane potion and noting that Snape had labeled one for Greyback, another for himself. He wondered what, if anything, might be different between the two, but did not ask, hiding them in separate pockets in his cloak. "I'll let you know whether Greyback needs anything more from you," he added in case Peter was listening, offering only a cool smile when Snape glared.

Evening had fallen when he left the ugly brick house, with cold fingers of mist extending from the fetid river to which Lupin walked with his cloak pulled tight and the hood over his head. The mice among the rubbish fled from him, and he wondered whether he had taken on the aura of the dark creature that Greyback assured him he was. He glanced up at the giant mill chimney which he guessed had not been used for many years and wondered about the house he had just visited. Had it belonged to Snape's Muggle relatives? Had Severus grown up in this dirty, miserable town? And had Greyback wanted Lupin to see it, for reasons of his own?

The isolated little cottage in the woods was more the sort of place in which he would have pictured Severus, Lupin thought as he stepped gingerly among the rubbish, looking around for any sign that he was being observed. There was none, and as he prepared to Apparate he closed his hand around the bottle in his pocket which bore his own name. He had no idea what Snape was up to, few reasons to trust him and a great many to do the opposite, but he remained as certain as he had been that night in the forest that Snape's connection to the Death Eaters was not what it seemed.

If he was wrong, he doubted that he would still be alive.

"Next time, Severus, I expect some answers," he murmured, before he concentrated on Disapparating, leaving the murky river for places where shadows of a different sort awaited him.


	3. Maneuvers

It was the morning after, a rather late morning, and Lupin felt sore and exhausted, with a head full of cotton and eyes that stung at the sunlight that sneaked into the room. He didn't know what time it was, but he was glad that the night was over. No matter how many times the full moon came and went, he would never reconcile himself to the transformation. The pain of it was near-crippling, and the blood thirst made his skin crawl when he had it back.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position on the floor and took a deep breath. At least he'd had the calming effects of the potions that Snape had given him, so he knew what he had been doing while roaming the countryside with the others. Still, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, as if trying to remove the last traces of the beast's hunger. Too many times over the last year he'd felt the full force of his affliction, and had to endure the ravening appetite for blood and the desire to sink his teeth into raw flesh. Involuntarily, his thoughts turned to Snape. It was Snape who had provided him with the Wolfsbane Potion, slipped him a second bottle when Lupin had visited him to get the Potion for Greyback.

Greyback! Lupin automatically looked around the room as if he was expecting to find him there, then staggered to his feet. Greyback had been ordered by Voldemort to attack a foreign dignitary during the full moon. Lupin didn't know yet whether the attack had been a success, but he feared that it had. Greyback was many things, but a failure was not among them.

The light hit Lupin in the face as he made his way outside, loath to stay in the rank smell and rubble of the fleapit where the pack was currently living. He stumbled a bit away from the rundown building and took a few breaths of fresh air, to clear his head. It had always felt as if he'd been to a very loud party and had too much to drink when the full moon was over, and he hated it. If only he'd at least had the joy of the celebration to go with it, not the horrors of what the transformation meant to him.

Reluctantly, he went back to the house to find something to wear. He knew that the pack would accept him more easily if he'd stop protecting his integrity and embrace the wanton lusts and sometime nakedness of the others, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There were limits to how far into the routine of Greyback he was willing to step.

After he'd pulled on a robe that was at least somewhat clean, Lupin went outside again. His stiff and aching limbs were slowly adjusting and the pain became more of a background sensation as he slowly moved over the grassy slope. There were even little flowers scattered here and here, providing him with a delicate beauty that counteracted the night's lingering effects on his mind. Lupin regretted for a moment that he'd never tried harder to learn the names of more flowers. But there was one he recognized, and Lupin stopped, staring at it. Monkshood? That had not been there earlier. In fact, Lupin hadn't seen any Monkshood growing in these parts except for the plant he had conjured to catch Snape's attention back at the forest hideout.

He knew that he hadn't caused it to spring into existence, so the only explanation Lupin could see was that this must be a message from Snape. They had agreed that, if necessary, they would meet in the forest cottage so that they could talk without Wormtail overhearing them, but Lupin realized that they had never agreed on a way to pass messages. If this was one, he knew that he had better take a trip there to see if Snape did indeed want to have a word with him. It wasn't as if Lupin had anywhere he needed to be.

Gripping his wand in stiff fingers, Lupin Apparated to a point a little distance from his actual destination. He slowly stole forward between the trees, alert for any sign of movement or danger. When he reached the clearing, he waited, scanning the house and the surroundings. The musty smell of the forest kept him company until he caught sight of a dark figure walking up to the house. Brisk steps, black robes billowing...yes, it was Snape, there was no mistaking that.

Lupin watched as Snape paused at the front door and looked over his shoulder towards the trees, but didn't move. He wanted to make sure that Snape was alone and that no one else was already in the house. A couple of minutes later, when there had been no sound of voices or other movements, Lupin braved the open space between the forest and the house. No one challenged him and the door swung open with a small creak when he pushed the handle.

"Severus?" He kept his voice low. "Did you want to see me?" Lupin stepped inside and closed the door behind him, blinking slightly before his eyes adjusted to the gloom.

"Of course I wanted to see you," Snape's irritable voice came from the room to his left, and Lupin followed it.

"I thought so, but I wanted to make sure." Lupin smiled faintly. "Still, you didn't have to send me flowers, even though it was a nice gesture." And why was he making jokes about it, to Snape of all people -- the one person who was the least likely to laugh at them? Perhaps because he needed to see things in a lighter mood, thought Lupin, and moved closer.

Snape made a sound of disgust and his lips curled in a sneer. "Feeling cheerful after last night's little escapades, Lupin?"

Warily Lupin replied, "I'm not sure what you mean." He supposed it meant that the attack had gone as planned -- Voldemort must be pleased with Greyback -- but then why did Snape sound so angry, and why had he summoned Lupin?

"Living among the werewolves, I suppose it's no great concern to you if Britain's Wizarding community has been isolated from one more group of allies because of your friend's little exploit. After all, if the Dark Lord wins the war, you will be free to conduct similar attacks wherever you wish."

"Severus, what are you talking about?"

"Did you know?" Snape's face twisted with such fury that Lupin glanced around for a moment, half-expecting to find that they were being observed and that Snape was performing for an audience other than himself. He could not remember ever seeing Snape so angry -- not when Dumbledore had introduced Lupin rather than Snape as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, not even when Dumbledore had told Snape to keep quiet, years earlier, about having discovered Lupin's condition. "Answer me! Did you know whom he planned to attack?"

"Yes." Lupin could see little point in lying. "What did you expect me to do about it? Prevent the attack? Or find a way to warn the Ministry? They wouldn't have been able to prevent it, and I'd be dead now."

"You might have found a way to tell me. You've managed to find me alone twice since my defection became known. You could have warned me that your pack was about to undermine our already incompetent Ministry of Magic and make it even more difficult for the Order to get assistance from outside the country!"

"You told me in no uncertain terms that I was not to contact you again!" Despite his exhaustion, Lupin felt his own anger rising. "It wasn't as if I was in a position to get in touch with you. If I had, and you had found a way to stop it, it would only have proven to Greyback that someone in his pack couldn't be trusted, and I'd have been the first on whom suspicion would have fallen. And if you went over his head it would have put you at risk as well -- you know that!"

"I am in a far better position to assess the risks than you!" hissed Snape, his mouth curling unpleasantly. "Is it possible, Lupin, that you _are_ sympathetic to Greyback? Hoping that Potter will bring down the Dark Lord, but only after the Ministry has been so weakened that there is no hope of keeping the werewolves in check?"

"How dare you." Lupin heard the snarl in his own voice and rose to his full height, not caring if he resembled the wolf from which Snape seemed unable to separate him. "I am trying to stay alive long enough to spy on the werewolves for what's left of the Order and for you. I can't spy on Greyback and fight him at the same time. And you can't get in bed with murderers then complain when there's murder going on around you!"

"I am not the one who has been on intimate terms with Fenrir Greyback!"

It took all of Lupin's willpower not to aim a Stinging hex at Snape's abdomen. Standing very still, he concentrated on keeping his hands from trembling, pulling out his wand or attempting to wrap themselves around his former colleague's throat. "If you consider being hunted down and assaulted as a small child akin to having been on intimate terms with Fenrir Greyback, I feel sorrier for you than I do for myself. I'm leaving now, Severus."

Whirling on his heel, he started for the door, ignoring the voice behind him that protested, "Lupin. Wait!"

He did not turn, but as he reached the door he heard the rustle of robes as Snape moved quickly to follow. Slowing his own steps, Lupin gripped the door handle for strength. He could no more afford to estrange Snape permanently than he could dare to flee Greyback's company, not with so much at stake, but he had no wish to look at him now.

"I did not realize -- " Snape's voice sounded odd. " -- that was a poor choice of words."

Incredulously Lupin turned his head. Severus had lowered his gaze and appeared to be struggling to say something further. There was something familiar about the sight; for a moment Lupin could not think why, until he remembered the bitter, begrudging confession that Dumbledore had forced Snape to offer him the night he had followed him to the Shrieking Shack so many years ago. "Why don't you try 'I'm very sorry'?"

Snape glared murderously, then spat the phrase in perfect mimicry as if it were a question, yet Lupin was so surprised to hear it from his lips that he released the handle. "Apology accepted."

The resentment did not fade from Snape's eyes, but he scrutinized Lupin with a new curiosity, as if looking for some impression on his features of the werewolf who had made him. "He hunted you down?"

"I really don't wish to discuss it."

"How is it that you can bear to accompany him when he preys upon others if you do not share his inclinations?"

"How is it that _you_ can bear to stand with the Death Eaters and swear allegiance to Voldemort? How is it that you could look Albus Dumbledore in the eye, raise your wand and..." Snape's mouth contorted suddenly, twisting in pain as if Lupin had used the Cruciatus curse, and he broke off, reaching out in alarm. "My God. _I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't..."

His hand caught the sleeve of an arm that was waving a wand, though he realized it only after he had stopped it. Lupin stared, and Snape said, in a voice that was not quite steady, "Don't tell me that you weren't thinking about cursing me less than a minute ago. It took no Legilimency to see your fingers clutching the wand in your pocket."

"Perhaps it isn't safe for us to see one another. We're bound to try to kill each other eventually, which will do nothing to improve our working relationship." And suddenly it was all too much -- the lingering pain of his transformation, Greyback, Dumbledore's death, Tonks' neediness, losing Sirius, Voldemort's return -- nothing but hurt in his past or future. The loneliness was overwhelming. He released his grip on the sleeve. "Severus, I should go."

In a quiet, extremely begrudging voice, Snape muttered, "You don't need to leave yet."

"I don't have any information that could help you. We don't trust each other. And as you have said many times, it's dangerous for us to see one another. I can't keep doing this."

"You said..." There was a long silence as Snape put his wand away. "If I needed..."

Then nothing. Lupin searched his face, but it was clear that Snape would say no more. Distracted from his own unhappiness, Lupin considered the nightmares with which Snape must be living. He was sure he had been right to compare his feelings toward Greyback to Snape's for Voldemort, yet despite his own suffering, his life had many more comforts than Snape's. He had occasional visits with the Weasleys and McGonagall and the mixed blessing of Tonks. He had Harry's good wishes. He had the knowledge that what had befallen him was not by choice.

"What do you need, Severus?" Their gazed locked. Abruptly Lupin recalled the wording of that offer he had made, the one he had tried ever since to make himself forget: _if you ever need anyone...if you want someone, in any capacity, you can find me_. Almost without volition his hand rose again as though he had cast Wingardium Leviosa on it, floating through the space between them to find Snape's.

Still Severus did not speak, but his fingers closed around Lupin's, and it was answer enough. "I'm sorry," whispered Lupin again, stepping closer. "I know how much you gave up to gain Vol-" There was a soft hiss, and he lifted his free hand to Snape's shoulder as he amended, "To gain the Dark Lord's trust."

"He is using Grayback in a way I do not believe the Headmaster anticipated," Snape said heavily, "Dumbledore did not share everything with me. If he was wrong -- if his faith in Potter has been misplaced -- "

"He wasn't wrong, Severus. He wasn't wrong about you, was he?"

"Perhaps he hoped for too much. We had quarreled about his expectations. The Dark Lord does not trust me with all his secrets..."

"Shh. Come here." To Lupin's surprise, Snape obeyed, falling silent and staring at him intently. He had made no attempt to shrug the hand from his shoulder, nor to pull his fingers free, and he moved, when Lupin tugged him forward, letting Lupin's arm slide to rest on his back. "He wasn't wrong," Lupin said again. "The Dark Lord doesn't trust anyone, does he? In the end, that will be his ruin. Greyback won't risk his own neck for him, and the Death Eaters won't know how to stop his fall."

"We will fall with him." Though Lupin hushed him again, Snape continued in a bleak voice, "I have not been afraid to die since I left his service years ago. But to have to live like this, for such an end..."

It would not have been honest to say that he kissed Severus only to silence him or to halt his train of thought, though both were true, and in the first instant after their lips came together Lupin felt only the exultation of success, having distracted Snape so thoroughly that there was no resistance. When he found the kiss being returned aggressively, the sense of triumph remained, though the sudden leap in his pulse warned him that things were about to become more complicated.

Then Snape's arms were around him, hands clawing at his back, and a memory tore itself free -- the first time Lupin had accidentally drawn blood during a passionate kiss and the days of terror that had followed, wondering whether he had passed on his contamination. He had always been so careful since that night, avoiding rough behavior, allowing himself only contact that was loving and gentle... but this was neither, and this was _Snape_, with whom he had a decades-long history of mutual aversion.

He pulled his mouth from Snape's with difficulty, trying to catch his breath. "Severus," he began. "I shouldn't have. It's too dangerous -- like this, when we're both upset -- you haven't seen Bill Weasley, Greyback bit him as a man but the wounds won't heal properly..."

Dawning horror had replaced the frustration on Snape's face, yet he still had not let go of Lupin. "Are you telling me that if you bit me now, I would become a werewolf?"

"I'm saying that if I attacked you as a man, it would change you as a man. I don't think anyone really understands how the curse works, not even werewolves. I don't know whether I would have to bite you with malice or only against your will. It's never happened to me, I've never let it, I don't dare."

Slowly Snape had withdrawn his arms, though he had not stepped back. "Children bite one another," he said slowly. "You were still a child when you arrived at Hogwarts. You could have been bullied; you might have bitten anyone to preserve yourself. Are you telling me that Dumbledore took that risk?"

"I was never that sort of a child," insisted Lupin, wondering whether Snape would argue the point, for he had always lumped him in with Sirius and James who had had their own ways of fighting. "I've been careful my entire life. I have never knowingly placed anyone in danger."

"Save that night when you failed to take your potion and nearly attacked three students," snapped Snape.

"Was I a bigger risk than you were? Which of us do you think made the faculty more uneasy -- a werewolf or a possible Death Eater?" Their voices had risen; they were on the verge of quarreling again. "Severus, this is accomplishing nothing. I can't keep apologizing. I am what I am, and so are you." Shifting away, though Snape had not, he turned to face the wall, composing his expression and trying to will calm. "I can't stop you from judging me, but I won't risk contaminating you."

More quickly than he could react to the motion behind him, Lupin found himself pinned against the side of the house with the entire length of Snape's body pressing his own. Snape had seized one of his hands, lacing their fingers together; his other wrist was caught between his ribs and the solid wall. Now he could feel what he had been unable to see, the bulge Snape was pushing against his thigh; he could sense the heat in the cheekbone that brushed the side of his throat as Snape leaned forward to hiss, "You've already contaminated me, Lupin."

He could no more control the groan that escaped his throat than he could control his hips as they pushed back eagerly, welcoming the thrust that flattened him once more against the wall, putting pressure on his stirring groin. Snape's mouth was on his neck, licking and sucking; his free hand was holding Lupin's shoulder to the wall, squeezing it, forcing muscles still knotted from the transformation to relax.

Lupin had wondered what happened to Snape when the formidable restraint cracked, when the tension that surrounded him became too much. There was a kind of wildness in the touch, but control as well. "You smell like an animal," Snape muttered as his fingers moved upward through Lupin's hair, cupping his skull; Lupin felt his head tilt instinctively, like a dog trying to be scratched behind the ears, and groaned again as Snape's hand followed his urging to stroke around his head to his face.

It was exhilarating to be touched like this, not to have to be cautious, not to have to be vigilant. "You could immobilize me," he panted.

"What?"

"You could use a spell. Stop me from moving. I can't bite you if I can't move."

"You also couldn't stop me if I was causing you unbearable pain." Snape sounded shocked that he had suggested it.

"If causing me unbearable pain was in your plans, you wouldn't have needed to touch me." With a moan Lupin shoved his hips back again, ducking his chin to find one of Snape's fingers and sucking it into his mouth. He heard a startled moan at the same moment he felt another sharp thrust against his backside, and Snape's other hand unwrapped from around his fingers to reach for the fastenings on his robes.

"Not still sore from your nocturnal activities?" panted Snape without the usual bite in his sarcasm. Lupin wriggled against him, feeling twinges in his muscles but nothing that could repress his escalating urgency. As he kicked his shoes off, he reached to help Snape with his robes, but Snape pushed his fingers aside. "If you keep your hands where I can see them, I have no need to immobilize you."

Obediently Lupin lifted his arms, pressing his elbows and palms against the wall. Snape had muttered a charm to make his seams open and restitch themselves as he peeled the clothing away, pausing to examine skin and scars with his fingers and lips. "None of these will ever heal?"

"They'll never disappear. Most of them no longer hurt..." Lupin shivered softly as he felt Severus' teeth scrape against a raised ridge of flesh and raised a hand to make the nearest lamp dim, but Snape pushed the palm back against the wall and shifted behind him, baring his own forearm and bringing it to rest beside Lupin's on the wall.

"If you can bear to look at this, then I can bear to look at you." The red skull leered at him and Lupin had to force himself not to flinch. Snape pulled back and dropped his own robes in a pile behind them, his uneven breath skittering over Lupin's back, raising goosebumps on the back of his neck and down arms. "I see that the scars haven't made your skin less sensitive."

"On the contrary. I'm very..." He groaned loudly as Snape slid against him once more, flesh to flesh this time, the solid warmth making his aching bones forget the pain of distorting into those of the wolf. "Oh -- Severus -- want -- "

A crash and a scraping noise made him jump, and he twisted to try to see past Snape. The tattered sofa had zoomed across the floor and was directly behind them, having knocked a small table out of its way. Pushing their robes to the side with a swing of his leg, Snape turned and let Lupin step away from the wall. A finger pointed at the sofa, which immediately swelled to twice its size, straining the threadbare cushions and occupying nearly the entirety of the room.

Climbing onto the sofa on hands and knees, Lupin reached for a pillow and pushed it under his hips which he raised in what he hoped was a clear invitation. He heard the sofa creak and felt the cushions tip as Snape knelt behind him, sliding a hand up his thigh and over a buttock. Snape stretched over the back of the sofa and opened his fingers until a small bottle shot out of a cabinet and into his grip. His cock nudged against Lupin, twitching and throbbing in anticipation as he fumbled with the bottle.

"Is this what you want, Lupin?" demanded Snape softly, sliding two slick fingers up the creases where his thighs met his groin.

"Oh..." Lupin tried to sit back on the fingers but they remained maddeningly low, just out of his reach. Snape was going to make him say it. "You know I do. Please." It had been a long time since anyone had touched him where those fingers were headed, and he was very nearly shaking with anticipation. Even if it ached, he wanted that feeling, not the unquenchable hunger of being a werewolf but the satisfaction of being filled...

The first, gentle touches to the hole made him cry out, fingers oiling the surface, making it tingle before the first one pushed inside. It softened and stretched the entrance before probing deeper, not quite reaching that place he wanted it to stroke so badly. Then there was another finger, again coaxing the opening to relax and stretch, before the two digits together began to slide in and out in a slow rhythm, smoothing their slippery coating up and up and down the channel.

Lupin started to thrust against the pillow beneath him in counterpoint, pressing his leaking cock into the forgiving fabric and grunting softly in time with his movements. "Don't come yet," Snape warned him in a throaty voice, fumbling with the bottle again and withdrawing his fingers. The soft, moist, rhythmic noises Lupin heard could only have been Snape stroking the slippery potion on himself, which conjured a mental picture that made him rub himself harder against the pillow. He heard Snape moan softly and wondered whether it was the feeling of his own hand on himself or Lupin's shamelessness exciting him.

A hand squeezed his bum firmly, stilling him, and he felt Snape bend over his back, urging his legs further apart, bracing himself on one arm against Lupin's side and propelling the wide slippery head of his cock against him. It slid once up along the furrow, letting Snape's balls come to rest where Lupin could reach them if he lifted his hips to stretch his arm beneath himself. Snape sucked in a breath and let him explore the damp sac for a minute, then pulled back, changed the angle of his hips and thrust forward again.

This time the head pressed right past the ring of muscle, pushing Lupin open. It happened faster than he was ready for and he gasped, dropping his hand to clutch at the fabric of the sofa. Snape slowed, lowering his face to bite and suck at Lupin's shoulder blade, until Lupin released a shuddering breath and pressed cautiously back. The damp hand that had been guiding Snape slid around Lupin's hip, finding and wrapping itself around his cock.

"All right?" he asked. It was more consideration than Lupin would have guessed to expect from Snape, and he nodded, feeling Snape's legs tremble with the effort to hold still as the hand began to move in long strokes. Groaning, Lupin pressed back again more firmly, and Snape echoed the sound as he slid in deeper.

There was a slowness, a deliberation which Lupin did not believe stemmed from courtesy but from Snape's desire to draw out the act. He wondered how long it had been and whether Snape was assuming that it would never happen again between them -- that there would be flustered goodbyes and more quarrels at their next meeting. "Severus," he started to murmur, but the lips against his shoulder shushed him and he let his voice trail off into another groan. The ends of Snape's hair tickled where they fell across his back; Snape's breath left warm wet spots where he was panting against Lupin's shoulder. The ache of the full moon had not completely left Lupin's body, and he wondered whether he could last as long as Snape might want.

"More..." he whispered, and heard the other man's breath hitch. Snape was stroking more quickly, both in and out of Lupin and where his hands were on him. "You can -- harder, if you want -- " Curving his spine, Lupin pushed up and back and finally succeeded in making Snape touch him inside just where he wanted it, his body jolting with the sensation and Severus moving jerkily in response. He held on as long as he could, but the strain of the night and the cutting tension that had served as foreplay had left him with little in reserve.

"I'm, oh, soon," Lupin managed to warn, and felt Snape's hips snap forward, slapping into him. Coherent speech left him; he managed only to grunt as he was driven between the hand on his cock and the blunt pressure inside, hardly able to hold himself up on his knees any longer. Snape's harsh moan against his shoulder, vibrating through his torso, pushed him over. As his orgasm ripped through him, spattering his belly and Snape's fingers, he felt Snape trying to slow, to ride through it, but his groin was moving to its own rhythm now, shoving mercilessly forward and back.

By the time Lupin finished gasping, Snape's head had lifted off his shoulder and the hand had dropped from his cock, letting Snape put the full force of his body into fucking him. "Severus," he gasped, feeling himself tense instinctively against the possibility that it would become too much, and either the word or the contraction of his muscles broke through Snape's concentration: he shuddered as he drove deep, where he stayed, straining and letting labored gasps escape his throat as he pulsed inside. When it was over he seemed simply to melt with the exertion, sliding over Lupin's back in a damp, inert stupor.

It was not the most pleasant position in which Lupin had ever reposed after sex, particularly so soon after transformation had left him aching, but he took comfort in the effortless relaxation he would never have associated with Severus. The rapid withdrawal and farewell that he had half-anticipated did not happen; Snape seemed exhausted and overwhelmed. To speak, Lupin felt, might bring many issues to surface that had fallen to the floor with their clothes, so he held his tongue and shifted his aching shoulders until Snape rolled heavily to one side, reached up and rubbed at the spot where the muscles were knotting.

"Mmm. Thank you," he said softly, not turning his head. The spot on which he was lying was wet and growing sticky, but he had no wish to vacate it.

"If you are still suffering from the full moon, I have a potion..."

The voice was slightly chagrined, as if Snape was only just acknowledging how forceful he had been and might perhaps regret it. "No," he said quickly. "Not suffering. Just taking a moment...it's been a long time." Snape said nothing, but did not remove his hand, and again Lupin had the sense that the gesture had less to do with kindness than an urge to draw out the contact. "Next time let's not wait so long." The fingers on his shoulder gripped down, making him wince. "And let's skip having the row."

"For what purpose would we possibly meet, if not to have a row?" Lupin craned his head around, prepared to fire back, when he saw that the corners of Snape's mouth were curled very faintly. "We have not resolved anything concerning Greyback, the Death Eaters, the Order, the Dark Lord, werewolves, Potter..."

"Then I suppose we'd better meet more often, with so many issues to straighten out." He smiled at Snape, who looked back at him. "But, Severus, we're going to break this sofa if we continue to treat it as we have."

Snape raised his arm over Lupin's shoulder and his wand shot from the pile of clothing on the floor. Catching it, he cast Scourgify, then Reparo, but the frame continued to creak alarmingly when either of them moved.

"Perhaps next time we should use the bed. It'll be better for my old, creaking joints."

Snape gave him a long, scrutinizing look. "Next month I believe I will be able to make you the Wolfsbane potion."

"Oh. Severus, I appreciate that, but I can't risk taking Wolfsbane so often. Not if I'm to stay in Greyback's confidence." Lupin swallowed and tried not to show that he was moved by the offer. "In the future, if I have specific information about a target, do you want me to try to get a message to you?"

"Only if you can do so without risk to yourself." Snape rolled onto his back, regarding the ceiling. "You were likely correct in this case that neither of us dared interfere. I was not pleased that I only learned of it after the fact, and from Wormtail."

"I wondered how you were able to contact me so quickly. Severus, Dumbledore could not have expected you to singlehandedly thwart all of Voldemort's plans. We all suspected that you might have known of attacks before they happened. It's far more important that you stay where you are and leave Order business to the Order -- McGonagall has told me the same thing." The two of them lay silently for another minute, studying the cobwebs in the corners of the room, then Lupin reluctantly sat up. "I really should get back before I'm missed."

"Lupin." He looked back at Severus, who looked for a moment as if he might thank him, but all he said was, "Stay safe."

In spite of himself, Lupin managed a smile. "Don't worry...I won't bite anyone."


	4. Clandestine

Remus Lupin could only avoid Nymphadora Tonks for so long before the questioning looks began, not only from Tonks herself, but from Molly and Arthur Weasley, from Kingsley Shacklebolt, even from Minerva McGonagall who had made a point in the past of staying out of people's private business. After all, it shouldn't have been so difficult to visit Tonks. It wasn't as though spending an evening with her was anything like being summed by Greyback.

From the start Lupin had warned her that lycanthropy left him weakened, frequently tired and occasionally impotent, and if the latter was more a result of his mood than his condition, he did not intend to let her know. Tonks was helpful, affectionate and sympathetic if not very perceptive. At least she no longer made demands, she was satisfied to curl up with him before a fireplace and tell him how content she was...

And Lupin was miserable. He hated lying to her and resented feeling as though he had to. It had been tolerable when being with her was the only respite from the loneliness and misery that had become his life, but now ... now his thoughts were occupied with seeing Severus Snape at the earliest opportunity, so every time Tonks held him close and whispered that she was happy, Lupin felt guilty and tense. He knew he was supposed to say that he was happy too or something equally sweet, but often the best he could manage was that he was glad for that and that he enjoyed being with her. It felt like a lesser lie than pretending to be happy.

Lupin didn't fool himself into thinking that he would be "happy" with Snape either -- that was not what it was about -- but he knew that he would enjoy being close to him far more than being close to Tonks, and when his thoughts wandered to the rough sex they'd had on Snape's creaking sofa, he had no problems getting an erection. It was the memory he conjured in secret that gave him the strength to put up with Greyback and the others, to split his loyalty between the Order of the Phoenix and those of his kind who supported the Death Eaters.

He understood that Nymphadora was still young and fancied herself in love, though it seemed clear to him that what she really wanted was solace and acceptance. In a sane world, she would not have faced death nightly even as an Auror. She would have had time to recover from the trauma of Sirius' death and the upheaval of Dumbledore's loss, and eventually she would have met someone with strengths to match her own, someone who would have rejoiced to find himself in Lupin's position. Instead she had attached herself to him so obsessively that her health began to suffer. The Order could not afford another loss; until she was strong enough to recognize all this on her own, Lupin knew he had to do what he could for her.

With a start he realized that Tonks was looking at him and was silently grateful that she had none of Snape's skill as a Legilimens, though evidently she could see that he was troubled. "What's the matter?" she asked, reaching to put a hand on his arm. "You've hardly said a word tonight."

"I have a lot on my mind," he said evasively, not meeting her eyes, unable to take pleasure in the understanding that she would believe he meant his work among the werewolves, which it was understood that he could not discuss.

"More than usual. You look upset. If you can't tell me why, will you let me do something to make you forget?" She moved to kiss him; it took effort not to recoil, and although Lupin managed to smile and purse his lips when she met them, he could not bring himself to respond with any enthusiasm. After a moment she sat back, looking into his face which was now too close to hers for him to evade her gaze. "I feel as if you don't want to be touched."

"I... I'm just not comfortable with that right now." Was there any other way to say this, when she had stated her concern so bluntly? How far could he go to protect her feelings when his had no place any longer, with the entire Order silently demanding that he give up his own wishes and desires? A sting of bitterness stabbed through him before he managed to push it away. "There are things I have done..."

"You don't have to tell me, Remus. I understand." She looked at him with sympathy shining in her eyes. "I know how hard it is for you to be around Greyback and the others...I've heard stories about what they're doing." Once again, she put her hand on his arm. "Oh... and you have to pretend that you're like them!"

"It's more complicated than that," he said more harshly than he intended. "I _am_ like them. At the full moon, when the pack moves, I move with them. When Greyback makes a request of me, I don't dare refuse."

"Remus..." He could see her swallow. "We've all heard about what his pack does to the children he takes -- the ones who survive. That he forces..."

She paused again. Before she could finish the sentence, he interrupted, "Nymphadora, I don't wish to discuss it. Please understand. I _can't_ discuss it." It was the worst lie of all, for he knew that she would believe he had been ravaged or, worse, forced to ravage another, yet he said nothing to alter her perceptions. "I warned you, months ago, that being with me would be difficult."

"I know. I understand..."

"No, I don't think you do. Being a werewolf doesn't only mean that once a month I become a monster. Look what Greyback did to Bill Weasley. That wasn't at the full moon. I'm not a perfectly safe, controlled person the other twenty-seven days a month, no matter what I've claimed to the Ministry of Magic. Don't you know that there are things I could do...if I lost control during a fight and scratched someone or bit someone..."

"But you won't, Remus. I _know_ you." For a moment she looked and sounded so much like Sirius that it made his chest hurt. "I know all this. I knew it before Bill was bitten. It doesn't change how I feel. I'll always..."

"Don't say always." It was Sirius he saw in his thoughts, Sirius who had survived Azkaban and Grimmauld Place only to fall through the Veil and lose whatever time he might have had to be happy and free. "It isn't just that I'm a werewolf. I've already lived through one war. Words like 'always' and 'never' aren't the same for me."

Tonks' eyes had filled with tears, but when he reached, apologetically, to touch her face, she pulled back. "Remus, I _do_ understand. I know that you must think I'm weak..." When he opened his mouth to deny it, she pulled her hand from his arm and held it up to stop him. "I know you think I need too much, but I am strong enough for this. To be with you, I can face whatever it is...if you don't want to touch me, or to talk to me, tonight, then just let me stay with you. Let me show you that you're not alone."

It was Lupin's turn to swallow at the lump forming in his throat. There was no way he could tell her that she understood nothing, that what he needed was someone else entirely. Helplessly he nodded, and tried not to cringe at the gratitude in her eyes.

~~~

"Why don't you stay a little longer, Lupin?" Greyback looked at him and bared his teeth in what could have been a smile. "Keep me company while I eat." He stroked the arm of the girl who brought him his dinner before sending her off with a smack to her bottom.

Lupin loathed the thought of staying even one minute longer in the company of the older werewolf, but he was also well aware of the fact that eyes were fastened on his back, ears were straining to hear his reply. The other werewolves were suspiciously silent and the atmosphere in the room had thickened. It continued to do so as the seconds ticked. The look in Greyback's eyes had been slightly threatening, and Lupin was in no way ready to take up the challenge, if that was what it had been.

So he nodded and sat down opposite Greyback, and immediately the careful tension lifted, and the others wandered off to their own business now that their leader was turning his attention to Lupin. Lupin wondered for a moment what they would have done if he had refused; he'd seen the pack turn on disobedient individuals before.

"I think we're leading a rather good life here, don't you agree?" Greyback cut a slab of meat and smiled as he stabbed it with his knife to bring it to his mouth. "It would be better if we had more freedom, of course. But that's what we'll get from the Dark Lord." He looked into Lupin's eyes again as if daring him to contradict him.

"Yes...it's good to be able to run freely," Lupin replied and averted his eyes, trying to not sound too evasive while finding something neutral to say.

"I'm glad you think so, Lupin, because I'm hearing rumors. Things I don't like."

Lupin looked up at him, not having to feign his worry. "Rumors?"

"About you, my friend." Greyback leaned forward as he chewed another piece of the bloody steak. "They say you're trying to make the other side sound much more appealing than the one we're on. Do you have any idea why they say this, Lupin?"

"Not really, no." Lupin held Greyback's gaze longer this time, to show his sincerity.

"Sniffing to see who'll take the bait?" Greyback leaned back in his chair again. "Dumbledore was an old fool. With all his talk of acceptance and tolerance, and still he never showed any of it towards anyone else but those who admired him. He gave you a job once, but did he ever try to defend your right to stay? No, he let you go, once it was found out who you really are. All about his own public image, and the irony is that your old friend Snape was the one who revealed your little secret to the world." He barked a short laugh.

"He's not my friend. He never was," Lupin said a little defensively, seizing on the one part of this speculation to which he dared respond.

"Oh? Well, that may be true. You don't have to be friends to push someone up against the wall and fuck him. Or perhaps you preferred to bend over a desk, Lupin?"

"What? We never --" Lupin felt his control slip.

"Don't try that on me, Lupin. You like it up the arse." Greyback grinned at him, showing too many teeth, and Lupin wasn't certain of just how much Greyback knew about him. "So the two of you had a tiff, he gave your secret away, and now you're barely on speaking terms. He probably ran straight to his old friend Malfoy to get his needs, and his arse, filled. Malfoy has never hesitated to take advantage of free offers, and those two go back a long time."

Lupin cringed inwardly. Snape and Malfoy? How much of this was true, and how much was just Greyback running his mouth, being crude and nasty as usual? He wondered if he was just trying to see how Lupin would react? Greyback obviously didn't realize that Lupin and Snape had only recently become intimate, so perhaps the rest was speculation, with a grain of truth, as well?

"But I want you to be a little friendlier to Snape, because he's close to the Dark Lord and would know what his Lord plans for us. Voldemort is far more on our side than Dumbledore ever was, but I want some reassurance. I don't want any nasty surprises once he's in control of things."

"You want me to spy on Snape?" Lupin could feel the trap closing around him, and there was nothing he could do to get out of it without drawing more suspicion to himself. If he hadn't fully realized the difficulty of Snape's previous predicament as a spy for both sides, he certainly did at the moment.

"No, just relay information that could be useful to me. I've given you a good place here in my pack," Greyback said. "You're one of mine and that gives you some protection, but I won't let you go around letting people think that you're not on my side while you're wheedling out traitors. You should be more careful about making enemies around here."

Lupin nodded. "I know, and I'm grateful..." It seemed as if the attempt to turn at least some of the werewolves away from Voldemort and Greyback would require a lot more caution from now on. At least Greyback had interpreted it as an effort to see if the werewolves were truly following him.

"Be more careful and do me some favors, prove that you're mine; I'll give you something better, and bigger, than Snape ever could. I promise it won't hurt much." Greyback leered and once again held Lupin's gaze longer than usual, and Lupin knew that it was indeed a challenge -- fight or fuck, openly oppose him or show him obedience and loyalty.

"Let me know anything that Snape say about the Dark Lord's plans, and I'll give you a place higher in the hierarchy, closer to me. Just think of it, I could even give you a few boys of your own to play with, Lupin. It would be just like in the days when you were teaching at Hogwarts."

It wasn't only the words that sent a wave of nausea through Lupin, it was the look on Greyback's face as well: lecherous and conspiratorial. He was revolted by the obvious certainty that he would want exactly the things in which Greyback found pleasure. Lupin didn't want to know what Greyback thought that he had done while being a teacher, but he couldn't stop the knowledge from seeping into his mind, as if cold fingers had dug into his gut and squeezed his inside, bringing suggestions of all the things a person like Greyback would have done, had he held a position as teacher at Hogwarts.

"Merlin!" he exclaimed in a hoarse whisper.

"I knew you'd find that tempting, Lupin." Greyback grinned at him.

Lupin realized that he had spoken out loud and was incredibly grateful for the fact that Greyback seemed to have no talent for Legilimency whatsoever. If he'd had, Lupin would be in a lot of trouble. Still, this meant that now Greyback would probably expect him to take advantage of any boys that he was offered.

The rest of what was said went on in a kind of daze for Lupin. The revulsion stayed, but as he left the house, he felt anger join it. It grew with every step away from the pack's hideout, and when he was out of earshot it had turned to full-blown rage. Greyback had said that he could understand some of Lupin's reluctance to fully embrace the life as a werewolf, having been raised and schooled among Wizards, and that he would overlook that because Lupin's connections could come in handy.

He was a pawn in a game, and Lupin hated it. What scared him even more was the fact that while he was fully on the Order's side, he understood Greyback's play and attempt to use him better than the vague explanations that Dumbledore had given him. _It's necessary, Remus, and you will understand why...trust me._ In that moment that gave Lupin very little confidence or strength. It looked as if he would have to abandon trying to convince any of his kind to join them, or be destroyed in the process, because he could not be the werewolf that Greyback expected him to be.

~~~

Lupin was already in the house when Snape burst through the door, dark eyes beady and distrustful, wand in his hand. "Why have you risked contacting me?" he demanded as he secured the locks. "Has something happened?"

"It's Greyback," began Lupin. "I'm not sure I can remain there, Severus. He wants...well, he wants me, I think, which is terrible enough, but he's offering, or threatening, to give me boys, whether to bleed or..."

He stopped as the horror struck him anew, yet Snape's face was impassive, perhaps even a bit irritated. "It sounds as though he is pulling you into his fold, which will give you greater access to his plans. What precisely is the problem, Lupin?"

"Didn't you hear what I said? He wants me to pursue _children_. That is not something I can pretend..."

Snape's face had grown cold and hard. "Do you think you would be doing those children a kindness by leaving them to Greyback and the others? You taught Defense Against the Dark Arts; you must have some rudimentary skill at Legilimency. You can make them believe what you wish, distract them from whatever it is you can or cannot do."

"Making them believe that they have been brutally violated is supposed to be a kindness?"

"Enchantments can eventually be lifted, and there are skilled Obliviators at St. Mungo's. Lupin, are you telling me that you signaled me in hope of a means of escape because you don't have the courage to do what has been asked of you?"

"How dare you, you murdering..." Lupin's tongue and his feet were quicker than his mind. He did not plan to grab Snape by the shoulder and pin him against the wall, and if he had, in his rage, Snape would probably have read the thought as he projected it. Yet he moved on pure animal instinct, and the instant it took him to corner Snape was not enough time for the other man to escape...or perhaps he simply did not try.

"There, you see, you can be quite effective when you're angry. Try channeling that instead of subjecting me to your tantrums. You'll have Greyback convinced of your loyalty in no time." It was difficult to see Snape's features through the haze of fury that nearly blinded Lupin. He slammed his hips forward, knocking Snape back hard against the wall and trapping him there with his other hand, yet Snape droned on. "You may have become a tame wolf among wizards, but you can't expect to survive among the Death Eaters with your soft belly, even if those of us brought up in civilized society would prefer not to consort with your kind..."

"I'm no tame wolf, Severus." Perhaps Snape was only trying to stiffen his resolve but he had struck deep and viciously, and Lupin was appalled to discover that that wasn't the only thing stiffening. The dark eyes had widened as Snape tried to shrug Lupin's hand from his shoulder; now he gave a noticeable squirm. "You've always believed it. What's more, no matter what you pretend, you don't blame me for it. It's the only reason you've ever respected me."

"If you think that I am going to let you get away with mauling me to bolster your confidence..." But Snape was letting him get away with it, flattening beneath the pressure of his body, making no effort to push him back. If Snape was afraid, the desire was stronger, or perhaps the fear fed the desire; he was hard and his muscles were quivering, not because they were trembling in fear, but because they were being denied full response. His perspiration did not have the reek of terror but the fresh slick scent of arousal.

It surprised Lupin to realize that he could smell this, that the instincts he denied remained so strong. He did not want to have this in common with Greyback -- did not want to have anything in common with Greyback -- yet here he was, mouth inches from Snape's throat, and he felt more alive than he had when facing Tonks' misguided understanding or Greyback's filthy insinuations.

Snape bucked up with a groan as Lupin's lips descended, kissing and sucking, not quite biting...at least, not hard enough to break the skin and risk real contamination, though for perhaps the first time in his life he could feel the temptation pulse through him. This was not Sirius beneath Lupin, to whom he had secretly wanted to cling all those years while the presumed traitor was rotting in Azkaban. This was not sweet, sad Nymphadora whom Lupin was desperate to nudge away. This was _Snape_, his childhood nemesis, who had made him Wolfsbane and thus held him in debt all the months he had taught at Hogwarts, who had then been the instrument of his dismissal...Snape, who had once served Voldemort, who had killed Dumbledore, who might have been Lucius Malfoy's lover. Lupin scraped his teeth along the soft flesh over the vein and felt as well as heard Snape vibrate with a groan of mixed apprehension and arousal.

"Lupin," Snape gasped, finally showing signs of resistance, lurching his lower body in what might have been an attempt to displace Lupin, though perhaps he merely could not help thrusting to alleviate the pressure in his groin. The struggle to hold him down was more pleasurable than it should have been and a part of Lupin was horrified, but Snape responded to the increased restraint by surrendering to it, once more letting himself be shoved back to the wall. "Is this what you've learned from Greyback? Are you going to give us both over to the dark creature?"

Severus was teasing him, Lupin realized. For all his previously declared prejudices against werewolves, he did not believe that Lupin would consider violating him; he accepted the ambush as if it were a game between them, recompense for the way Severus had taken him on his knees the last time they had seen each other. With great effort Lupin tore himself away and stood looking into the dark, gleaming eyes. "Don't ever mention Greyback like that again."

"Why not?" demanded Snape.

"Because this isn't what I've learned from Greyback, Though I did learn a few tidbits about you. For instance, he said something about you and Malfoy...I don't think I'm the one with a taste for dark creatures." Immediately the taunting on Snape's face twisted into fury. "And I don't want to talk right now, Severus, and neither do you, so shut up."

"Well, well, we are worked up about something." Snape still did not struggle as Lupin stepped close, pulled his wand free and ordered all the fastenings on Snape's robes to pop open. "What's got into you, then? Or what hasn't got into you? A little too much Nymphadora Tonks in your life?"

"Don't talk about her either!" Was Lupin to have no privacy? Yet he felt none of the telltale wavering that was the hallmark of Legilimency. Snape was not reading his mind...merely guessing. "I know you were hoping for this or you'd have stopped me before I touched you." With a wave of his wand he made Snape's clothing fly off into a pile across the room and looked down his body at the unmistakable evidence of his arousal. "What part of this are you going to pretend _isn't_ what you want?"

Even as he was stripping off his own clothing, pushing Snape with his arms and shoulders and legs toward the bed, Lupin thought that he did not dare fuck him. Indeed, he _was_ worked up; he would not be careful or considerate, and he did not trust himself, if Snape said the wrong thing at the wrong moment, not to find out just how deeply the wolf's instincts ran in him.

"So you aren't going to bite me, but bestialize me in other ways," Snape said as if he were musing on the possibilities. "What are you plotting, Lupin, to have me on my knees, or..."

"Lie flat. On your back. Looking at me." When Snape's knees hit the edge of the mattress, Lupin pushed him back, falling over him until they came to rest across the middle of the bed. Snape looked up at him, waiting to see what he was going to do, and this single moment of acceptance nearly undid Lupin. This was not Tonks with her gentle expectations; this was not Greyback with his sick fantasies and monstrous demands for loyalty. This was Severus, who might, in fact, be living with even worse.

He hadn't planned to kiss him, but as soon as their lips touched he realized that he had wanted to ever since he had stepped away the last time, frightened of passing on his condition in an incautious moment. Snape stiffened in surprise but did not turn away from his mouth, and after a moment they were tasting one another, taking turns slipping their tongues past each other's lips. When Lupin cracked his eyelids open he saw that Snape's were shut tight, furrowed with concentration.

Oh, this was better even than the delicious thrill of having Severus taut and reluctant underneath him. Their lower bodies were mimicking the movements of their tongues, grinding together, sliding apart, with Snape bracing one foot flat on the bed so he could press up. Lupin drove downward, certain that if he lost control of the encounter, then he might well lose control of himself and the flimsy restraint that kept them both safe.

Snape was not entirely resisting but neither would he surrender; he met every thrust of Lupin's with equal pressure, lifting his hips, cushioning his body as their cocks prodded each other and rode up and down the grooves where their legs met their bodies. Lupin wanted to take Snape's hands in his own, perhaps to link their fingers together and raise them above his head, letting his arms press more of Snape's skin, but Snape had his hands on Lupin's buttocks and was squeezing, pulling him even closer.

Helplessly, his mouth broke free to groan, and Snape looked up into his face with an odd expression, startled and unnerved. "Lupin," he said thickly. "If you're planning to fuck me...hurry..."

For answer Lupin plunged down against him again, feeling the ache of burning friction along his thighs and unable to resist it. He wanted to make Snape come undone, if only for a moment, to watch him yield, to know that he had brought it about; he wanted to feel the slick hot wetness that would stop the chafing and let them fit together perfectly, if only for a few moments. "Just come," he begged Snape, who moaned at the request, "Just let it happen, please, just let me feel you come..."

And the man with such formidable powers of resistance and deception grunted and obeyed him, gripping him to hold him there, spurting a thick puddle between them that coated Lupin's lower belly and upper thighs and groin. His own cock was still swollen and throbbing, yet it was somehow soothing to watch Snape enraptured, seeing the familiar face flush and contort with an unfamiliar expression of release.

He waited until Snape had opened his eyes, the look in them abashed and uncertain, before beginning to move over the more relaxed body that rubbed against his own, fingers still fondling and squeezing his buttocks, and an unexpectedly warm voice said in his ear, "Your turn." Snape slid a hand between them, getting his fingers wet with his own semen before finding and beginning to stroke Lupin with the same conviction as when Snape had fucked him. And he spoke as well: "You need this. It's why you came here. Let go."

For several moments Lupin could not, and felt frustration knotting in his belly. Then Snape drew his mouth along his jaw and kissed him, shocking him deep inside, dissolving all the tension in him, even in his groin; with a final thrust he groaned and spilled over Snape's hip and side.

They did not speak for some time, not even when Lupin slid partway from Snape's slippery body to rest his weight on his own shoulder and elbow on the bed, unsure whether to return to the adversarial tension that defined the boundaries of their relationship or whether to reach in a different, potentially more dangerous direction. The tint of the light creeping through the cracks in the shutters had changed, and Lupin was certain that the afternoon shadows were growing longer, yet he could not bear to think yet about returning to the werewolf pack. After a time he said, "Greyback wants me to spy on you for him."

"Does he." Snape did not sound at all surprised.

"Yes. Greyback wants me to spy on you for him. You want me to spy on Greyback for you. The Order wants me to spy on Greyback for them. Greyback wants me to spy on the Order for him. Oh, but if any of them knew I had seen you..."

And absurdly, Lupin began to laugh, as if the horribly twisted humor of the situation could only become apparent from this vantage point, sprawled naked across the man every one of them wanted to kill. Once he started, he simply could not stop; even when he managed to suppress the sounds of his chortles he continued to shake with mirth until Snape, looking at him with a sternly cocked eyebrow, suddenly twitched his nostrils as the corners of his mouth pulled back. Then Lupin could no longer keep his eyes focused but simply howled until his body was too limp with exhaustion to continue and his side had developed a cramp.

"Are you quite finished?" Snape asked in a lazy echo of his familiar irritated drawl.

"Almost." A grin was still pulling Lupin's face open; he hid it against Severus' neck. There was a purplish bruise where his mouth had fastened itself earlier blooming just below the skin, and when he brushed his lips over it Snape jolted slightly. "I need to know how you do this without going mad. How you smile and nod when you're invited, as though it's an honor, on a raid that is going to hurt innocent people, or when you learn that someone you know personally is to be killed."

There was a silence, and then, "Perhaps it is easier for me. I don't have to pretend to be pleased with anything or anyone. Nobody expects me to have any interests beyond victory. I never smile."

"Yes you do. I just saw you."

"You are delusional. It is possible that you have already gone mad?" Snape's face was impassive, his mouth a stern line, yet Lupin was sure there was laughter in his eyes. "It's very simple really. Even if you believe that you have nothing left to lose, even if you no longer allow yourself to care for anyone..."

Snape seemed suddenly to become aware of Lupin's intense, curious stare. He dropped his eyes, stretching out a hand and summoning his wand from the pile of his clothes across the room. "I believe you are aware of how critical it may be that certain people remain in certain positions, so that when the time is right, that which is most invaluable can be protected," he said, cleaning himself and Lupin with a silent spell. "The Headmaster believed that nothing else mattered. He was prepared to make whatever sacrifices were necessary."

"But he never explained his reasoning. And from what I understand, he kept too much information to himself. The Order doesn't know -- "

"The Order knows what it needs to know to move forward. It is the children," Snape's lip curled very slightly, "who must be ready, as you have been aware since you taught at Hogwarts. I am not certain that even Dumbledore understood all the aspects of the enchantment which spared Potter's life as an infant, but he certainly understood its implications for what was to come in the future."

"The prophecy," Lupin guessed suddenly. "The thing the Death Eaters were looking for in the Ministry of Magic that night when..." _When Sirius fell._ "...when Voldemort came out of hiding. You know what it said, don't you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Snape sharply.

"Harry told us..." Lupin struggled to remember. "He said that Dumbledore trusted you because you had given Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down his parents, and that afterward you had said that you were sorry for it. All of us scoffed at the notion -- I knew how much you hated James, and Harry said you had called his mother a Mudblood." Snape did not reply. "I wondered what information you'd had that would have made Voldemort single out Lily and James. We knew already that there was a spy in the Order, so a list of names wouldn't have made the Potters particular targets -- no more than the Longbottoms or Marlene McKinnon or Edgar Bones. Whatever information you had about them must have been more than just their identities as members."

"What I reported to the Dark Lord never involved the names of any individuals. I had no idea that he would pursue the Potters," said Snape in the same sharp tone. "So I know no more than anyone else...if indeed there was a prophecy, I do not believe that anyone left alive knows its contents."

"And yet you've protected Harry even though you despise doing so." Lupin nodded slowly, aware that he did not dare push further. If Greyback turned on him, the knowledge would not be safe with him even if Snape were inclined to share it. "All right. If I accept that Dumbledore had his reasons for trusting you, then I suppose I must trust that he had a plan, even if he is not here to put it into motion. Severus...you do realize that if Harry finds you, he may force a confrontation that will either force you to injure him or to sacrifice yourself?"

At this Snape made a small scoffing noise. "Unless Potter's skill at Occlumency has increased beyond comprehension in the past weeks, I do not believe he can represent any sort of threat to me. You should be far more worried about him. He is lazy and irresponsible about his studies. Without the ability to focus his mind, he will not be able to defend himself."

"He might let me teach him." Snape gave Lupin a scornful look, but he continued, "I think he sees me as his last connection to Sirius and his father. I taught him to conjure his Patronus -- he was one of my best students, and I assisted him as much as I could when Dolores Umbridge was teaching. I believe that he still trusts me."

"Even if that were the case, would it not be exceedingly difficult for you to see the Chosen One without attracting a great deal of unwelcome attention?" asked Snape dubiously.

A small, bitter laugh escaped Lupin's throat. "Greyback wouldn't question it if I wanted to spend time in Hogsmeade. He'd assume that I was indulging my taste for young boys. It's what he would do."

"Then let him fill in the blanks in his own mind in what you say and what you do." Pausing, Snape looked at him speculatively. "You see, Lupin? If you simply allow others to do the dirty work for you, you may find that their worst qualities will work to your advantage."

"It sounds as if you've done that for years, Severus." Lupin grinned a little.

"And look where it got me." Raising a hand, Snape touched the bruise on his throat. Lupin was about to offer a spell to make it fade when he realized that if Snape had wished to erase it, he would already have done so. Perhaps he would hide it under his robes the way he had once hidden the Dark Mark, a reminder that he was not only what others believed him to be. "Now, get dressed and get out of here before you're missed."

"I'll let you know how it's going." He half-expected Snape to object that it was too dangerous, but Snape only looked at him. "Severus...thank you." The words were met with a customary grimace of condescension, but Lupin was certain, once again, that Snape was smiling.


	5. Evasions

"You've been away." It was not a question, and Lupin forced himself to not tense up when the other werewolf leaned close to his neck -- too far into his personal space, if a thing such as privacy were allowed -- and inhaled his scent.

"I was in Hogsmeade." Lupin was sure Greyback knew that already.

A growling hum and then, "Hogsmeade. Had a good time, Lupin? Missed your little charges, did you?" Greyback pulled back to leer into his face and Lupin had to suppress a shudder. "Was he good?"

"I..." The hair on Lupin's arms rose as he forced himself to breathe calmly. He could not afford to let Greyback know, feel, smell his disgust; he would be dead very soon if he did. "I didn't go there to fuck anyone."

"Oh...only to watch?" There it was again, the sickening grin on Greyback's face. "But you shouldn't have to watch them, Lupin. You should take what you want -- take the boy." Lupin looked into Greyback's eyes and then quickly away. "Yes, I know that you met with a boy, a dark-haired boy...in the Hog's Head." Greyback moved very close, almost pressing his body against Lupin's, and Lupin wasn't sure if it was to make him uncomfortable or for some other unpalatable reason. "You want to fuck the Chosen One, the Boy Who Lived? Is that what you want...or have you already had him?"

Lupin jerked away and stepped back, horrified at the thought. Harry was practically a son to him! As close to one as anyone would ever be, the child of his friends, someone he'd tried to protect and support...that Greyback could even suggest such a thing made Lupin sick. He tried to get a grip on himself as he saw Greyback's narrowed eyes, the change in his posture. "No, I couldn't do that. He... The Dark Lord has said that he wants the boy, remember?" He was grateful that his voice didn't shake too badly and tried to disguise his revulsion behind a claim of loyalty. "I wouldn't dare go against his orders; he's not very forgiving."

"He doesn't have to know." Lupin concentrated on his breathing -- in...out...in -- as he waited for Greyback to continue. He really didn't want to know, but the only way out of this situation now was through it, not around it. "Just be careful not to mark him, and the Dark Lord will never find out." Greyback leered again. "I doubt the boy will tell him. And I can cover up for you, Lupin...if you share him."

Nausea threatened Lupin again, but he pushed it down and instead drew on the anger that swelled inside him. "That's not very loyal of you, Fenrir. Would you go behind the Dark Lord's back?" He glared at the werewolf. "Is that how you serve him?"

Greyback bared his teeth in a low growl and glared back. "Don't you dare question me, Lupin!" For a long moment -- hours, days to Lupin -- their gazes were locked, both refusing to let their guard down. Tension grew thick in the air between them and Lupin was grateful that none of the others were there to witness it. The challenge was there, like before, fight or fuck...and Lupin knew that in this he couldn't back down or he'd be expected to bring Harry to Greyback. "Do you really want to fight me?"

Greyback was broader, taller, used to fighting; Lupin wouldn't have much chance of winning. Better to sacrifice himself than Harry. Harry was too important. "No."

He held Greyback's gaze a little longer before lowering his eyes and didn't look up again until he was pushed against the wall, Greyback's body pressed against his and hot breath against his neck. It was still just the two of them in the room. "Then don't push it, Lupin," Greyback rasped and grabbed his arms, pressing them harder into the wall. "I won't forgive any more of these challenges from you. Understood?" He let his pointed teeth graze Lupin's neck. "And if you don't want to fight, I know what you do want."

Lupin held still while Greyback rubbed against him, his eyes closed and the back of his head resting against the wall behind him even when felt the hard shape of Greyback's erection grind against his hip. However, he did flinch when his robe was torn and sharp nails scratched his chest. Just when he thought he couldn't bear it, Greyback growled, "Tell me about the boys you've had, Lupin. Tell me what you did in Hogsmeade, if you didn't have the Potter arse."

Lupin knew he had to give him details...details he didn't have. "I-I just wanted to see him," he stammered. That was honest enough for him to meet Greyback's eyes. "I've missed him. He reminds me of...of his father."

"His father, Lupin? An old lover?" Greyback's eyes were dark and the menace in them mixed with arousal.

"An old friend." Swallowing down the bile in his throat, Lupin closed his eyes. "One of my best friends from school. He knew what I was and it never bothered him. He protected me -- he and Sirius Black, before...before."

"He protected you? You're not having any feelings of loyalty to the son, are you?"

"Loyalty?" Lupin laughed humorlessly, drawing on feelings he'd tried to forget, feelings of which he had always been ashamed. "It was Sirius who was my lover -- surely you must have heard the rumors." The gossip wouldn't have escaped his enemies -- it likely gave him a kind of credibility as an outsider. "James took Sirius away from me. I could never compete with him."

"Oh yes, I heard about that." Greyback grinned and leaned close again, calmer now, not so aggressive, but still hard. "No wonder you want his son then. You're playing a dangerous game, Lupin. One could believe you had other intentions, seeing the Potter boy, so don't talk to me about going behind the Dark Lord's back."

"The Dark Lord knows that I see Potter," retorted Lupin, realizing as he said the words that of course they were true. Voldemort's spies would have found out; it was likely that Snape had already given them some sort of story, explaining that Harry had allowed Lupin to take Sirius Black's place in the role of godfather, which Voldemort would see as a weakness to be exploited. It was already known that he had fought with the Order at the Ministry and again at Hogwarts the night Dumbledore died. If he had not been targeted for death already, perhaps his relationship with Harry was seen as an asset by his enemies. This was a dangerous game indeed, but one which could work to Lupin's advantage here, with Greyback. "Snape knows that I see Potter," he continued. "You don't think I dare to touch the boy?"

Greyback barked a laugh. "I know you see Potter as well. But I can understand your reluctance to go through with it; there are easier targets, even if the boy is pretty." He let go of Lupin's arms and smiled dangerously at him. "You and I should go hunting together next moon. But until then, we can hunt in other ways, hunt other prey... You're lucky I like you, Lupin."

Lupin ducked his head, hiding his eyes from the creature who had bitten him and made him what he was. Despite what Greyback had done to him, it could have been so very much worse. He had survived. His parents had insisted on raising him themselves and sending him to Hogwarts. Now he might be in a position to spare others from his own fate. "I've always felt lucky," he managed to say, trying to hold in his mind the faces of his friends.

"Some time," Greyback panted in his ear, "I want to hear about Sirius Black. As a boy he was almost as pretty as Malfoy."

"Some time..." Lupin nodded, gritting his teeth, and thought that time would be when Greyback lay dead on the ground, cold and finally silent. "But now I have to go visit Bill Weasley, see if he's developed any new symptoms."

Greyback nodded, clearly not happy about having to break off his activities. He studied Lupin's face for a moment before taking a step back, then he grinned. "You know where to find me." Turning, he strode off, barking for one of the girls to join him. And Lupin fled, Apparating as soon as he had reached a safe distance.

He watched the little house for a long time before leaving the shelter of the trees. It appeared to be silent and deserted, but he was sure Snape used a spell to keep it appearing so at all times, even when he was inside. A knock at the door produced no response from within, nor did the spell to unlock the latch. When Lupin pushed the creaking door open, his eyes were met with darkness thicker than that of the evening woods. Lighting a single candle in the sconce furthest from any of the windows, he looked around. The house seemed even smaller without Snape inside. The ceiling was low and the bed scarcely large enough for one man to sleep comfortably, let alone two, yet they had lain together easily the last time, talking as openly as they had ever done.

The cottage was the only place he had thought to come, yet it was not safe for him to be here. If he had wanted a meal, he'd have done better to drop in at the Weasleys, and if he had wanted a comfortable bed and a sympathetic shoulder, he could have gone to Tonks and traded false promises for comfort. But the thought of imposing upon any of them made him recoil, and he sat down on the lumpy mattress with his head in his hands. He did not dare to summon Snape -- he had nothing of importance to report, and any contact between the two of them was risky for both. Moreover, he was unsure how many other people knew about this hideout or whether other Death Eaters used it. As complicated as matters would be for him if he were caught here, everything would become much worse if Voldemort had any reason to suspect that Snape was seeing Lupin in secret for any reason.

Still, nothing seemed to have been disturbed since he and Snape had last met there. The bed had not even been made properly; the pillow bore the indentation of a head. Lying down, Lupin rested his cheek in the curve and closed his eyes, breathing deeply for a moment, trying to catch a trace of scent that would remind him of the pleasure he had found in this room. He intended to rest for only a few minutes before leaving the hideout and returning to the chores he had abandoned, yet when he opened his eyes, he realized that he had fallen asleep...for minutes or for hours, he was uncertain, but long enough for him to have dreamt of James who turned into Harry, both chased by a huge dark creature who might have been Greyback but Lupin feared was in fact himself.

The sound of a chair scraping over the floor brought Lupin fully alert. Clutching his wand, he sat up just as a burst of light illuminated the room. In the second that it took him to blink his vision clear from the sudden brightness, he caught a glimpse of a pale, ghostly face surrounded by black hair. "Lupin?" Dark and smooth voice. "What are you doing here?" Annoyed, or just surprised? Snape held his wand pointed at him, and he'd arched an eyebrow questioningly. It seemed as if he had regained his composure rather quickly, because then he sneered slightly. "In bed already?"

"Severus." Lupin's heart was pounding; he had very nearly uttered a painful jinx during the instant before he realized the intruder was Snape. "I was just..." He shook his head, trying to blink sleep out of his eyes. "I thought..." Then he realized that he had no excuse whatsoever to offer.

Snape waited, obviously enjoying Lupin's discomfort. "Yes?" he asked with a low voice. "You just...? You thought...? Don't tell me that you entered without invitation for no other reason than you were tired and had nowhere to sleep." Then he narrowed his eyes, "Clearly, there's something else behind it all...Lupin." Snape pronounced his name slowly, carefully, evocatively, as if it was an accusation in itself.

"I didn't come here to go through your things, if that's what you're thinking!" said Lupin much too defensively, trying not to display his true reaction to that measured, suggestive tone. "And of course I had other places to sleep. I couldn't stand another moment of feigning lust for Harry to Greyback, and I just didn't have it in me to go make love to Nymphadora." Snape's sneer had curled into revulsion at the mention of Harry, yet there was a different abhorrence when Lupin spoke Tonks' given name which did not escape his notice. "If you're so unhappy to see me, you should have hexed me the moment you realized who was sleeping in your bed."

"Perhaps I prefer to do it when you're awake. Just a quick spell and you will be all trussed up, powerless..." Snape spoke slowly, deliberately reminding Lupin of that time in the Shrieking Shack when he had set the magic cords on him. "Isn't that how you feel anyway?"

Snape didn't need to use Legilimency on Lupin; his whole form had slumped in defeat. "Maybe that's why I came here," he snapped. "Among the werewolves I'm just one of many, and everyone in the Order thinks I've been defanged. But you've never forgotten what I really am." With a loud snarl he lunged forward, feeling great satisfaction as Snape instinctively took a step back.

"You want to be dangerous. You want to be treated like the animal you are. Is that it, Lupin?" Snape looked searchingly at him. "You feel belittled by their humanization of you in the Order? I would have thought you'd want to be seen as a member of society, since you have been posing as one."

"Do you think I chose to be treated like an animal? Do you think it was my wish to lose every job I ever held -- including the one you cost me at Hogwarts?" Lupin got to his knees on the bed as he spoke, bringing his face closer to Snape's. This time the other wizard stood his ground, returning his glare. "And despite that, I have done everything possible, all my life, to be a member of that society -- to fight evil where I found it. I'm not the one who joined the Death Eaters, am I!"

Snape straightened his back and the glare intensified. "Do you believe that I savor the screams of those who are tortured and killed -- that I enjoy being in the presence of one who would enjoy killing me if he didn't find me of use?"

"Are you going to tell me that you were sorry to learn your old friend Bellatrix had killed Sirius? Or that you mourned for James? I don't know what absolution you're seeking. I only know that you chose your path. I never chose mine; I never chose Greyback...I never even chose Tonks. I've been doing what I must. So don't talk to me about being trussed up and powerless; it's how I live my life!"

Now it was Snape's turn to lunge at Lupin, and he pushed him down on his back, hands grabbing his shoulders hard and black eyes boring into Lupin's. "I'M DOING WHAT I MUST AS WELL! DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO KILL THE HEADMASTER? DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO RUN FROM THE ONLY HOME I'VE EVER HAD? DO YOU --" He broke off suddenly, breathing heavily. Then he pulled back and turned around, walking over the covered window. His shoulders were tense and his hands clenched into fists. It took Lupin a moment to catch his breath before he could think of replying, let alone sitting up. He felt lightheaded, partly from having the wind knocked out of him when Snape shoved him down, but mostly because of his body's completely unexpected and entirely eager response at having Snape's hands on him, even in such circumstances. Had Snape felt it too, or was he simply furious? Had he walked away to stop himself from hurting Lupin, or because he was about to reveal entirely too much?

"I know you didn't want to kill him," he said quietly. "I never thought you wanted to leave Hogwarts. And I don't think you enjoy being with the Death Eaters." There was no response from the still figure across the room, but it seemed to relax just a fraction. "Why do you think I came here? This is the one place where I haven't had to pretend about anything. What I am, what I want, what I find completely unbearable but have to bear anyway." Slowly he slid to the edge of the bed, watching Snape's hands clench and unclench again. "Why did _you_ come here, since it's apparently not for a secret Death Eater meeting?"

"I wanted to be alone. Away from everything. Away from the person I must be there -- with them -- with him. I wanted to be myself again." Snape turned around slowly, but didn't look directly at Lupin. "If only for a short while."

"Do you want to be alone? I truly didn't mean to intrude on your privacy." Snape did not answer him immediately. "Sometimes I'm not even sure I remember who 'myself' is. Or when I do, there's so much guilt attached...why am I here, when James and Sirius and Dumbledore are dead? I could never do enough to make a difference. Is any of it going to make a difference in the end?"

"I can only hope that what I do will make a difference, or my life will have been wasted." Snape met Lupin's inquiring gaze. "And I see that I can be myself with you around. We could continue to shout at each other, but perhaps something to drink would be more relaxing."

A smile pushed at the corners of Lupin's mouth; he tried to pull it down, then gave in to it, feeling absurd, for it wasn't as if Snape had said anything particularly funny. He was afraid that he would burst out laughing again as he had the last time he saw Snape, the kind of laughter that was a substitute for screaming but served the same cathartic purpose. He was not certain that he wanted Snape to relax, not yet. Those hands on his shoulders, that breath hot in his face...he wanted that back. "A drink would be lovely," he agreed, imagining himself adding, _But so would a fuck._ And at the imagined shock on Snape's face, he chuckled helplessly.

Snape shook his head as Lupin displayed yet another sign of his deteriorating mental health. "I'm glad someone finds all of this," he made a gesture to the room, perhaps indicating their entire situation, "amusing." Fetching a bottle of firewhisky and two glasses, he looked back at Lupin. "Are you quite done yet?"

_You could stop me_, thought Lupin. _You could kiss me._ But he was not a powerful enough Legilimens to impress the thought upon a non-receptive Snape, who had busied himself setting down the glasses to pour the drinks and was not looking at him. "If I couldn't find something to amuse myself, I'd go mad. Well, even more mad," he amended at Snape's cocked eyebrow. "You still haven't told me how you stand it. I know what you believe, and I believe the same things, but you must have moments where you want to jump on a broom, fly to Grimsey and never look back."

"At times." Snape held one of the glasses out to Lupin. "But you cannot outrun guilt any more than obligation. It follows you around wherever you go." He frowned slightly as Lupin's fingers brushed his own for a moment longer than was necessary when he took the glass.

"You sound like you speak from experience. Don't you feel as though you've already paid enough?" Lupin studied Snape for a moment before gulping down half the firewhisky with a single swallow, feeling it burn in his throat and heat his chest. Snape was sipping his drink more slowly, seemingly in perfect control once more of the impulse that had driven him to shout at Lupin. "Have you never believed you might snap? I watched Sirius slipping away inside the house at Grimmauld Place and swore that would not happen to me. I would die before I'd live caged up like that. But the cage is there. It's just bigger than those pens where the Ministry of Magic keeps werewolves to study." The rest of his firewhisky gleamed within the glass, and he tossed it back.

Sneering slightly again at the mention of Black, Snape took a much larger swallow of his drink. He silently studied Lupin for a while, as if wondering what he would look like, caged... Then Snape broke out of his thoughts and grabbed the bottle, going over to Lupin again, offering him a refill. "The cage is inside you. Like mine." He sat down on the bed next to Lupin.

There wasn't enough firewhisky in the bottle to subdue the animal inside himself, thought Lupin. He was heady with proximity and reckless from alcohol. "I want out," he muttered. "And you, too." If he had ever seen Snape outside that cage, it was here, in this house, on this bed or that sofa, with all his passion bursting free.

Snape tossed back the last of his drink, then refilled their glasses again. He tapped the bottle with his wand and its contents increased immediately until the bottle was full once more. "You want out and I do too, or you want out and want me?"

Laughing again, with a soft groan, Lupin nodded agreement to both statements. "Exactly." He wasn't going to be able to drink this away, not with Snape right next to him. "Give me that. No, put it down before one of us spills it." He let go of his glass in midair, sending it across the room to land on the table, where it sloshed firewhisky over the side. "Severus, please."

Snape met Lupin's gaze and now there was a faint hint of amusement behind his eyes, in the curve of his lips. "Don't want to reveal more truths?" He gave Lupin his glass and set the bottle down on the floor to have it out of the way.

"I thought we agreed that the truth was too dangerous anyway -- you have your job to do, I have mine, and the less we talk, the better." When Lupin sent the second glass over to the table, it slid against his own with such force that the contents spilled over the side. He lay back in precisely the position into which Snape had shoved him earlier. "You weren't trying to get me drunk, were you?"

"You're already drunk." But Snape's tone was not dismissive, and instead of turning away, he leaned down over Lupin, resting his weight on one arm.

"Yes," agreed Lupin. If Snape wanted to blame firewhisky, so be it. "I might do something rash at any moment."

"What makes you think I will let you?" Snape moved to grab Lupin's wrists and raised them over his head, pressing them down on the bed.

Lupin could not hold back another groan, much louder, as his body curved up towards Snape. "Oh -- of course you could try to stop me." He tried to shift his pelvis against Snape's thigh, tantalizingly just out of reach.

Smirking as Lupin moved against him, Snape leaned over. "I could try, but with your unnatural strength, I may not have a chance against you." He looked deeply into Lupin's eyes. "Perhaps if I unbalanced you." After another moment, Snape leaned further down and kissed him. Returning the pressure, Lupin opened his mouth, trying to tug a hand free to pull him closer, but Snape maintained a firm grip on his wrists. Instead Lupin raised one of his legs, wrapping it over Snape's calves as best he could and trying to drag him fully on top. He was already getting hard, longing to rub against the angular form.

Snape took the invitation and deepened the kiss, not quite able to disguise the hunger with which he explored Lupin's mouth. He lay down on top of Lupin, pressing him into the mattress. The heaviness against his stiffening cock made Lupin groan, tearing his lips free; when he tried to find Snape's mouth again, he found that the dark head had lowered. Teeth grazed his neck, drawing a cry from him; he bucked up, but Snape was still holding his wrists, controlling his range of movement. A low growl built in him, so that by the time he breathed, "Severus," it had a vaguely threatening tone.

Snape shivered in response, biting at the exposed flesh of Lupin's neck. He was hard, eager, and began rocking his hips against the body under his own. After licking at the spot he'd bitten, he lifted his face to look up at Lupin. "Yes?" he replied hoarsely.

Lupin's groin was moving too, attempting to thrust in tandem through his clothes. "Since we're drunk," he grunted, "it might be safer to remove our clothes, before anything gets torn or stained." _Please_, he added silently.

Since Snape had nothing to object to that, he nodded and released Lupin's arms. "But don't try anything," he warned him. "I'll tie you up if I must." He sat up, pushing Lupin's knees apart as he did, and began unbuttoning his robe.

It was too tempting, both the threat and Snape between his legs beginning to undress. Lupin half-sat, reaching out to push Snape's hands out of the way, and ran his hand down to the bulge he had felt prodding against him. "Don't try _anything_?" he objected. Squirming forward, he pressed his face against the still-clothed cock, inhaled deeply and pressed his lips over the outline of the head swelling beneath the fabric.

Snape let his head fall back and moaned. His hand found its way to the back of Lupin's head and he pushed up against Lupin's mouth. "This particular _anything_ is permitted..." he whispered. Mouthing the hard cock through the fabric, Lupin felt dampness blooming under his tongue and reached around to wrap his hands across Snape's buttocks. He could taste Snape's arousal through the cloth and sucked the spot eagerly, humming softly and squeezing him from behind. Oh, they had wasted so much time, he should have dragged Snape on to the bed and done this as soon as he woke him up...

Pulling one hand around a hip, Lupin reached above where his mouth was working and began to unfasten the clothing keeping the prize from him. "Want this," he muttered into Snape's groin.

Snape didn't respond, but resumed unbuttoning his clothes rather more quickly than before. His breath was faster as well, and when he'd pulled his arms out of the sleeves and thrown robe and shirt to the floor, his hand returned to the back of Lupin's head. Lupin, meanwhile, was working the cock free from the material that bound it, shoving Snape's underwear halfway down his thighs and nuzzling the shaft as it was exposed. He ducked his head, running his tongue across the base of the sac, then all the way up to the head where he pushed the foreskin out of the way and tasted the warm slit.

"Lupin..." Snape almost groaned and briefly tightened the hold on Lupin's hair before relaxing again. He was clearly appreciative of what Lupin was doing, as was his cock, which twitched against Lupin's tongue.

"Mmm?" This time Snape did groan, vibrating with the hum, and Lupin parted his lips to take him in, humming again and stroking the lower part of the shaft with his hand. His other hand returned to Snape's arse, pulling him closer, then releasing, encouraging him to thrust. Lupin's own cock was straining against his clothing but he did not want to stop to free it. Even if Snape had wanted to be still, the combination of licks, suction and strokes had him moaning and thrusting, increasingly lost to the world around them.

Lupin found himself torn between wanting to finish him just like this and wanting to stop, undress and offer the rest of himself to Snape. Would either of them last long enough? His own robes were becoming painful, tangled around his body and holding him down. Yet he was afraid that if he halted, Snape would regain control and stop responding with such delicious enthusiasm. Squeezing, he whimpered softly around the cock. The decision was taken out of his hands when Snape pulled his head back by his hair and the smoldering gaze reflected the lust inside. "Not like this," Snape said and quickly licked his lips as his eyes rested briefly on Lupin's mouth. "Undress."

"All right," agreed Lupin so quickly that the words might have been _Yes sir_, ducking his head deferentially to hide his smile. Quickly he divested himself of his robes and sent the rest of his clothing folding itself in a neat pile beside the bed. The dark-haired man was watching him without moving when Lupin returned to his knees in front of him, resting his hands on his thighs. "Now what?"

Snape got to his feet and slowly removed the last of his garments while looking at Lupin's kneeling form. Then he reached out to pull Lupin's head back and leaned down to kiss him, placing his other hand over the arching throat and squeezing it just a little. He broke the kiss and murmured, "Now I tie you up," before kissing Lupin again.

Gasping, Lupin very nearly bit down on Snape's lip. Oh, he had known this could get dangerous, but the black eyes staring at him as he struggled to regain control of his breathing sent a thrill through him that had an element of fear. "Did I try something I shouldn't have?" he challenged.

"No." Snape's lips curled slightly in what could have been a smile though the man most certainly would have claimed it was a sneer. "But I think you're too dangerous not to be tied up."

"Well, of course," Lupin returned the smile, sliding his hands over Snape's chest, then sitting back and turning his wrists up as if in offering. "If you _do_ think I'm dangerous, you wouldn't want to risk having me out of control." His grin bared all his teeth.

"Shut up!" Snape pushed him down on the bed, and in an instant Lupin's hands were tied to the bedposts and Snape's mouth was on his again. This time Snape didn't let up, kissing him roughly and moving a hand down between their bodies to fondle Lupin's cock. "You want it, I can see it...and this betrays you." He smeared the moisture over the tip with his thumb. "Don't play with me."

"I've never -- oh! -- been playing," groaned Lupin, pressing helplessly up against the hand as well as he could with his upper body restrained. "I do want it. Severus. Fuck me!"

Snape paused his tormenting for a short moment to look into Lupin's eyes again. What he saw, Lupin knew, was lust, need, and the truth: Lupin wanted him. He stretched out a hand to catch the jar of salve that flew across the room to him and nudged Lupin's legs more widely apart as he sat up between them. "Pull them up." Snape's voice echoed his own lust. When Lupin obeyed, he pushed a pillow in under his hips, then opened the jar.

Biting his lip, Lupin spread his legs more widely, refusing to allow himself to plead any further. The fear had not entirely vanished and he felt much more exposed in this position than when Snape had taken him on all fours, unable to see his face. _He wants this as much as I do_, he reminded himself. _He needs me restrained now because he doesn't trust himself any more than he trusts me._ Yet when the first finger touched him, he shuddered and cried out, "Oh please -- "

Snape pushed it inside him with a nearly impassive expression, trying to hide that Lupin's begging affected him. He moved in a steady rhythm and as he slipped a second finger inside, he leaned down to lick and tease one of Lupin's nipples. Though his initial impulse was to grip Snape's head, Lupin strained against the cords that held his wrists and only succeeded in arching upward, wailing another plea. He was so hard, and those fingers were driving him mad...he was afraid of coming with his cock untouched, showing Snape how very little control he had left.

At least Lupin's desperation seemed contagious, because Snape soon withdrew his fingers, replacing them with his cock. He placed his hands on the back of Lupin's thighs while sliding into his arse. "This is what you want?" he asked, hooking Lupin's legs over his shoulders to rest his weight on his arms as he began to thrust into him. The pounding knocked Lupin's breath out of him, but he was grateful, for he was unable to make any sound more coherent than grunts; if he had been able to plead he would have continued to do so. His cock was dribbling on his belly, arms pulling at the cords which bit into his wrists, and the inflamed look in Snape's eyes had him right on the edge.

Snape moaned deeply, breathing hard, pleasure beginning to overwhelm him. His arms trembled from the strain until he straightened up again and grabbed Lupin's hips, but after a little while, perhaps swayed by the pleading look in Lupin's eyes, he slid a hand over to close it around the hard cock between them. Helplessly Lupin threw back his head and cried out, unexpectedly finding his tongue, "Severus, oh, don't stop!" He could feel Snape's eyes boring in to his own and could not look away, though his mind was screaming of the danger, _He'll see everything_. It only added to his excitement.

The room was swimming around them, and Snape did indeed see -- things that Lupin tried to keep from him, because the things he tried to hide the most were also those that were forefront in his thoughts, things that perhaps they would both find embarrassing later. But now it made Snape groan and stroke Lupin harder, relentlessly driving him over the edge. With a wordless cry, Lupin clutched at the cords extending from his wrists and jerked his body upward, forcing Snape in deep. He convulsed with a strong spasm inside as his cock pulsed and spurted, coating Snape's fingers and spattering his belly with a warm puddle of come.

Snape's moan was lost in Lupin's cry, but when Lupin arched and clenched around him, he could no longer hold back his own climax and after a few more thrusts, he filled Lupin's arse with his seed. They were both out of breath and Snape waited a few moments before he let go of Lupin's softening prick to slide his hand up through the white splotches. As he seemed to regain his normal hold on reality, he also avoided Lupin's gaze.

"Severus." The dark eyes flickered upward, then dropped again. Snape would not risk giving anything away even though he was still inside Lupin, reminding him of the first time they had _made love_ fucked, as if he wanted to draw out the sensation of physical ease as long as he could. Though the cords were biting into his wrists, Lupin let his arms relax, hoping that Snape would continue to touch him so long as he could force no contact. He planned to make no demands either, but as he sighed, he found himself murmuring, "...good."

There was the tiniest twitch at the corner of Snape's mouth, and then his fingers moved in a circle around one of Lupin's nipples, outlining it with semen. He nodded once in agreement but kept his silence, letting Lupin's legs slide off him to the sides. Though Lupin regretted having to move, feeling that they were no longer so wrapped up in each other, his back was getting stiff and his calves were cramping. He pressed his knees in, holding Snape as best he could around the waist and watching his fingers as they traveled.

Snape's gaze traveled up as well, to meet Lupin's and for a fraction of a second the thought _don't stop_ seemed to hang between them. But Snape did stop, pulling back his hand, and then he grabbed his discarded wand and pointed it at the bonds. The cords unraveled from around Lupin's wrists and fell to the floor. Then Snape slowly pulled out while Lupin rubbed the abraded skin, and moved to stretch out on the bed next to him. There wasn't much room, so Snape had to lie on his side, and put his arm over Lupin's middle.

Lupin froze mid-breath, afraid that if he inhaled too hard Snape would read it as pressure from below and remove his arm. Lupin's hands, too, were suspended in midair where he had been stroking the furrows left by the cords; he worried that if he placed his fingers over Snape's arm it would be perceived as clinging but if he tried to wriggle beneath the arm he might dislodge it. Very slowly he let the hands descend, brushing over Snape's with one and bending the other to rest against his own side. _Stay_, he thought as intently as he could.

Snape didn't miss the sudden insecurity and awkwardness. He gave a slight snort. "I'm not going to fall out of bed if you move, Lupin."

"It wasn't you falling that I was worried about," retorted Lupin, firming his grip on Snape's hand and turning toward him. He could read nothing in Snape's expression, but at least the man wasn't getting up and putting on his clothes. "I'm the one who's supposed to be drunk, remember?"

At that, Snape arched his eyebrow. "Supposed to be, Lupin? I thought we both had too much to drink." But Snape didn't seem too affected by the firewhisky, at least not enough to be able to blame it for a fit of momentary madness. Safety in lies and deception, covering up real purposes and agendas, even in his personal life, or perhaps especially there.

Shifting closer to him, not wanting to return so quickly to the intricate politics and personal doubts that governed their conversation, Lupin closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Snape's shoulder. This was comfortable, and Severus felt at ease. How he longed to stay there.

If only they...

Lupin's eyes snapped open again.

It wasn't Snape falling that he needed to worry about. It was himself.


	6. Divulgence

_I am not becoming attached to Severus Snape_, Lupin told himself. _If I think about him, it is only to serve as a distraction. I can't afford to let Tonks know how little she arouses me. I can't afford to let Greyback see how much he repulses me. Snape helps me keep my focus. That's all it is._

That he wanted Snape, Lupin could not deny. His body reacted so strongly to the memory of his touch and even his scent that it sustained him in bed with Nymphadora and allowed him to feign something other than horror when Greyback made remarks about his exploits. It bothered Lupin that he had to do this. It was not that he was troubled by sullying Severus' image in his mind, for he never let himself forget that Snape was a Death Eater. But he feared that if he kept conjuring Snape in such situations, he would become incapable even of feeling that conflicted attraction, and then both the pleasure and protection it afforded him would be lost.

Yet any stronger feeling would be dangerous to them both. If Snape thought Lupin felt a genuine connection, he would likely refuse to see him again. Either of them could be compromised or killed at any time. Lupin did not dare to offer their enemies anything further to hold over them, nor to risk grief that might incapacitate him.

If Dumbledore had been alive, he might have disagreed. But Dumbledore was dead. Snape had seen to that. Dumbledore's unwavering belief in the power of love had saved none of them.

"Thinking about something, Lupin?" asked Greyback with a leering smile. These days, whenever Lupin was distracted, Greyback seemed to believe he was lost in a fantasy about Harry Potter, which was just as well; Harry was perhaps the one boy in Britain it made sense that Lupin dared not touch.

Still, the questions made him feel violated and dirty, which was also just as well, for when Tonks subtly insinuated that she knew Lupin was being exploited by Greyback, it was not fully a lie to let her hold to that belief. The truth might have horrified her even more.

Greyback knew about Tonks, of course; he'd had Lupin tracked often enough to know where he slept when he was not with the pack, and considered it clever on Lupin's part to be using an Auror as his cover in Hogsmeade. It was all too easy for Lupin to protest that Tonks was a convenience and find himself believed. He told himself that she would want him to stay safe using whatever words were necessary to remain in Fenrir's confidence, but the layers of lies and deceptions left him guilty and miserable, uncertain even of what he believed.

So many wizards thought that all werewolves were dark creatures like Greyback, when it was only the leader who was truly corrupt. What if there were more Death Eaters like Snape, who had sought to secure the old Slytherin hierarchies without being murderous villains like Voldemort? With Dumbledore gone, the Ministry was claiming more and more powers for itself, putting people like Dolores Umbridge in positions of greater influence. What, exactly, did Lupin expect to happen when the war ended...some miracle that would improve his lot and finally allow him to be happy?

"What does your boy smell like when you take him, Lupin?" Greyback rasped in his ear. "Does he smell like terror, or like hunger? I bet you want him craving you -- you don't much like fear. I bet you want him desperate..."

"I've told you I'm not touching Potter."

"Yes, but you are touching someone, Lupin... There are times I can almost smell him on you, but the scent is too weak to recognize. And I can smell your own desire." The older werewolf grinned. "It makes _me_ hungry."

There was a ravenous look in Greyback's eyes. Lupin realized that he wouldn't be able to dodge these questions any longer. He had to tell Greyback something, give him something that would satisfy the werewolf's perverse lusts. And, most of all, something that would turn his attention away from Severus Snape, who was in Lupin's thoughts again.

"There is someone," he said haltingly, conjuring an image of a much-younger Snape, the brooding boy with whom he had attended Hogwarts. "I first noticed him because he was following me around. I thought he must have suspected that I was a werewolf, he was so determined."

"But he didn't?"

"I don't think so...or if he did, it didn't matter. We talked a few times, and I worked out that curiosity was only his excuse. He smelled like sweat and need."

"He wanted you," growled Greyback, leaning closer; the story was evidently arousing him. "Maybe he even knows what you are and wants that too. Some of them do, you know...sneaking around at night, wanting to be free from their parents, asking for it..."

"That wasn't what he was asking me for," insisted Lupin, trying to keep his focus. He could see the younger Snape clearly now in his mind, following at a discreet distance behind himself and James and Sirius -- he would not include Peter in this memory, the same way he had once tried to forget Sirius. "At first he only wanted to talk to me alone. Sometimes he used schoolwork as a pretext. Then I noticed the way he looked at me..."

Lupin stopped, appalled. He was no longer embellishing for Greyback: the Severus he remembered, the boy who had tagged along behind him, had indeed found odd reasons to address him and had stared longer than should have been necessary when James and Sirius were there showing off for anyone to notice. Lupin had been so afraid that Snape would guess his secret, he had never wondered whether there might be some other reason for his interest.

Greyback nodded, eyes alight. "Yes?" He was waiting for more, Lupin knew when he tried to focus on that leering face before him. "Did he tell you he wanted you to touch him, fuck him? Did he let you know how hard he was for you?" Greyback's breath brushed hotly against Lupin's face. "Or did you just push him up against the wall and take him that first time?"

"The first time..." Lupin had to close his eyes, blocking out that twisted smile. Two images were filling his head: the first time Snape had had him in the little house, pinning his hands and making him beg, and a much earlier encounter with Severus, the awkward boy standing unnecessarily close to him in a Care of Magical Creatures class as if trying to sniff out the animal beside him. But that wasn't what Severus had been doing at all, Lupin saw with a clarity that embarrassed him. "He touched me, yes. He's...he's not much for words. He said..." _You've already contaminated me, Lupin._ "He said he'd wanted me for a long time."

"How old is he, Lupin. How old?" Greyback growled, clearly aroused.

"Fifteen," Lupin said without thinking, picturing the skinny boy James had tormented one sunny afternoon, a Slytherin who had no reason to be near a group of Gryffindors unless he wanted to see one of them in particular. "But I met him even younger...at Hogwarts, when I was there...he must have been eleven, twelve. He followed me around even then."

Greyback nodded, drinking in Lupin's words and picturing everything in his mind, giving the images his own particular coloring. "So he was ready for you...go on."

"I didn't want to scare him away," admitted Lupin, keeping his eyes closed to avoid seeing Greyback's predatory face. "I wanted him to come back. I let him have me, the first time, against the wall, and later on a sofa." With his eyes shut he could almost imagine that it was Snape leaning so close to him -- was he touching himself? He would not think about that. "He was hungry, and he was greedy -- he took what he wanted."

Greyback barked his ugly laugh. "You let the boy take you! Was it good? It wasn't his first time?" He laughed again. "You are such a bottom, Lupin!"

"I doubt it was his first time," replied Lupin with an unexpected pang of jealousy that he was surprised to hear in his own voice. _Was it Malfoy who found you before me? Was it one of the Slytherins from our own year, or even Sirius' brother?_ "It _was_ good. He knew how to touch...and he let me tell him what I wanted. Though the next time, I didn't even let him tell me that much, I just pushed him down and made him obey."

"Showed him that you can handle him, eh Lupin?" Greyback moved back a little and now Lupin couldn't ignore the knowledge that he had in fact his cock in his hand and was slowly stroking it while listening to Lupin's story. "Is he tight?"

_He hasn't let me get that close, he hasn't let me in -- I think he's afraid._ Aloud he said, "Very tight. Frightened, but he wanted it. He was shaking -- I think I could have made him come without even touching him -- "

Greyback moaned, a deep, ugly sound in the back of his throat that made Lupin shudder. He was lucky, though, as Greyback had just closed his eyes the better to savor what Lupin had said. "The young ones are so delicious...but this one is already fifteen you say. You like them older than I thought." Greyback's voice was a raw whisper that grated on Lupin's ears.

"Potter will be of age soon," he reminded the older werewolf, trying to sound regretful, privately hoping that this if nothing else might make Harry safe from him. "I like them old enough to know what they want...old enough to be able to take it rough and give some back." Remembering how Snape had bound his arms, his pelvis twitched in spite of himself. "And hard -- not a crying child -- someone who wants to learn."

Greyback's breath was faster, deeper now, and Lupin's ears picked up the unmistakable sound of Greyback's hand moving faster...he swallowed hard against the vileness. If only Greyback would be done, so that he could leave, run, flee! "Yes...and do you take him hard, fuck him roughly? Do you taste his skin when he comes?"

"Y-yes," groaned Lupin helplessly. "I try not to bite him...I don't want to contaminate him. I want him pure. But you know how it is, when you can smell him coming. The flesh right there beneath your mouth, it's too much sometimes. I want it. I can't help it. I want it!"

Lupin was partly grateful for his own emotions and arousal now, because they shielded him from what otherwise would have been revolting to him. Greyback groaned as well and the sharp smell of semen filled Lupin's nostrils; the older werewolf had come, goaded on by Lupin's words. What shocked him, though, was that apparently he wasn't so very different from Greyback. In a flash of a moment, no longer than a second, he thought he knew the excitement and power that Greyback felt with his teeth on someone's throat. That longing to bite down, to mark, to own; it made him hard.

"I have to go," he choked out, pushing past Greyback, fleeing into the open air in the direction of the river. He felt filthy, but worse, he felt hungry, and he did not know where to turn with the feelings.

Perhaps now, he thought savagely, he could give Tonks what she wanted; she had wanted him with her so badly, wasn't it time she saw what he really was? Though his joints complained with every step, he walked swiftly to an isolated spot from which to Apparate. It was early enough in the day that he thought Tonks might still be at the Ministry or patrolling, which would have given him some time to calm himself, but when he knocked on her door she opened it right away.

"Remus!" she exclaimed in a pleased, surprised voice when she saw him, though she quickly thought better of greeting him where they might be seen and grabbed his arm to pull him inside. The touch seemed an invitation, or perhaps a violation; Lupin knew only that it inflamed him even further. The moment the door was closed he pressed her back against it, kissing her harder than he had ever dared. When he finally let her up for air she looked even more startled, but not in the least unhappy. "Does this mean you've missed me? It's been more than..."

"I know," he interrupted and kissed her again just to shut her up. Wasn't it enough that he was here now? He'd told her that he would try to make this work...couldn't she see how hard he was trying, and what it was costing him? "I'm here now," he said. "Got away from Greyback. But I can't stay long."

"Then come in," she said, finally reading his mood, grinning a little and tugging him away from the door. Lupin thought she would have taken him to her bedroom but he did not want that; he did not want to associate her bed with the bloody thoughts he could not remove from his mind. The couch was closer, anyway, and she went willingly when he directed her toward it. "What's got into you?" she asked with a laugh.

_Nothing's got into me_, thought Lupin savagely. Aloud he said, "It's the middle of the month, I'm feeling fine, I wanted to see you." Her pink hair smelled artificially sweet, and her pale narrow neck looked vaguely unattractive to him. This was good. This was safe. She smiled, her cheeks flushed with color as she sat down, reaching for him. Lupin closed his eyes as he felt her hands on his back.

Safe, perhaps, but it felt wrong. The body that pressed against his own was soft and small of frame, the hands that caressed him were small as well, careful and oddly hesitant. "You make me so happy, Remus," Tonks whispered hotly in his ear as she arched up against him, and Lupin tensed. He made her happy? So that too was on his list of duties, he thought grimly -- the happiness of someone else. He pulled back a bit to look at her.

"Nymphadora, I can't make you happy. Happiness comes from within, not from an outward source." He was so tired of this, tired of seeing those big eyes hoping and waiting for him to perform some miracle so that she would feel good.

"You're tense," she whispered. "I understand what you're going through with --"

"No. No, you don't." How dared she presume that she understood what he had to do, the horror of having Greyback pawing at him, how that brought up his childhood terrors over and over, how sickening it was to pretend to have assaulted and abused young boys. "If anything, you were happier before you fell in love, Nymphadora. Then you became unhappy. You have lost your happiness, and you can't demand that I give it back to you."

"I'm not demanding --"

"Aren't you? Isn't everyone?" Lupin got up from the couch in a sudden move. "They all wanted me to give in to your wishes because Dumbledore would have wanted it! Against my judgement and my misgivings!" He brought his voice under control again, lowering it. "I like you, Nymphadora. I am fond of you and I like you as a friend and a colleague. But I can't..."

"Stop it!" Her pretty face had scrunched up like a little girl's, as if she was about to cry or have a tantrum. "We're through all this. We're together now! I need you! And you need me, or you wouldn't have come here!"

"I came here because I had nowhere else to go! Because it's easier to pretend with you than with Greyback or with -- " Horrified at what he had been about to say, he stopped himself. "I need a friend, Tonks, and so do you. Not this."

"It's not true!" Tears rolled down her face. "You can't leave me! I'll die without you!" Her eyes had gone strangely wild and her breathing was irregular, strained.

"Stop this! You're not a girl under a love potion. Do you really want a lover who's with you against his will?" Something nagged at Lupin, something Harry had told him -- love potions, that was it. That girl who had tried to compel him, something Lupin found appalling. Could Tonks actually be under the influence of a love potion? But the potion was usually given by the would-be-lover, and he certainly hadn't tried to force her affections. Yet she was so different, such a completely changed person since Sirius' death, since she returned from St. Mungo's and was assigned to patrol Hogsmeade.

"But you want me! I know you do!" She threw herself at him and grabbed his robe in her fists. Pushing her back more roughly than he intended, Lupin knocked her to the couch and saw surprise and anger in her eyes, the most lively expression on her face in months, a moment before she put her hands over her face and began to sob. "I'll _die_, Remus!" She sounded as though she believed she meant it.

Frantically Remus tried to recall the sequence of events that had brought them to this -- Tonks' increasing flirtation at Order meetings and whenever they were sent to patrol together, Molly's initial ambivalence (Lupin had thought she was hoping Tonks would distract Bill from Fleur), then the growing pressure to reciprocate her affections, Tonks' increasingly erratic behavior...who else would have gone to the Headmaster himself to check up on a sweetheart? Molly had not wanted to interrupt Dumbledore when Arthur was nearly killed. This was not the Tonks he had known. No matter how much she might have blamed herself for Sirius' death, no matter how lonely she might be, it did not explain the shocking change in her personality.

And then Remus remembered the inane bulletins from the Ministry of Magic that they had all been discarding since Scrimgeour took over, one of his hapless efforts to make it appear as though he was accomplishing something. _Should you feel that a family member, colleague, friend, or neighbor is acting in a strange manner, contact the Magical Law Enforcement Squad at once. They may have been put under the Imperius Curse._

How had none of them suspected?

The sobbing continued while Lupin quickly went over the past events. He knew that Arthur had made a point out of always giving passwords when he came home, to make sure that no one was polyjuiced... but so far as Lupin knew, he and Tonks had never done so. Was there something that he knew about her that he could ask that a polyjuiced person wouldn't know? All he could think of were obvious things like her family tree, something anyone could have researched, or questions she could plausibly refuse to answer about her work at the Ministry, and such a question wouldn't reveal an Imperus curse at any rate.

He had to talk to someone, one of her colleagues or friends...but would Molly and Arthur believe him, or would they simply accuse him of being selfish, as they had insisted all of the previous year? Would Dawlish even listen to a werewolf? Lupin didn't dare approach Shacklebolt, living and working in disguise among Muggles, nor did he wish to involve Minerva when she had so many responsibilities as Headmistress of Hogwarts. Moody would recommend isolating and interrogating Tonks as soon as possible and he would be ruthless. Who else could he ask?

Snape had seen her, talked to her... They weren't friends, but Snape had a keen mind and was used to make observations. Lupin got a cold feeling in his gut. How often had Snape remarked upon the peculiarity of the change in appearance of Tonks' Patronus? Lupin had assumed that the comments were intended to taunt him over the obsessive nature of her interest, but what if they had been a warning?

On the sofa Tonks had continued to sob, tearing at her hair and twisting her face as if changing her appearance would miraculously cause him to love her. It astonished him that she of all people, a metamorphmagus, could fail to understand that attraction was so much more complicated than what lay on the surface, yet he knew that she could not be thinking for herself. "Nymphadora," he said gently. "You were right. I'm very upset. I'm tense. Something awful happened with Greyback earlier and I'm afraid I've made you suffer for it."

Wiping her eyes, Tonks looked up at him and attempted to give him a watery smile. "What...what happened?"

"I can't talk about it. Please believe me, it was terrible...it involved a child. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I thought that perhaps if I came to you, I would feel less connected to it. Less dirtied by it. But I'm afraid I've only made you miserable." He made a halfhearted attempt to return her smile; if he had had any doubts about the mechanical nature of her emotions, the sudden, childlike change in her behavior convinced him.

She nodded slowly, and wiped her tears from her cheeks with her sleeve. "You're so brave, Remus. It must be awful there...awful. I'll be all right..." She sniffled and put on a more successful smile. "We can just cuddle a bit, until you have calmed down?"

"I shouldn't stay," he protested, but he let her put her arms around him and press her damp face against his shoulder. He knew that she could feel his tension. Every muscle in his body wanted to jump up and flee to Severus, but it would be as dangerous to give in rashly to that impulse as it would be to leave too quickly, before he had convinced Tonks that he intended to return and she should not do anything foolish. "They expect me back. I left Greyback's company without permission...I'm going to owe him an apology, but I just couldn't face him then."

"All right. Just stay a little while then." He could feel her smile against his neck now. "He's such a vile creature, nothing like you, Remus. I'll be waiting for you...and when the war is over, we will be happy."

_Happy._ Remus no longer remembered how that felt, if indeed he had ever known. Now when he thought of his school friends, it brought him only sorrow, and when he thought of love it was even worse. _I am _not_ becoming attached to Snape_, he reminded himself. _I have to see him; he's the only one who may be able to help me now._

~*~

The cottage in the woods stood looking as silent and deserted as ever, with the long shadows of the trees nearly hiding it in the fading daylight. It was a dark place for a dark creature...a creature like himself just as much as a Death Eater. For once, Lupin could see a light inside and a vague shape moving across a window. Was this Snape, or another Death Eater? But the cottage seemed to be mostly used by him. Lupin did not dare enter without being certain, and sat down on the chilly ground to wait. He could not risk casting a spell about himself to keep warm, either, for the magic might be noticed.

Long minutes crept by, giving Lupin more time than he wanted to recall the things he had said to Greyback and the thoughts they had put in his mind. How thoroughly would it disgust Snape if he knew that Lupin had used descriptions of him to fuel Greyback's filthy fantasies? And Snape not even as he was now, but as a child. Again Lupin remembered the awkward boy who had trailed him at Hogwarts long before he knew there was a werewolf at the school. If Snape had really wanted him all those years ago, was it possible that he had carried around the feeling, hidden, in the intervening time?

The sound of the door opening and low voices carrying to the edge of the woods pulled Lupin out of his reverie. The sun had set and the shadows had thickened around him, so he was quite well-hidden. The two men framed by the light spilling from inside the cottage were easy to see -- Snape and Draco Malfoy! Was he here on Death Eater business? Lupin hadn't thought Snape used this cottage for such meetings; Greyback's alliance with Voldemort was unofficial, for while the Dark Lord would make use of his affiliation, there were many among his followers who had as little tolerance for chimeras and Dark creatures as Dolores Umbridge. Was Draco here on Voldemort's business or was Snape up to something else entirely with the boy?

Snape's face looked calm enough, but Draco appeared to be afraid, not of his former teacher but of something he kept glancing around as if expecting to see leaping out of the shadows. Though he strained his ears, Lupin could not hear what Snape said to Lucius Malfoy's son. He had guessed that Snape was not happy that his former mentor had been left to rot in Azkaban, and Draco surely wished to see his father free. Yet Dumbledore had seemed sorry for all the Malfoys, claiming that Lucius was probably safer incarcerated than if he were free for Voldemort to punish. Was it possible that Draco's loyalties lay not with the Dark Lord, but with Snape?

When at last the boy had gone, Lupin waited several minutes before he left the shelter of the trees and crept across the clearing to the front door. He supposed that the polite thing to do would be to knock, but it was possible that Snape would attempt to evade any more visitors. When Lupin tried the handle, the door opened for him, so he quickly let himself inside. Even as he stepped over the threshold, he realized how unlikely it was that Snape left the cottage completely unguarded. Whatever charm protected it from intruders must somehow have been devised to let him pass.

He walked quietly through the hallway and into the small area that served as a living room, but although the room was still brightly lit, he found no Snape there. Without pausing to think, Lupin went on, stepping into the small bedroom. Severus was sitting at the edge of the bed, hands crossed on his knees, lips turned down in a small frown. Perhaps Draco had brought him bad news.

Dark hawk-like eyes lifted to meet Lupin's own as he walked over to the bed. Greyback, Tonks and all the rest vanished from his mind. He knew that he had some pretext for being here, but he could not recall what it was. The only memories he was able to conjure were of a fifteen year old boy who had looked at him with that same wary, guarded, yet oddly hopeful expression, and a man who had recently invited him to stay after claiming he wanted to be alone. Helplessly Lupin smiled as the creases pulling down Snape's face relaxed. Snape did not even ask what he was doing there, merely lifting an eyebrow in inquiry.

And Lupin did not even greet him by name. In two strides he was at the foot of the bed, pulling Severus up and kissing him. Snape didn't seem surprised by this, but kissed him back hungrily. Moaning as the kiss became more passionate, Lupin began pulling at Snape's robes to get them off him. Just being this close to him made Lupin hard, and the need to be rid of all the tension resurfaced. He needed to be free himself of all the dirtiness that Greyback had rubbed onto him, and he wondered if fucking would be enough of a catharsis, if it would be enough to cleanse him.

He expected Snape to stop him or at least to slow him down, even if he did not demand the control he had had the previous time, but Lupin encountered no resistance, only willing hands that joined in to help remove his own clothes and touch his skin. Snape did not seem to understand that Lupin was dirty; he put his mouth on the throat that Greyback's foul breath had touched and he shifted to let Lupin rub up against him as the fabric between them dropped away. Or maybe Snape did know and chose not to care. _Contaminated._ This was not like touching Tonks with her soft, compliant body. Severus knew exactly what Lupin was, and what it meant, and he wanted it anyway.

Snape's hands and mouth continued to excite him, until Lupin found that he could relax a little, let himself follow his instincts. And his instincts told him to take, to receive -- all that he could get. He moaned again as the last of their clothes were dropped out of the way, leaving them free to move to the bed. Pushing Snape down on it, he followed, lying down on top of him to revel in the feeling of the masculine body under his own.

He wanted in. He wanted to fuck Severus. Groaning, Lupin kissed him again, plunging his tongue into the inviting mouth. Greyback had been surprised to hear how much he liked it on the bottom but right now Lupin wanted what he'd never had from Snape -- to be welcomed inside, to be allowed to possess him. To be trusted. _Do you take him hard?_ Greyback's voice taunted in Lupin's mind. _Is he tight? Do you taste his skin?_ Oh, he wanted to know, and he wanted to taste...

Sliding down, Lupin let his teeth scrape the thin layer of skin over the beating pulse in Severus' throat, then latched his lips to the spot and sucked. He felt fingers knot in his hair, felt the loud groan vibrate beneath his mouth as Severus cried out, but the fingers were keeping him close rather than pulling him away and they urged him down, down, letting him pause to lick the collarbone and then to suck a nipple, but they had no patience when he tried to shift to the other side, urging him lower, past the navel into which he swirled his tongue and the wiry hair that tickled on his face.

Severus finally released Lupin and moaned in pleasure when he reached the cock, pushed back the foreskin and took a long, slow suck of the head, but as soon as the hands were gone from his hair he slid even lower, pushing at Severus' legs until his hips rolled upward. Oh, he was clean: had Snape planned to wait here all night in the hope that Lupin might barge through the door again? How had he failed to recognize the signs of invitation? Or had Snape deliberately made them so subtle that Lupin could not accuse him of encouraging this?

No matter. Lupin _knew_ now, and he could wait no longer to enjoy what was offered. The entrance was there within easy reach of his tongue. Snape groaned again when he licked it, gently at first, teasing and pleasuring the surface, then pressing the tip of his tongue inside, and more and more as the narrow hips rocked. He was moving rhythmically already, and when Lupin replaced his tongue with a finger so that he could sit up, Snape reached out a hand to catch from midair the small vial he had summoned with a silent Accio command.

Neither of them had yet spoken a single word, as if they were under a spell requiring speechlessness, and Lupin had no wish to break it. Greyback had made him speak against his will. Snape permitted him this mute contact, perhaps because it was safer, so that neither of them could give voice to desperation and hunger that would be entirely too dangerous, yet the need and longing was manifest anyway -- perhaps even more so than if they had been less reticent, for in the absence of language they were communicating with touch more directly than ever before.

The potion was thin and slippery, as if there was no liquid between them at all, just an ease of movement as Lupin pressed two fingers into Snape. Even if he was no longer as young as the boy Lupin had conjured in fantasy for Greyback, Snape was tight; his body felt tense and urgent all at once. Bending, Lupin kissed his mouth as he urged him open, swallowing the gasp when his fingers brushed the rounded bulb within. Snape's cock throbbed and twitched up against Lupin's belly and he hesitated, afraid of bringing him over too soon, afraid of hurting him if he tried to enter him before he was fully ready.

Then Severus surged down on his fingers, neck arched back, pulling himself more widely open with his hands on his buttocks. Even the risk of pain was welcome, apparently; perhaps Snape wanted the ache to remember it by the next day. His eyes opened, locked on Lupin's, and their wordless message was unambiguous if garbled, _inside now fuck please me take yes_, and it was enough. Pulling his fingers free, Lupin grabbed his cock, aligned his hips and pushed into that tight heat for which he had been longing.

Oh, perfect...of course it wasn't really, for they were neither of them young and this was not the best position for pressing inside Snape, but Lupin could see the play of expressions across his face as he slid in, discomfort and gratitude and fear and wonder. Just how long had Severus wanted this? Before he knew Lupin was a werewolf, when they were very nearly still children? Or had that discovery aroused his carnality -- was that why he had treated Lupin so cruelly once he knew? It did sometimes, the thought of an ordinary person becoming a growling, pouncing, rutting beast. If Severus had been attracted to the Death Eaters, it wasn't impossible that he had been aroused by a dark creature.

_He smelled like sweat and need_, Lupin heard his own voice telling Greyback, and the older werewolf's insinuations: _I bet you want him craving you...I bet you want him desperate._ Yes, he wanted that, he could not deny it to himself any more than he could hide it from Severus. Lupin was thrusting hard, grunting with every breath, making the old bed creak and strain. He was staring into Snape's eyes and knew that Severus must be able to see everything, the filth of Greyback and the lies about Harry and the truths about Severus himself from then and from now.

It was too much, it was going to make Lupin come and he wasn't ready...he wrapped his hand around Severus' cock, unable to will the control to stroke him as he would have wanted to be stroked, but tugging on him in the rhythm of his own pumping in and out. His mouth descended to find Severus' lips, kissing and sucking and pressing and opening, one of them was crying out, the body beneath him shuddered, hot semen was pouring over his fingers, he tasted something salty-metallic as if Severus was coming in his mouth instead of his hand...his cock pulsed and overflowed as he realized it was blood.

_Maybe he even knows what you are and wants that too..._

"No," Lupin gasped aloud, the first word either he or Snape had spoken, though it was Greyback in his head that he was addressing. He felt Severus go still beneath him, caught between post-orgasmic languor and sudden tension.

"No?"

"Oh God -- your mouth -- you're bleeding." Unable to make his eyes focus, Lupin could not see where he had sunk his teeth into Severus; he swiped furiously at his own face, pulling away, trying to regain control of himself.

Then he felt Severus' fingers at the corner of his mouth, moving very gently, but the touch sent a sharp sting through his lips. "I'm not bleeding; you are," said Severus calmly. "I probably bit you when I started to come."

"No, I did it, I bit you. I knew I was going to do it -- I wanted to taste...Severus, I'm sorry..."

"Lupin, whatever you may have wanted to do, you did not bite me." The fingers stroked up his cheek and came down wet. "What's the matter?"

"What isn't the matter?" He was shaking, still full of adrenaline from sex and the terror of thinking he'd lost control, despite the hand that continued to brush over his face. "I think Tonks may be under the influence of a love potion, or the Imperius curse. Greyback thinks I'm pursuing a child; he demands that I tell him the filthy details." Severus' fingers slowed their movement, settling along his jaw. "The only thing I've wanted for days has been to see you and I could have done to you what Greyback did to Bill."

"But you didn't," said Snape with a trace of exasperation, so familiar a sound that it was comforting. "You could have done to me what Greyback did to Bill Weasley at any time." And it was true. Greyback had proved that a werewolf did not require a full moon to destroy a victim's life. "As you keep announcing to me, you are not like him any more than I am like that brute Amycus."

"I'm a dark creature. You of all people have never let me forget."

With a slight roll of his eyes, Snape turned his arm upward, the red skull garish against his pale skin. It swam blurrily and Lupin blinked, still trying to clear his vision. "Why did you want to see me?" Snape went on. "If there is a love potion, I can produce an antidote. I would need to know if..."

"That's not why. You know why I wanted to see you." The hand slid away from Lupin's head but he caught it in his own. "It's why you charmed the door to let me in."

"I charmed the door in case you had urgent news."

"You didn't ask whether I had urgent news when I walked in. You kissed me."

"You kissed _me_."

"You kissed me back." Snape was making no effort to retrieve his hand. "I'm tired of pretending. I had convinced myself I needed to see you about Tonks -- you were the only one who could help me -- that's why I told myself I was coming here. I forgot it the minute I came through that door."

"Remus..."

"Don't try to...you called me Remus."

"I never call you Remus."

"You just did! You know you did!" There was no retort this time, and Snape was still holding his hand, frowning at him. An absurd sense of happiness welled in Lupin. "And you know you smile. And you know why I'm here. You invited me." Lowering himself to Severus' side, he intertwined their fingers, wrapping his other arm over the warm body. After a few moments he repeated, "You did call me Remus."

"I was trying to get your attention," came the inevitable reply, though Lupin swore that Snape was smiling and he could hear it in his voice. "If Tonks _has_ been compromised, she could be far more dangerous than her attempts to manipulate you. Who..."

"Shut up, Severus. Not now."

"Her Patronus changed. That could be a sign of..."

"I mean it. Shut up."

"The evidence would..."

"I'll kiss you if I have to."

That declaration finally got Snape's attention in turn. "I thought you were afraid of biting me!"

"I am. You should be too. When did you stop being afraid of me?"

"And I thought you didn't want to talk," added Snape in his most famously irritable tone.

"I don't," Lupin agreed. He was grinning broadly. His mouth was sore in the corner when it stretched where Severus had bit him. "Maybe you should kiss me."

"Perhaps I should." Shifting to his side, Snape raised his head on an elbow and looked down at Lupin. His eyes were as dark and wary as ever, yet there was also hope in them, something Lupin had not known how to recognize before.

"I thought about something today," he began haltingly. "When we were younger. When you used to tag along after us. When I thought it was because you suspected what I was. Were you trying to..."

Suddenly and decisively, Severus' mouth swallowed the words. The kiss was prolonged, demanding; before it could finish he caught Lupin's lower lip between his teeth and held it there, not biting, just keeping it still.

No more talking, then. That answered so many questions. Letting out a soft moan, Lupin reached to pull him down.


	7. Exposure

The wolf was sleeping in his bed. Severus Snape thought that that was a line from a Muggle story his father had told him when he was a child, complete with bloody teeth and someone's grandmother being devoured alive. The Muggle tales had always scared Severus much more than the magical stories his mother had told him, for he had associated them with foul breath and the possibility of being beaten if he did or said anything that did not meet with his father's approval.

This wolf, however, no longer frightened him at all, which should have been frightening in itself. Glancing at the scarred face, Snape discovered that Remus Lupin was awake, watching him with half a smile. "What?" he demanded irritably.

"Nothing," said Remus, stretching to cover up his grin. His face was filled with mirth and Snape wondered whether he was about to burst into mad laughter again. It was an annoying habit but preferable to crying, which Snape sometimes overheard Pettigrew doing as he shuffled around his room at Spinner's End. Seeing Snape's suspicious glance, Lupin shifted closer, kissed Snape on the cheek and murmured, "I realized recently that I don't hate you, Severus."

Of all the ridiculous...! "How very kind of you to tell me," said Snape acridly. The werewolf wore an expectant expression, so he added, with a roll of his eyes, "I don't hate you, either."

Lupin smiled again, slowly moving his hand over Snape's arm. "I hoped you'd say that." His eyes grew warm and Snape very nearly read something else in them before Lupin closed them to kiss him.

Was Lupin getting hard again? Indeed he was; his groin pressed against Snape's thigh, pushing him flat. "Remus," Snape tried to say around his mouth. "We were going to discuss Tonks."

"I don't want to talk about her now." Lupin frowned slightly. "Severus, that's the second time you called me Remus."

Snape looked blankly at Lupin, refusing to let anything show on his face. "It seems to be the only way to get your attention."

"You have my attention." The wicked man shifted again, rubbing his prick directly over Snape's, which twitched in response. "My full attention. Do I have yours?"

"You're extremely demanding today." At that Lupin only grinned some more, confirming Snape's suspicion that he actually _enjoyed_ being scolded. "Do I need to restrain you?"

"Do you want to? Because if you do," Lupin's eyes got a mischievous look in them, "I won't stop you." Snape bit his teeth together to hold in the sound that threatened to reveal just how arousing he found the thought. It hadn't been about the danger Lupin might pose to him that time when he had tied him to the bed; he'd known it then and he knew it even more now. He had done it because he found pleasure and excitement in doing so.

And why not, if Lupin had enjoyed it as well? Scowling at Lupin, he allowed a small sigh to escape. "Perhaps I should, so that we can get the serious discussion out of the way. You are trying to distract me, on purpose."

"Of course I am." Lupin's mouth descended and began to tease his ear, opening around it while that shameless tongue traced the whorls and teased the lobe. Impossible man! Snape shivered softly, trying to keep his hips from lifting and grinding him against Lupin's hot prick.

The distraction was, unfortunately, working. "Maybe _you_ are under the Imperius curse," Snape muttered. "_Remus_. If she becomes suspicious, she may have you followed. What happened earlier that made you believe she was not acting on her own?"

At this, Lupin sighed and, to Snape's relief as well as frustration, paused in his attentions. "She seemed convinced that she would die if we stopped being lovers. There are strange changes in her moods...they feel too simple, almost artificial." Snape nodded slowly; that wasn't exactly a description of someone under a curse or love potion, but it certainly was very different from the Tonks who had joined the Order two years previously. "She's like a doll," Lupin continued. "Her responses are dependent on how I wind her up."

"It could be love." Snape had seen love do horrible things to people -- had seen how a kind but strong person had been worn down and died inside, little by little, all in the name of love.

"Is that what you think love is?" There was a peculiar mixture of pity and revulsion in Lupin's expression. "Did your family...?" But then he stopped, apparently seeing something in Snape's eyes that warned him not to pursue that question. "This isn't love. You remember what Nymphadora used to be like?"

"Annoyingly chipper," Snape recalled, frowning, though Lupin nodded eagerly.

"Exactly. Alert, enthusiastic, sensitive to other people's moods. She isn't even clumsy anymore! And you saw her Patronus. As flattering as it would be to believe that she perceives me as a savior, I haven't been. I couldn't protect her at the Ministry of Magic and she had to protect _me_ at Hogwarts. It's like she wants a fairy tale, not real love between real people."

Snape nodded. It was certainly true that there was very little of Tonks now that reminded him of the Tonks who had joined the Order. Her looks, of course...Snape frowned. Her looks? She had departed from the ever-changing faces, the garishly colored hair, the so-called funny noses. And she hadn't knocked anything over in a long time. Love was certainly no cure for faulty dexterity, he thought. Taking all evidence together, looking objectively at them, made a disturbing picture. Who was Tonks?

"I suppose the next question is, why would anyone go to the trouble of making Tonks fall in love with you? Anyone close enough to curse her or keep her under a love potion could likely poison her or incapacitate her in some other manner. It may be you, Lupin, who's the real target."

Lupin did not appear surprised by this revelation, though he shook his head slightly. "It still doesn't make sense. I have no great influence in the Order, nor with Greyback. Tonks has been a distraction but she's much weaker than I am -- Dumbledore told me she had come to see him to make sure I was safe after one of the attacks."

"Attempting to guess at a reason for this may be difficult as long as we don't know who is behind it. Regardless of whom the target is, and why, the fact remains that something is wrong with Tonks, and that is where we should look." Snape thought for a moment. "Perhaps it is only to distract as many as possible in the Order? Or she could have a personal enemy."

"Because of who her parents are, she has many. Both of her pureblood aunts just to start." A Death Eater and the wife of a Death Eater -- Snape knew better than to underestimate Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy. "All right, let's assume that Tonks is being compromised, by parties and for reasons we can't name. What do we do about it? I'm not completely certain that I can convince the other members of the Order. Some of them practically bullied me into dating her. And those who are more paranoid, like Moody, would show no mercy."

"Given how blindly they have acted so far, I would advise against involving them. They would most likely ask her if she is feeling differently and alert her to your suspicions -- and as you say, Moody is unbalanced, particularly with Dumbledore gone." Snape shook his head slightly. "I believe we are on our own in this as well."

"But we need to find out what has been done to her!" exclaimed Lupin in frustration.

"Yes. That is where we have to start. That is where _you_ have to start."

"Just how do you suggest I go about spying on an Auror? It's one thing to lie to Greyback about my whereabouts, but I can't very well follow her into the Ministry of Magic." Lupin stopped and appeared to be considering. "You don't suppose that someone at the Ministry itself is involved? Malfoy wasn't the only Death Eater there. It wouldn't even have to be a Death Eater -- it could just as easily be someone like Dolores Umbridge, who hates metamorphmagi and lycanthropes and anyone else with abilities she can't understand. But either way, I can't interfere with Nymphadora's work. She only ever wants to be alone with me, and when we're alone together I can't see what's been happening to her while I'm with Greyback or here."

Snape sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lupin, I would appreciate it if you stopped pointing out the difficulties, and tried looking at the things we _can_ do instead. We have two or three possible scenarios: a love potion, the Imperius Curse, or a person using Polyjuice Potion." He looked at Lupin again. "Is she drinking regularly when you are in her company for more than a few hours?"

"I don't know...I suppose so, but that's usually because I try to stall her with tea." Lupin flushed faintly, and Snape thought about telling him that he derived no more pleasure from hearing about Lupin's romantic life with Tonks than Lupin felt discussing it. He was more intrigued by what Lupin had told him about Greyback: the disgusting creature believed that Lupin was also pursuing children? Was that because Lupin, too, was a werewolf, or did Greyback simply assume that anyone who worked with children must be a pedophile? What lies had Lupin told him?

With a soft groan, Lupin begged, "Let's leave that problem for a little while." At Snape's questioning gaze, he added, "Logic may not be the best approach to finding a way into it. An inspired insight would be welcome. So let's talk about something else."

Was Lupin trying to distract him again? There was no lascivious grin on his face at the moment, but Snape knew how quickly that could change. His body had not completely forgotten the feel of Lupin's over him a few minutes earlier. "Very well," he said. "You mentioned something about having to construct stories for Greyback. Does he know that you have seen Potter?"

Lupin's gaze flickered for a moment, and Snape thought he could see both unease and embarrassment. The unease he could understand, but the embarrassment? Had Lupin slipped up and admitted something personal -- was that why he kept fleeing Greyback's company? "He knows I have met with Harry in Hogsmeade, and he immediately thought I was taking advantage of him. He was even surprised I like my boys that old. But saying that Harry and I...that we..." Lupin closed his eyes. "I couldn't pretend that. It was making me sick and he would have smelled that on me. So I told him a different story, letting him think I'm speaking of things I do with another boy, a teenager."

"And this is so terrible? Telling him lies?" Snape asked, keeping his voice soft. He was curious to find out what made Lupin so upset. Snape had thought that the werewolf would get used to being among his own kind, but that was clearly not the case.

"It's not all lies, Severus." It was no more than a whisper and Lupin's hand had tightened on Snape's arm. "I tell him personal things, things I remember from when we were at school...and he gets excited by them."

Snape studied Lupin's face while he spoke. The relaxed look from earlier was gone, replaced by disgust and loathing, perhaps directed as much at Lupin himself as at Greyback. These were things that Snape had had to do for years -- giving as much personal detail as possible to make a story plausible, but not enough to fully reveal himself. Like building something out of shadows and splinters, keeping it together by believing that the structure it forms is real...

Had Dumbledore really thought that Lupin would be able to ingratiate himself with Greyback without breaking? This was not like holding up a mask, hiding the condition of lycanthropy at school. "Lupin..." Snape met his gaze when Lupin at last opened his eyes. "Make it less personal when you give him details. If he gets as excited as you say, he'll probably not notice if the stories are basically the same. Make up one scenario and tell it with small variations every time. Describe things you know he will find arousing but mean little to you."

Snape wondered again why he was doing this at all. Helping Lupin, having sex with Lupin, waiting for... No, he had not been waiting for Lupin to show up, because he had had no way of knowing that he would. And the sex was good -- even bottoming to Lupin had been good -- and he had needed it. It was convenient and quite satisfying to have someone intelligent to talk to, or argue with at times.

Lupin nodded slowly. "Thank you, Severus." After a pause he frowned, as if remembering something. "Love potions are all basically the same, aren't they? Pretty much the same ingredients, I mean?"

"To a certain extent."

"Is there some way to disturb the effects of one or two of the most common ingredients, so that it would weaken or rendered harmless?" Lupin looked pleadingly at Snape.

"The most potent love potions require ingredients from the targets for whom they are intended. If I made a love potion to direct your feelings toward me, I would not have to deliver it to you personally; I could, for instance, have Greyback deliver it and it would still cause you to fall in love with me, not him." Lupin's eyes widened, assessing Snape, and he winced at having failed to follow his own advice: this example was far too personal. "If there is a love potion at work on Tonks, it may be possible to lessen its effect by producing a counter-agent. But it may not work very well depending on how soon it can be administered after she is dosed."

"Would someone have had to use my wand, or some strands of my hair? How was she made to fall in love with me instead of whoever made the potion?"

"The maker would have had to get some material from you, yes. Hair, skin, blood...fur. There are many possibilities." Another possibility came into Snape's mind, for he could feel it drying on his skin. "Or semen. One of the reasons having sexual contact with someone has traditionally been associated with putting yourself in that person's power is that it is very easy to obtain material for potions or other dark magical purposes."

Lupin's eyes shifted away. Was he embarrassed at having put himself in Snape's power, or recalling some other compromising situation? Snape was all too aware of his personal interest as he asked, as diplomatically as he could, "Can you think of any situation in which you have placed yourself where you might have allowed someone sufficient contact to harvest such material from you? Greyback, for instance?"

Again revulsion twisted Lupin's features. "How could you think that I would let him touch me like that! I'd force him to kill me before I would let him rape me."

"You were just telling me that he expected pornographic stories from you. I assume that you would do whatever you thought was necessary to protect the children." Lupin was shaking, and Snape wondered whether he had inadvertently stumbled upon the truth or at least one of Lupin's worst fears. For a moment he was angry with Lupin: did the werewolf think that being pawed by another werewolf was as excruciating as being forced to commit murder?

Yet Snape also felt distinct relief that the shame and guilt he had felt cascading from Lupin from the moment he had walked into the cottage did not signify any intimacy between Lupin and Greyback. "I was not suggesting that you would willingly let him touch you," he continued. "We have both been forced to consent to acts that are very much against our wills."

Lupin's face was still distorted with fury and disgust. "I can't do that," he said, half to himself. "I'll destroy everything if he tries to make me. What would you do, if Vold-- if your master asked that of you?"

"He invades my mind every time I see him. It is not enough to convince him that I am willing; I must convince myself, or he will discover the truth in my thoughts." Though Snape intended to state this as a simple fact, he was startled by the loathing in his own voice, and Lupin's expression grew softer, sadder. Reaching out, he gripped Snape's hand. "Beyond the Cruciatus curse, the Dark Lord has never physically violated me, but I cannot imagine that could be worse than having him inside my mind."

"Severus, I'm sorry." Quite suddenly Lupin's arms were around him, an advance for which Snape was unprepared; he found himself responding to the body against him, returning the embrace. "I know, you had to ask. But Tonks is the only one I have even tried with, apart from you, and I've only gotten through that by pretending it _was_ you. With Greyback -- I never touched him -- he wanted to hear about a boy, a description of a boy, so I told him about you, when we were young -- "

So _that_ was what Lupin felt guilty about. Snape could not bear to hear any more. "Enough," he said forcefully, and then, adopting one of Lupin's strategies, he kissed him.

Lupin kissed back eagerly, which made it easier to attribute his own arousal to the enthusiastic response. It shocked Snape to hear that Lupin had pretended to be with him while having sex with someone else. It proved that Lupin would actually much rather be in this situation...how long had Lupin harbored such desires? Since they were in school? Snape pushed the thought away and concentrated on the feel and taste of Lupin's mouth instead. Intoxicating, arousing...

He pressed his cock against Lupin's and moaned. The other man was already hard, returning the pressure and rolling his weight over Snape's to push him flat on the mattress, but when he broke the kiss to breathe, Lupin's head lifted slightly, looking down at him. "You aren't disgusted with me?" he asked softly.

In his frustration Snape very nearly snapped at him. Wasn't Lupin the one who hadn't wanted to talk! "No," he said shortly. "Get back here."

"Severus..." Lupin worked his mouth, trying to say something that Snape was very sure he did not want to hear. He slid a hand over to pinch a nipple. It had the desired effect -ˆ Lupin gasped and seemed to lose his line of thought -- and Snape was not going to let him find it again. Bending his head, he sought out the other nipple, urging Lupin to slide further up against him. The thick cock trailed moisture up Snape's belly as he grazed his teeth over Lupin's chest.

"Don't stop," groaned Lupin, pressing a hand to the back of Snape's head to support it in what was admittedly an awkward position. Carefully Snape bit down on the nipple, teasing the center with his tongue, then sucking it while his fingers continued to roll and pinch the other one. For a minute or so Lupin let him, twitching against Snape's belly as he continued to groan, but then the hand relaxed on the back of his neck and Snape let his head drop back. "Do you like that?" Lupin asked him, giving him an aroused, greedy glance. "Teeth, like that?" Very suddenly he shoved backward, sprawled over Snape and bent his head to his chest.

For a man who had not very long ago been terrified of having bitten Snape, Lupin seemed to have regained his confidence; his teeth dragged along Snape's skin until they latched on and tugged a nipple upward, a feeling that went directly to Snape's groin. With a loud cry he jerked up against the werewolf, feeling Lupin's hairy belly against his prick, a sensation so enticing that he thrust up again and again as Lupin continued to torment him with his teeth.

But the friction alone was not enough, Snape wanted more than to simply rub himself off against Lupin. With his hands on Lupin's shoulders, he pushed him down towards his cock. If Lupin wanted to use his mouth, then Snape was only too happy to provide him with a target.

With a glance upward and a small, wicked smile, Lupin followed Snape's direction, but he placed only the smallest, lightest, cursory licks on the swollen shaft that twitched up toward his lips and then pushed unsubtly at them. Lupin had his tongue hanging lasciviously out of his mouth, which still showed hints of a grin, but he showed no inclination to do more than tease Snape's now very hard prick. "Do you need to be reminded what comes next?" Snape asked in a rather irritated tone.

"I think you do," said Lupin, blowing on the damp cock-head, then sliding lower on the bed and running his tongue over Snape's balls. That felt quite agreeable, and Snape allowed it to continue for a while although he did keep thrusting in the air occasionally to remind Lupin that he had a prick that was being neglected. "Hold still," Lupin warned him, taking a testicle into his mouth and rolling it gently with his tongue.

This made Snape cry out embarrassingly -- he couldn't help it -- and when Lupin moved to do the same with the other, he said, "May I remind you that we don't have all month!"

"I won't transform for days, Severus," Lupin protested mildly, taking a last lick before shoving at Snape's hips. "Up."

Was Lupin expecting to fuck him _again_? Snape was not even recovered from the previous time, his arse feeling sensitive if satisfyingly well-used, and he made a noise of protest as Lupin rolled his bum to expose his hole. "Stay out of there and do something about the rest of me!"

"But I want to kiss you," Lupin objected and then pressed his lips _right there_, without even bothering to clean it of his own semen from not long before. The unexpectedness of it made Snape call out again, clawing at the mattress beneath him, as Lupin made a low humming noise and began to move his mouth over the spot.

It felt shamefully arousing enough to be licked by the man who had dirtied his arse in the first place, but Lupin compounded the matter by making hungry noises and slurping like an animal. Snape's head thrashed on the mattress, and as the tongue slowly penetrated him he thought that he might lose control and scream. It went on and on, Lupin's mouth making warm wet circles that brushed his perineum and across the stretched entrance before letting the tongue slip inside, tease with pressure and withdraw only to do it all again.

"Remus," he wailed helplessly, and felt cool breath on his damp posterior as the monster responded:

"You don't have to beg, Severus." A hand closed over his cock, blessedly stroking it, even though the mouth was back to its previous wickedness, eating him and making feasting sounds. In desperation Snape put his own hand over the fingers and moved them harder, faster, ignoring the soft chuckle against his most intimate spot, even though it vibrated, and Lupin's hair tickled when it brushed his thighs.

He could have stopped it, of course; he could have lifted his head at any time and demanded to fuck Lupin, or insisted that Lupin suck him. Yet he did not. To move would have allowed Lupin an opportunity to speak, perhaps to tell Snape more about the things he had described to Greyback, and worse, it would have given Snape another opportunity to remember the thrill he had felt when Lupin first confessed it, forced him to think about it...Remus fucking Tonks, pretending to be with him, and whispering in Greyback's ear, thinking of him...

With a harsh groan he thrust into their joined hands and spurted onto his own belly, feeling his arse quiver around Lupin's tongue. At least the man was no Legilimens. Thank Merlin for that.

When Lupin had at last withdrawn and lowered Snape's legs to the bed, the werewolf rose on his knees and looked down at Snape's belly. "You're wet," he said unnecessarily, reaching to swipe his fingers through the liquefying white streaks. Shifting closer, he put his hand on his own cock and said, "I'm going to make you wetter."

Even though he had already come twice and it would be several hours before his cock was capable of rousing itself again, Snape quivered at the sight of Lupin rubbing Snape's semen into his skin. The head of his cock flashed in and out of the foreskin as Lupin's hand tightened and he began to stroke it firmly, eyes fixed on Snape's.

"Let me..." Snape started to reach up. Lupin caught his hand, moved it to his cock and wrapped his own fingers around it, those long fingers that Snape had imagined touching him long before he ever experienced it...no, don't think about that, he reminded himself, their gazes were locked now and Lupin was smiling slightly as he moved Snape's hand up and down on himself, his chest heaving as he breathed.

There was no conscious decision to press into his mind -- perhaps merely the thought of Legilimency triggered it -- but effortlessly Snape felt the room distort and there was no resistance as he found himself inside Remus' lust-inflected memories. There was Lupin with Tonks, who kept changing her appearance, wearing the same pleading smile as she took on dozens of shapes and poses. There he was with Black, resisting and yet not, "I don't want a pity fuck, Sirius," painfully aroused and trying not to respond, trying not to push himself into that warm hand. And there was Lupin at fourteen, at Hogwarts, oh and Snape remembered that day too, standing much too close, none of the others nearby for once...

Snape's wandering through Lupin's memories was distracted as Lupin closed his eyes and moaned loudly, his hips jerking. Concentrating on the here and now, Snape watched as Lupin's dark prick shot jet after jet of come over him. He couldn't help but moan as well, the sight would have aroused him if he hadn't already been doubly sated. The hot liquid spattered his belly and spilled over his hand beneath Lupin's, which slowly relaxed its grip, sliding down Snape's forearm as Lupin lowered himself to rest with his head against Snape's shoulder. "You were watching, weren't you," he accused quietly.

"Of course I was."

"I didn't mean our hands. I meant my thoughts. Did you find what you were looking for?" Snape felt his face grow warm, but beyond the arousal he felt fear. Was Lupin angry? What did it mean that he could slip into his mind so effortlessly, and that there had been no attempt at Occlumency? Was Lupin hoping to be able to do the same to him -- were any of his secrets safe?

"I didn't intend to trespass..." Snape began, but let the sentence trail off. He hadn't meant to trespass, no, but he had been wondering what was in Lupin's mind; he had definitely been curious to find out. And what he had seen...had that answered his questions, or had it shown him things that he didn't want to deal with? Things too serious to think about?

"Severus, I'm not accusing you of doing to me what your Lord has been doing to you. I didn't stop you, even though I could feel you entering; I could have broken eye contact much sooner, you know that." Lupin spoke softly, moving a hand to the puddle of semen on Snape's belly and tracing a pattern in the wetness. "What _were_ you looking for?"

"If I told you that I didn't know, would you believe me?"

"Yes, I would." Lupin's head lifted so that he could look at Snape. His fingers kept moving, and Snape recognized the shapes of runes -- Thurisaz, Algiz, Ihwaz, Raidho, all symbols associated with protection -- catching the hand, Snape brought it to his mouth, licking the fingertips as Lupin watched him with a heated, intoxicated expression. "But I think you do know. You could just ask me."

"And if I didn't want to ask?" Snape felt as if he was backed into a corner. Not asking but looking should have been the easy way out. Lupin was not supposed to ask questions about it, especially not in that soft voice. He released Lupin's hand again. "We have skirted the issue several times already, why would I suddenly ask you about it?"

"Because however uncomfortable it might be to talk about, we both know how much more dangerous it is if you feel that you can only trust me by sifting through my thoughts." The soft voice had suddenly acquired a biting edge, and Lupin leaned over to stare at him, settling his weight on an elbow. "I'm not unskilled at Occlumency, you know -- I've had to be able to block out anyone who might have suspected what I was, who would have used my own memories against me. If you pushed me too hard, I might automatically push back, and no matter how talented you are, you might not be able to prevent a few wayward thoughts from escaping. What will you do if I know too much, Severus? Will you have to kill me?"

Snape closed his eyes. Could he kill again, if he was forced to it? Yes. Could he kill Lupin? A coldness grew in his chest. It would be worse than killing Dumbledore, ending the life of someone he...cared about. Looking up at Lupin again, Snape insisted, "You won't know too much. I've been in this game for too long. But I won't enter your mind again like that, which means that we will have to talk, I suppose." He smirked faintly. "Or refrain from wondering."

"Greyback made me realize." Blinking, Snape wondered what that statement had to do with anything they had been discussing, before he understood that Lupin was replying to a question he had still not articulated. "He wanted to talk about boys, and the only experiences I have of teenage boys that way are from when I was one myself. I wanted to make it convincing, so I talked about you. And then I understood that I wasn't inventing. I was remembering. Putting things from the distant past and the recent past together, but all of it was real."

"You spoke of me? In a sexual sense, from when we were both teenagers?" Snape did not understand why the false suggestion both excited and horrified him. "Lupin, we didn't do anything back then, so unless someone has been Obliviating me, you were certainly inventing."

Lupin looked amused. "Not in a sexual sense really...just describing how you used to follow me, trying to get close whenever I was alone. How you used to look at me. But of course, I made it sound as if it was the boy I am supposedly seeing now."

"I didn't...!" But that was a lie and they both knew it now. Looking anywhere but at Lupin, Snape muttered, "I didn't realize." And who else had known -- had Potter, had Black, had Evans? Snape recalled his delight when Lucius Malfoy had explained Occlumency to him, when he believed it would be possible to protect his secrets without any possibility of revelation. Yet somehow Black had always known how to poke at his unhappiest thoughts even without a talent for reading minds, and Snape suspected that Dumbledore, too, had seen everything he tried to hide. "How did I look at you?"

"You always used to watch us...but it felt as if you were watching me, trying to get close when James and Sirius weren't around."

Snape continued to avoid his eyes. "I was young and..."

"And vulnerable," Lupin finished the sentence for him in a different way than Snape expected. _Foolish_ was the word he had been planning to use. Not that _vulnerable_ was particularly an improvement, but Snape elected to ignore that fact.

"I think I felt that you were different in some way, and perhaps I was hoping that you were different in the same way I was."

"That I liked boys?"

"And then I found out, in a rather shocking way, that you were different because you were a werewolf."

"Was that why you didn't talk to me anymore? I always thought it was because I had scared you."

"You did scare me, but the edges of that fear were softened over time. The humiliation of having been wrong about you, however, didn't."

"But at some point you must have realized that you weren't wrong about me." Lupin smiled softly and put his hand on Snape's arm. "I did like boys."

"You liked a boy who tried to kill me! Dumbledore made me swear to keep your secret; Black told me he'd kill me if I ever said a word. I knew he meant it, too -- he'd already tried to kill me, hadn't he? And he was still your best friend."

"He was one of the few friends I had. I was angry with him for what he had done, angry and disappointed, but I didn't dare risk losing him as my friend. He knew what I was and still accepted me...I didn't know that he threatened to kill you."

Lupin had started to move his hand slowly over Snape's arm, and Snape didn't stop him. In a way, the touch was comforting, and it grounded him while they were talking about things that he had tried to bury deeply. "You insisted that what he had done was only a prank. In spite of what could have happened to you -- what do you think the Ministry of Magic would have done if you had so much as scratched me? And Black as well. Potter didn't come out there to save me; he came to protect you and Black. Somehow, in seeing what you were, I became even more of an object of contempt to your friends."

Lupin looked away and stopped moving his hand. "I'm sorry, Severus. I wish I could change what I did or didn't do, but I can't." He moved his hand away with a deep sigh, and Snape felt as if something was missing. He was surprised to find how much he wanted Lupin's hand back on him, touching him.

"It was a long time ago," he heard himself say, startling himself as much as Lupin who jerked his head up to study him. "I hated Pettigrew just as much, you know. And now I cannot escape from him; I have to pretend to be grateful to him for what he has done for us."

Something ugly was smoldering in Lupin's eyes. "We were going to kill him, you know," he murmured. "Sirius and I. At the Shrieking Shack, that night." He did not elaborate but Snape heard all the things that Lupin was not saying: that night when Snape had not believed Lupin or Black about Black's innocence in the Potters' deaths, that night when Black had escaped and Snape, believing Lupin had helped a killer flee from justice, revealed what he was to everyone at Hogwarts. "Harry wouldn't let us. He insisted that without Wormtail there was no proof of Sirius' innocence. We could have stopped him, then."

"When the Dark Lord is done with him, I won't protect him from your wrath... You can have him then, if there's anything left to have." Snape had seen Voldemort dispose of those he no longer had any use for. Perhaps it would be kinder to Wormtail to be handed over to Lupin and the Order; there would be less Crucio and torture by their hands.

Lupin suddenly looked very tired. "When the Dark Lord is done with him, I don't care what happens to him. Or to Greyback, or the Lestranges...if they cease to be of use to him, I don't care where they rot. I just want it all to be over." Sliding his elbow forward, he lay down beside Snape, head once again resting against his shoulder.

"And what do you want when it is all over?" The question was almost rhetorical; Snape did not expect Lupin to have a response. He had long ago ceased to hope that he would survive. If Voldemort did not discover his treachery and kill him, he would likely succumb to a spell from one of his former allies in the Order, or die mysteriously in Azkaban not long after. He hoped he would fall in battle. It would be the least painful of likely outcomes.

Lupin's face was warm against his arm. The werewolf turned his head and kissed Snape's collarbone, then left his face against Snape's skin, muffling his voice when he spoke:

"I want to know what it would be like to do this without being afraid that it will be the last time."

Snape's breath caught. That was a line of thought that he had not allowed himself for a very long time, and here was Lupin, confessing this to be his wish, without shame or guilt. But surely, if they both survived the war, Lupin would move on with his life? He would have no reason to seek him out anymore, and had probably just spoken in general terms, Snape decided.

"I believe that many people have the same wish, Lupin." He pushed down his own response, feeling that it was nothing but sentimentality.

He felt Lupin's head lift, and although he did not allow himself to look down he felt the other man's eyes sweep over his face? "Do you?" Lupin asked him.

Then Snape met the inquisitive gaze, and for a moment his vision went past the surface again, into a jumbled collection of faces and impressions -- Lupin's parents, Black, Evans, Potter -- people he had loved. The images were rushing toward the present...Snape wrenched himself free, although he knew that he had made no effort. He had looked into Lupin's thoughts because Lupin had wanted him to see.

The werewolf was watching him calmly. "Do you?" he asked again. And as Snape watched Lupin's head move up and down in his vision along with the rest of the room, he realized that he was nodding.

"Yes."


	8. Counterpoints

Snape suppressed a small shiver as he put his hand on the handle of the door leading to the room where Lord Voldemort, Dark Lord of the Wizarding World, held court. He'd already prepared himself for this meeting as so many times before, but some days, like today, he carried with him sensitivities that had no place in such a situation. He pushed the emotion down, slammed shut his defenses and hid it in the back of his mind, camouflaging it all under more suitable annoyance, disdain and reverence...not all directed at the same target, of course.

A silent spell made the door fly open and Snape strode up to Voldemort, who sat at the end of the room with perfect view of the entrance. He bent down on one knee when he reached the throne-like chair, his gaze on the floor in front of his Lord's feet.

"Ah..." A sound more than an exclamation, and then Voldemort spoke. "Severus. Punctual as always." He moved his hand to hover in front of Snape's face, and Snape leaned forward obediently to kiss the thin appendage with its long, tapering fingers.

"You called, my Lord." Snape drew back slightly, but didn't rise.

"I did." There was a dry chuckle from the self-proclaimed Lord. "I understand that the work with the werewolves has been successful?"

For a fraction of a second, Snape wondered if Voldemort had found out about his meeting so often and regularly with Lupin, and the prospect was not to his liking. But then he realized that it could just as well relate to the business with Greyback and the Wolfsbane. He raised his gaze to look at Voldemort, once more holding his thoughts in check.

"I believe so, yes. Greyback has not complained about the potion or its effects."

Voldemort nodded slowly, a sly glint in his eyes. "The effects, yes. Could they be altered?"

Snape frowned slightly, pretending to give the problem some thought, though an entirely different question occupied his mind. What was Voldemort after this time? "It would depend in what way you wanted them changed. Wizards laboured for centuries to develop a potion that worked at all. It wouldn't be easily done...perhaps impossible, if the effect is too far from the original."

"Can the werewolves be made to be more docile, easier to control and more accurate as weapons?" Voldemort leaned forward a bit.

"I don't think so, my Lord. They can be docile enough when not transformed if they choose, but it can't be guaranteed. It's all dependent upon the personality of the creature."

Voldemort made a low, impatient hiss. "So a creature like that pet of Dumbledore's would be docile enough as a man, whereas Greyback will always be more difficult to control. Too bad. A band of thugs is always useful, but only if they can be controlled absolutely."

He made a dismissive gesture, and Snape took that as a sign that he could get back to his feet. He refused to react to Lupin being mentioned by Voldemort; he could think about all that was said later. For now, he could only afford to be a most loyal servant. "Surely, my Lord, with the reward of freedom and unhindered raiding, they will do your bidding?"

"And when they have their freedom, what reason have they then to obey?" A cold smile formed on the cruel face and the red of Voldemort's eyes seemed to glow more brightly. "How will Greyback react when I demand his allegiance or refuse to give him everything he wants? Oh, I don't fear the brute," Voldemort said with a derisive snort in response to the look on Snape's face. "But I know that he's dangerous if allowed to run free."

"Yes, my Lord. You are right, of course." Severus nodded. He was somewhat relieved to find the Dark Lord in a contemplative sort of mood; it meant he was less likely to throw Unforgivables around. "I will start working on altering the Wolfsbane. If it is possible to create the effects you want, I will find a way."

"I knew that you would understand what was necessary." The smile that Voldemort turned on Snape held no warmth. "And I'm certain that you will find a way."

Coming from the Dark Lord, those words served less as a compliment than a threat.

 

~*~

"Sir! You have to help me!"

Whirling around, Snape glared at Draco. "I don't 'have to' do anything! How dare you show up here to demand favors!" He was definitely not in the mood for this right now. Draco lowered his eyes and looked at the floor, swallowing audibly. He was very upset, Snape could see, but that didn't excuse his behavior.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to demand anything... I'm just desperate." Draco sighed and his shoulders sagged. "He wants me to kill someone. And I can't! Sir, you know I can't!"

Snape nodded slowly, even though the young man couldn't see it. He knew that Draco was right. He'd seen him try and fail to kill the Headmaster. Voldemort was probably setting Lucius' son up for another disaster. Snape had been able to cover for him the first time...but then, he had been there. He was probably not going to be so lucky this time.

"Did he specifically order you to kill someone? Or did he present you with a problem that might be solved some other way?"

"He was very specific. He said, 'Fenrir Greyback is becoming a liability. His loyalty is to his kind, not to me.' He thinks Greyback will let me get close to him. Sir, if Greyback lets me get close to him, we both know what he'll expect!"

"Maybe that will make it easier for you to do what the Dark Lord asks," Snape muttered, not without some dark amusement. Regardless of his mood, he knew that Draco had been right in the first place: He had to help the boy. Dumbledore had not insisted that Snape prevent Draco from committing murder at such a cost, only to have the youngest Malfoy kill someone else... or, more likely, be turned or mauled to death by a werewolf.

Again, the situation played perfectly to Voldemort's wishes: if Draco succeeded, then the Dark Lord would be free of an unpleasant burden, and if Draco failed, the Death Eaters would only have lost the weakest of their number. Draco shuddered visibly and mumbled, "I don't want to get close to Greyback. He always used to look at me when I was younger and he was visiting Father. He couldn't take his eyes off me...and now Father's in Azkaban."

Snape didn't need Occlumency to see that Draco was afraid of Greyback. This was not a situation that Snape wanted; it complicated matters that he would have to look after Draco again. And Draco close to Greyback also meant Draco close to Lupin...

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "Calm down. I will help you if I can." He tried to think. Could it be to their advantage for Draco to be close to Lupin? It would be simple enough to convince the boy that his onetime Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had divided loyalties; simply because Lupin was a werewolf, Draco would assume that, like Greyback, Lupin's first priority would be protecting his own kind, which would imply no love for the Ministry of Magic. And Lupin had said that Greyback thought he was seeing a boy -- a boy he had not wanted to name.

Glancing appraisingly at Draco, Snape considered that perhaps he had inadvertently discovered the solution to two separate problems. It depended on Lupin's willingness to play along, of course, but Snape suspected that Lupin would rather pretend Draco was the boy he had been molesting than turn Draco over to Greyback's tender mercies. Even though Draco was Lucius Malfoy's son.

"Are you willing to do exactly what I ask of you?" Snape asked. Draco looked apprehensive, but he nodded. "Then right now I want you to stay completely out of sight. Do not attempt to contact anyone. Very shortly, I hope, I will summon you. Malfoy..." Draco bit his lip and straightened. "Remember, if you want my help, you must do exactly as I tell you, whether or not you like the idea."

"I will, sir. I should have listened to you at Hogwarts. If you want me to make an Unbreakable Vow..."

"That will not be necessary!" Snape spoke more sharply than he had meant to. He had known when he agreed to the spell with Narcissa that he was not vowing anything he had not already promised to the Headmaster. "Go."

Once Draco had left, Snape checked to be certain that Pettigrew had remained in his room and had not overheard the conversation before locking himself in his own bedroom. Pulling out his wand, he tried to clear his thoughts -- he would be unable to conjure his Patronus if he dwelled on unpleasant matters. It was a surprise to realize that, rather than being overly concerned at what Draco had just told him, he was excited. He had a perfectly legitimate, necessary reason to be contacting Lupin and he would certainly see him later, though they would likely quarrel. Pacing a bit, he caught his reflection in the small antique mirror and was surprised to find spots of color in his cheeks.

"Expecto patronum!" he hissed. Light erupted from the tip of his wand with an ease he had not experienced since Dumbledore's death.

 

~*~

Snape opened the door to the cottage and entered. The wards he had set were designed to let only one other person in: Lupin. To all others, the door would appear to be locked and stuck. He wasn't sure how long he would have to wait, so he had brought his notes with him. There was no reason to waste the time if he could use it for research. He hadn't yet decided in what way to modify the Wolfsbane potion, but it was such a wonderful opportunity to meddle with it in ways that Voldemort had not foreseen.

At times, Snape had to admit, it was a good thing that the Dark Lord trusted him. No one questioned his regular contact with Draco and no one dared to ask where he went when he could not be found at home or at the Dark Lord's lair. Dumbledore had been right: the appearance of having killed the only wizard Voldemort feared had given him freedom beyond even that which Lucius Malfoy had enjoyed before his fall from grace.

Snape had heard that Bellatrix and some of the others were planning a raid on Azkaban. The Lestranges knew the fortress as few other ever had and understood its vulnerabilities. He had hoped it might be possible to keep Lucius inside a little longer, where he would be safe from both the Death Eaters and his enemies among the Order of the Phoenix. If Snape could use Draco to help bring down Voldemort, he had little doubt that together they could convince the Ministry to pardon Lucius after the war. But if there was to be an attack on the prison by the Death Eaters, Snape knew he had little choice; he had to get to Lucius first.

Though he had spread his parchments on the bed, Snape found that he could not concentrate on potions. When Lupin arrived, he would be sure to ask what Snape was working on, and he needed to decide what to explain first: About Voldemort's scheming to use the werewolves? About Draco's orders and his own plan to put the boy under Lupin's protection? They would surely exchange tense words about both. Perhaps it would be better if things went as they had the last time he had met Lupin here, when they had not exchanged a single word before falling onto this bed like -- like lovers --

_We're not lovers!_ Snape thought fiercely and pulled one of the parchments closer. Frowning, he looked at his list of ingredients again, trying to concentrate on what the effects would be if any were mixed with the Wolfsbane. One would severely weaken the positive effect of the potion; another would, as far as Snape could tell, probably cause hallucinations. Neither of which was what he was looking for.

Suddenly the front door creaked open. Snape looked up and waited. Near-silent footfalls closed on him, and soon Lupin stood in the doorway. Only then did Snape realize that he had been holding his breath.

"You sent for me?" asked Lupin, also sounding rather breathless. His expression was a mixture of apprehension and hope, and Snape realized that he might have given him cause for worry, sending for him so suddenly after repeatedly telling Lupin to contact him only in case of an emergency.

"I need your help," Snape said shortly, beginning to collect his parchments. "It seems that Voldemort has plans for the werewolves. And those plans may not include Greyback. Would you be willing..."

"Anything," Lupin said before he had finished the request, coming over to the bed. "If you're asking for help, from me, I can only imagine how dire the situation must be." By the time Lupin had finished speaking, Snape had risen to his feet, and Lupin closed his hands around his forearms, pulling him close. "I've missed you," he added softly as he leaned in for a kiss.

Snape tensed at first, rigidly moving closer when forced to do so, but then Lupin's lips were on his own and he couldn't remember why he had resisted. Slowly he brought his hand up over Lupin's back, settling into an embrace, and kissed him back.

After a few moments, Lupin released his mouth and tilted his head so that their foreheads were pressing together, giving Snape a blurred view of his bright eyes. "Now, what's happened?" he inquired, stroking up and down Snape's arms. "And what can I do?"

"Voldemort has ordered Draco Malfoy to kill Greyback." As Snape expected, Lupin drew in a sharp breath and lifted his head, his expression caught between shock and a kind of satisfaction. "As much as it might simplify matters for us if he were to succeed, I do not believe that we should let him attempt it."

"No?" asked Lupin softly.

"You know Fenrir better than I do. What will he do to Draco if the boy gets close to him?"

Lupin's arms tightened around Snape. "All right," he said. "How do you propose to keep Draco safe from Greyback without alerting Voldemort to the fact that he is making no effort to complete his task?"

"You will pretend that Draco is the boy you're interested in."

"What?" Snape was prepared for the reaction and held on to Lupin, not letting him move away. "I can't do that!"

"Yes you can. And you have to, because I cannot be there to protect the boy. Dumbledore tried to save him before he died, and I am not going to let his efforts be in vain."

Nodding slowly, Lupin sighed. "You're right, Severus. And I wouldn't want to inflict Greyback's stinking breath on anyone. Not even a Malfoy." He paused, considering. "I could bring Draco to Greyback's pack. Greyback would enjoy that." His lip curled unpleasantly. "It would give the appearance to the Death Eaters that Draco is using me as a means to get to Greyback, and that news will be passed on to Voldemort -- I believe he has more than one spy among the werewolves. But if Voldemort wants Greyback dead...do you have a plan for that, too, Severus? Are you asking me...?"

Lupin's voice trailed off as Snape studied him. He suspected that Lupin would very much welcome an opportunity to attack the most vicious of werewolves, which was precisely Snape's reason for wishing to prevent it. Lupin's dislike of Greyback was too intense, too personal; it could make him reckless.

"No," Snape said firmly, shaking his head. "I believe we have some time before Voldemort will expect results from Draco. It took him nearly a year to come close to killing Dumbledore. I have another, more pressing, matter with which I believe you can assist me; and if all goes well, we may be able to neutralize Greyback and thwart the Dark Lord at the same time. He wants a docile werewolf army, and he wants me to find a way to modify the Wolfsbane potion to create it."

"Modify it?" Lupin looked interested. "But the Wolfsbane itself makes the werewolf...well, docile."

"Only when the werewolf is under the influence of it. The Dark Lord would like to see those like Greyback docile and easily controlled at all times," Snape replied with a slight smirk. "He wants to drug them, and if we can, we will turn his plan against him. Now we have to find a way to make it look as if the Dark Lord's orders are being carried out, yet turn it to our advantage." Personally, Snape wouldn't have minded poisoning them all -- except Lupin, of course -- but it would have been too obvious that he was behind it.

"Surely Voldemort realizes that you will have to test any potion you create," said Lupin thoughtfully. "If you arranged to test it on Greyback..."

"I can hardly ask for the most infamous werewolf in Britain to serve as my test subject, especially if he might accidentally expire in my care," insisted Snape. "But I might be permitted to test it on you." For a split second Snape saw suspicion in Lupin's eyes before the gaze turned cool, assessing him. "I've made Wolfsbane potion for you before, Lupin; Greyback knows it and the Dark Lord knows it. It is presumed both that I know your physiology and that you and I dislike each other."

"And then we'd have an excuse to see one another." Lupin had begun to nod slowly, and now he was smiling.

"Socializing wasn't my primary..."

"Shut up." Very suddenly, Lupin's mouth was on Snape's again. "I think it's an excellent plan, Severus." Partly, Snape felt good to be receiving praise for his plan, and partly, Snape felt good just because Lupin's body was close to his own. With the most pressing business out of the way, perhaps they deserved some kind of reward, he thought and deepened the kiss, his tongue finding its way between Lupin's parted lips.

Lupin made a pleased noise, humming and sucking on the tongue as his hands moved lower, grasping Snape's buttocks and pulling his lower body forward until they were rubbing against one another. Snape greatly enjoyed the feeling of Lupin hardening against him; it was like a promise of things to come, and an assurance that, no matter the difficulties of their respective positions, he was still desired.

"Let me move my notes," he murmured, reaching to push the parchments aside. The stack slid to the floor in a messy pile as Lupin bent over him, pressing him back onto the bed. "Impatient?" Snape asked him with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yes," Lupin chuckled throatily. "I'm never sure if you...oh, never mind." The warm torso pressed over Snape, pushing him flat on the mattress before Lupin rolled to the side, taking Snape with him. Lips against Snape's ear, he growled softly.

 

~*~

"What's _he_ doing here?" Draco hissed to Snape as he was led toward the table where Lupin sat drinking tea. His clothes had been straightened and his hair combed, but to Snape, Lupin still looked flushed and content. He wondered whether Draco would notice. It would be a complication if the boy discovered his liaison with Lupin, particularly given what Snape had summoned Draco to tell him.

"I'm sure you remember Professor Lupin," announced Snape, ignoring Draco's whisper and emphasizing Lupin's former title, hoping that Draco would hear the warning in his voice.

"Of course I remember." Draco sounded irritated. "Just didn't think he was particularly a friend of yours."

"Does it matter whether or not I am?" Lupin asked before Snape could reply. "Professor Snape tells me that you have a problem with Fenrir Greyback. So do I. Severus seems to believe that we can help each other."

Draco glared at Lupin, a look of disdain on his face. "Who said I want your help?"

"I did, as Lupin informed you." Snape pushed Draco down on a chair and remained standing himself, crossing his arms over his chest and giving Draco the well-practiced teacher's look. "You do remember that you promised to do whatever I told you?"

Draco nodded sullenly and a deflated look came over him. "Yes," he mumbled and distractedly pulled at a loose thread on his sleeve, winding it around his finger.

"I can assure you that whatever differences Lupin and I may have had in the past, we share a common loathing for Greyback." Snape exchanged a glance with Lupin as he pulled back a chair and sat. They had agreed in broad terms what they would say to Draco, but they had not discussed the details, and Snape wanted to be certain that their stories would mesh.

"He made me what I am, Draco," Lupin said quietly. "He is the reason that the Ministry has passed restriction after restriction, preventing werewolves from holding jobs, forcing us to reveal our condition...and he is personally responsible for turning dozens of children. Severus tells me that not even the Dark Lord trusts him. No matter the reasons -- it will be to everyone's advantage if Greyback is no longer a threat."

While Lupin talked, Draco had shifted his gaze from Lupin's face to Snape's and back. Now he asked in a rather mocking voice, "Are you hoping to take his place with the Dark Lord once he's gone? Because I can..."

"Please listen instead of interrupting," barked Snape. "You are very fortunate in that Lupin can come and go as he pleases among the werewolves. Being seen with you may even make that easier -- it's known that your father is a Death Eater and that Greyback is a longtime...associate of his. As for you, being seen with Lupin will prevent those like Greyback from sinking their teeth into you the moment you approach them."

Draco shuddered visibly at that, and Snape could see the fear he had shown earlier back in his eyes. The mockery and snide remarks were simply something that the young Malfoy was hiding behind, not wanting his insecurity and trepidation known.

"With Lupin, you can get close to Greyback with a minimum of danger. He will get used to your presence so that you can study him, and the Dark Lord will see that you are working on carrying out his wishes..." Snape held up a hand to stop Draco from interrupting again. "I know that you don't want to kill. If you do as we say, you won't have to." Draco nodded slowly, and Snape added, "This means following Professor Lupin's orders too. When you're there, you will have to rely on his cunning and experience."

Grudgingly, Draco nodded, glancing at Lupin, who looked uncomfortable; he uncrossed and recrossed his legs before leaning forward, folding his hands on the tabletop. With the briefest of glances at Snape, Lupin said, "Why don't you tell me what you know about Fenrir Greyback."

"He's a monster," spat Draco instantly. "He may wear Death Eater robes but he's only out to help himself. He attacks even when the moon isn't full, he can cause permanent damage, and his favorite prey is children."

"Boys," Lupin nodded. "Being Lucius Malfoy's son will not protect you from his interest. If anything, it may encourage Greyback...when your father is free, he may once again be in a position to influence the Ministry, and having a son who is a werewolf would be a very compelling reason for him to support changes in their policies toward Dark creatures."

Again Draco shuddered while Snape nodded fractionally to Lupin. That had been very well played, saying "when" instead of "if" so far as Lucius' release was concerned, and suggesting that Draco might become a liability to his family once again. Privately Snape wondered whether the Malfoys would disown a child who was a werewolf; most purebloods would, but he suspected that Lucius and Narcissa's loyalty to their kin ran even deeper. Snape was certain that Lucius had been no happier at Voldemort's return than himself. He had not said so to Lupin, but making an ally of Draco would earn him Lucius' loyalty, no matter how resentful it might be.

"So... what do I do?" Draco asked.

"I will meet you at a secluded place some distance from the pack's lair," Lupin replied. "I'll make sure that Greyback will see us together, and I will introduce you as my boy."

Draco gaped at him. "Your _boy_? Like...you're using me like he..."

"Like he uses boys, yes." Lupin couldn't completely hide his own aversion at that thought, though considering the present circumstances, that was probably just as well, thought Snape. "He won't suspect that it's not true. I have no intention of touching you in that way, though some performances may be unavoidable if he gets suspicious."

"I'm sure you'll survive a hug or two, Draco," said Snape when Draco looked as if he was going to protest. "Lupin is offering you access to the werewolves, a chance to observe Greyback up close, and most importantly a means to look as though you're carrying out the Dark Lord's orders without putting yourself in danger."

"And when Lupin kills Greyback instead of me doing it, then what?" asked Draco rather sullenly. "How do you know he won't do what he likes with me, or set the other werewolves on me?"

"Because I am not like Greyback," replied Lupin in a low, dangerous tone before Snape could raise his voice to Draco. "Nor am I like you. I would not follow the Dark Lord to save myself or my family; I would not take the Dark Mark if it could cure my lycanthropy." Snape had never heard such loathing from Lupin before, and it chilled him, as it seemed to do to Draco. How much did Lupin hate him for what he was? "I will keep you safe, Draco, because Severus asked for my help, and because it is what Albus Dumbledore would have wanted."

"Then you would keep your hands off me because I'm a Death Eater, not because I'm a boy?" Draco sneered and then looked back at Snape, a mix of emotions reflected in his eyes.

Snape looked darkly at Draco and kept his gaze locked on him until the boy looked away, avoiding the challenge. "Do you have a better plan, Mr. Malfoy?" he asked sarcastically. "No? Then I suggest that you forget these speculative suspicions and work on a friendlier attitude towards Lupin that will convince Greyback that you are, in fact, his young companion."

"There are other things at stake here than your sensitivities," added Lupin, and Snape was relieved to see that he chose to ignore the insult. "Either you will cooperate, and we will help you escape the task the Dark Lord has set you, or you're on your own."

The thread that Draco had been twisting around his finger had by now turned the fingertip white and the boy appeared to be struggling to unwind it. Pulling out his wand, Snape made it uncoil with a nonverbal spell, and Draco glanced up with embarrassment on his face. "I'll do what you say," he agreed, sounding cross and a bit defiant. "If any of my friends hear about this, though..."

"Which would be more shameful: a rumor that one is the lover of a werewolf, or the incontrovertible fact of having failed the Dark Lord and brought his wrath upon one's entire family?" Looking slightly ill, Draco nodded his understanding. "Here is what I want you to do. Send a message to your father in Azkaban. It will certainly be read by both the Ministry and the Dark Lord's spies before it ever reaches him. Tell him that you have an important new task and that you expect to see him soon."

"But...won't the Ministry hunt even harder for me if I do that?"

"It will not occur to those hidebound wizards in the Ministry that a Malfoy might be hiding with the werewolves. What is important is that they will double their surveillance of your mother. The Dark Lord has been using you to punish your parents; I think it very probable that he may try to use her to hasten your task. She will be safer with Aurors watching her."

"But my father...I don't want to lie to him."

"It is not a lie. I intend to free your father from Azkaban. I intend for you to help me."

Lupin was staring at Snape now with an expression of dismay, but Draco's entire countenance had changed. "Sir!" he exclaimed. "I will do _anything_...I'll do what you ask. Exactly what you ask. Professor...I had better call you Remus, hadn't I, if we're going to pretend that I'm your lover? Just tell me where you want me to be..."

The change was astonishing; Snape was very nearly taken aback at how easily the word _lover_ fell from Draco's lips. "Enough," he commanded, gesturing to Draco to indicate that he should follow him. "Lupin will contact you very soon."

 

~*~

Once Draco had gone, Snape returned to the table to find Lupin swirling the dregs in his teacup, frowning down at them with a displeased expression. "You shouldn't have lied to him, Severus," he insisted. "He would have gone along with us. You didn't have to say that you intend to break Lucius Malfoy out of Azkaban..."

"I do intend to break Lucius Malfoy out of Azkaban."

Lupin narrowed his eyes and stiffened. "You intend to...Severus!" The cup narrowly missed the saucer when he banged it on the table. "What's got into you? You can't -- " He paused for a moment before continuing, somewhat calmer. "So that's what all of this has been about?"

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about? Lucius Malfoy can help us find the Dark Lord's weaknesses."

"Oh, of course. Your old lover...he would know them, wouldn't he? Being Voldemort's closest man!" Lupin snarled. "You've planned to break him out all along, haven't you?"

Snape stared at Lupin, taken aback by the sudden outburst. "What if I have?" he demanded. "As we both just explained to Draco, mutual affection is not necessary to bring down a common enemy. No matter what he has supported at the Ministry, Malfoy has been willing to cooperate with Greyback to protect his own -- if he will work with a werewolf, don't tell me that you're going to refuse to work with a Death Eater."

"It's hardly a fair comparison and he isn't just any Death Eater! He's the reason Dolores Umbridge has been able to pass every bit of anti-werewolf legislation she's proposed. You _know_ what he was doing in the Ministry the night Sirius was murdered..."

"How many children died that night, Lupin? None? Does it seem at all peculiar to you that Malfoy managed to bungle the task? And now, after Voldemort has twice placed his son in harm's way, do you believe that Malfoy will simply return to his service and make whatever sacrifices are demanded? More to the point, do you trust my judgment so very little, after everything you have learned?"

"Your judgment! Where Lucius Malfoy is concerned? Which of your senses are you thinking with?"

Understanding hovered at the edge of Snape's consciousness, suspicion that he didn't quite wish to have confirmed, and yet he needed to know. "Lupin, are you...jealous?"

"If that's what you think I'm upset about, I think it's quite clear that your judgment is seriously impaired!" They glared at one another across the table. Lupin's head was tilted defiantly, his mouth already open with another retort, but it was never spoken. Instead his shoulders sagged and his head turned, letting him look past Snape toward the bedroom. "What if I was?" he asked.

"Then I would tell you that you were a fool," Snape said wearily.

"A fool?" Lupin didn't look back at Snape. "Why? You two are longtime friends...longtime lovers, yes? He has money and power, a kind of decadent flair, and he's not a werewolf. A careless bite from him won't contaminate you. How can I compete with that, Severus?" He sounded sad and tired, not at all like he had as they got dressed just before Draco showed up.

Snape took a swallow of cold tea to avoid having to speak for a few moments. Practical responses had sprung immediately to mind -- _he has money, yes, which he spends on frivolous things, and in case you had failed to notice, he has a wife_ \-- but they only addressed the most superficial aspects of what Lupin had just expressed. "You _are_ a fool," he replied, watching Lupin's hands on his teacup rather than looking at his face. "Do you believe that, after what I did at Hogwarts, I would plot a raid on Azkaban for my own gratification?"

Lupin looked startled, then ashamed. "No, of course not," he sighed, putting the teacup down more gently.

"This has nothing to do with my past association with Malfoy. Do you not agree that mustering our allies to prevent the Dark Lord from gaining any more power is the only thing that really matters?"

"You're right. It would be very foolish of me to allow my personal feelings to hold any sway." Lupin paused, looking unhappy. "But certain facts remain. Malfoy is still a marked Death Eater. We don't know which side he'll choose -- even if you're right that he has no love for Voldemort, he won't risk his family if he thinks Voldemort likely to succeed. You can't be certain that saving his son will be enough to turn him. The mere fact that I'm a werewolf might be reason enough for him to rationalize that he owes me nothing. And...Severus, if he will not turn, he will try to keep you with him, with the Death Eaters."

While Lupin was speaking, Snape had carefully unfastened the buttons of one sleeve. Now he pushed it up his forearm, exposing the ugly brand upon his skin there. "I followed Malfoy once," he said, placing his arm on the table where Lupin couldn't help but see the Dark Mark. "He required no careless bite to contaminate me. Do you believe _me_ to be such a fool that you think I would make the same choices again?"

Lupin sighed again. "No...Severus, I don't believe you're a fool at all. I have a great deal of confidence in your strategic thinking and your cunning."

Snape nodded slowly. "Thank you. I will need that confidence later...and so will Draco. Try to forget that he's a Malfoy for now. He's a frightened young man who is being used as a pawn by the Dark Lord. Keep him safe, Remus."

Snape didn’t notice that he used his lover's first name. He was distracted, for whatever confidence Lupin might have in his cleverness, it clearly did not extend to his loyalties. Lupin noticed the name, however, and the long look he gave Snape made him realize belatedly how he had addressed him. "You know that I will try to keep him safe," Lupin said. "I don't care that he's a Malfoy...his father's crimes are not his own. But they are crimes, Severus..."

"I uttered an Unforgivable Curse within the hearing of several Death Eaters and a student," interrupted Snape. "I am not in a position to judge Malfoy. If he will help us, his past guilt is irrelevant, and if he will not...I have already taken a life more worthy than his." He paused, his chest heavy with regret, and added, "Our paths diverged long before the Dark Lord returned. He did matter a great deal to me. But I have been lying to him by omission for many years. I had not seen so clearly...whatever was between us is in the past."

"And I should know better than to hold your past against you when you don't hold mine against me," Lupin said in an apologetic voice. He placed his hand on Snape's, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

As Snape looked at their hands, a feeling resembling the one he'd had when conjuring his Patronus filled him. "It's war," he said simply. "We have all done terrible things in the name of what we believe. History is always written by the victors."

"That being the case," Lupin smiled, "we will just have to make sure that we're among them."


	9. Performances

Lupin had made sure that he had been seen as he left the lair. He'd tried to act as if he wanted to be certain he wasn't followed, sneaking off when most -- but not all -- of the pack was asleep. Arriving at the small cluster of trees where he'd told Draco to wait for him, he slowly looked around.

"Draco?" He kept his voice low, hoping that the boy could hear him and that he wasn't late. A small sigh of relief escaped him as he saw blond hair move behind the branches, and then Draco stepped out. Lupin closed the distance between them and pulled him into a hug.

"We're being watched," he whispered quietly into Draco's ear.

Draco had stiffly allowed himself to be embraced, but now he made an effort to relax and wrapped his own arms around Lupin. "I'll remember that," was the reply, and Lupin felt a subtle shift in Draco's posture as the young man became more open and inviting in his body language.

It was almost unnerving, thought Lupin, but it would certainly be needed if they were going to pull this off. It wouldn't do if Draco seemed repulsed by him. "Laugh, as if I'm saying naughty things to you," he murmured and Draco obeyed at once, letting out a low, wicked chuckle. "Severus is working on a plan to free your father." To this, he received a heartfelt moan of pleasure, as he had hoped he might. "He wants to be certain that the Dark Lord will not suspect you. When the time comes, it must appear that you are with me."

"I understand," breathed Draco, who then giggled rather giddily just as Lupin heard footsteps among the trees. He felt the younger man tense and sprang away from him guiltily just as Greyback moved close enough to be seen in the light of the crescent moon. Draco stepped quickly behind a tree, but not quickly enough to hide the gleam of moonlight on his fair hair.

"Malfoy's son?" the older werewolf asked incredulously, though Lupin thought he sounded impressed. "That's your boy, Lupin?"

"I'm nobody's boy!" Draco announced, stepping forward and making a show of straightening his clothing. "We were just talking..."

But Greyback was already laughing -- a harsh, ugly sound. "To think I kept away from you because of your father. If I'd known you had a taste for werewolf cock..."

"No!" growled Lupin. "This one is mine. I've already claimed him."

"Claimed him, have you Lupin?" Greyback licked his lips obscenely. "Have you rammed your cock down his throat? Fucked his tight little aristocratic arse until he screamed? Have you drenched him in come and marked him as yours?"

With effort, Lupin managed to keep his revulsion at bay and put his arm around Draco's waist, pulling him close as if to protect what was his. Could Greyback ever be anything but crude and disgusting, he wondered. "He's mine, and what I've done or haven't done with him is none of your business."

"No? Well don't let me interrupt you." Greyback laughed again. "I can just stand over here and watch you..."

Lupin felt Draco tremble, no doubt from fear, but he had no intention of getting them into that kind of situation. He wouldn't have done it even if Draco had been his boy. "I don't think so, Fenrir. I prefer to keep things private; you know that. I'm not giving shows."

"But you've already told me so much about him." Greyback was leering at Draco, who pressed closer to Lupin -- less, Lupin suspected, to make the performance convincing than out of a genuine desire to be protected from the other werewolf. "Does he know how you brag, Lupin? Oh, he told me how you pursued him..." Lupin could feel Draco's surprise in the sudden tension of his shoulders. "Fifteen, the first time? Does your father know what a little slut you are?"

"My father..." began Draco furiously, falling silent only when Lupin dug his fingers into Draco's skin. "Like Remus said. It's not your business."

Greyback smiled nastily. "Everything that goes on in my pack is my business, boy," he announced. "Lupin's part of that. How do you think I knew he was seeing someone? You're still young. You may think you want this..." A jerking, dismissive shrug indicated Lupin. "But you've got stronger blood than that. When you want a taste of what you've never had, you'll come to me."

Draco moved even closer to Lupin at that, turning into his embrace and leaning his head against Lupin's shoulder, and Greyback grinned at Lupin at the obvious show of preference. "Can we go somewhere else, Remus?" Draco asked, loud enough for Greyback to hear it too.

"He's hot for you now, Lupin," Greyback barked another laugh. "I think the pup got excited by the thought of being claimed again."

Lupin didn't reply, couldn't reply, because he wasn't sure he could keep his calm if he did. Instead he nodded at Draco and pulled him with him as he turned onto the overgrown path and away from Greyback and the pack's hideout. The necessary introduction was over with; now he needed to get Draco safely out of harm's way for the moment.

~*~

"...and then he said, 'I think the pup got excited at the thought of being claimed again." Lupin was fuming as he paced, aware that Snape was watching him with a bemused expression but unable to calm himself enough to sit down. "I thought that Draco was going to pull out his wand and curse him. In another week, convincing Voldemort that Draco's trying to kill Greyback may not be a problem. It will be more difficult to stop him from trying it."

"It sounds," Snape said in a low voice, "as if things are going well."

Lupin stared, then burst out laughing. "I suppose you could put it that way," he agreed. "Greyback has no doubt that I make Draco...I can't even say what he thinks I make Draco do. Meanwhile Draco is quite devoted to me in the presence of other werewolves. And I've made certain that he's been seen with me -- someone is sure to have told Voldemort by now."

"Which makes the Dark Lord turn his attention in a different direction for a little while." Snape nodded. That would give Draco some time. "Unfortunately, that direction may well be the modification of the Wolfsbane."

Lupin nodded, looking considerably calmer than just a moment ago. It seemed as if the laugh had broken the mood. "So you think we should get started on that."

"It would be a good idea," replied Snape and picked up an empty vial, studying it for a moment as if visualizing the contents he wanted inside it. "I did tell the Dark Lord that it might be impossible to get the effect he wants, so I think he's prepared to give me some time to work on it."

"And what effect are _we_ looking for?" Lupin asked.

"There are several possibilities I think I can manage," Snape told him. "I am certain it will be possible to modify the Wolfsbane so that, instead of mere docility and a sedative effect, it will cause full unconsciousness -- at the full moon, Greyback's army will be immobilized, no matter what plans Voldemort might have had for the werewolves."

Lupin frowned. "I'd rather use that as a last resort, only if we believe an attack is imminent," he said. "I'm not happy with the idea of giving any potion to a werewolf without fully disclosing the effects, and that one would leave the entire pack vulnerable. The Death Eaters or the Ministry could do whatever they wanted to them."

"I thought you might say that," Snape frowned, and was startled at Lupin's sudden smile. Should he not have admitted to knowing Lupin so well? "I also believe it will be possible to modify the Wolfsbane to make attacks like Greyback's upon Bill Weasley impossible. It will separate the man from the wolf more completely, if you will."

"I like that," said Lupin and nodded. "Because that is one of the truly horrible things about Greyback. That he thrives on mutilating people..." Slowly, he turned to face Snape. "Would that make it impossible for me to accidentally infect you?" There was a hopeful note in his voice.

"I've already told you that I don't believe you can accidentally infect me," Snape insisted. "If every werewolf who accidentally scratched or bit a wizard did permanent damage, there would be thousands of reports of such incidents, whereas you told me yourself that you think Greyback's ability to attack when the moon is not full may be unique." Since that afternoon when he feared that he had bitten Snape, Lupin had been uncharacteristically cautious during sex, which Snape found rather disappointing. He missed the ferocity with which Lupin had overcome him on previous occasions. "You're being absurd about this -- even if you assault me with intent, it is extremely unlikely that you could injure me beyond what any ordinary man could do with his teeth and nails."

Lupin smiled a little tensely. "If I am being absurd, it's because I...care. It's not as though we can experiment with it, and if it turns out that you're wrong, we just turn back time and everything will be fine." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he sat down. "I miss it though...allowing myself to be caught up in the moment."

"Then perhaps you will stop being so cautious from now on." Snape put the vial down and began shredding roots.

Lupin watched Snape's hands as he worked, then came over and put his own hand over one of them, pushing it down to the table and forcing Snape to drop the roots. "You're unhappy with me," he said.

"I'm unhappy with the situation." Snape was torn between wanting to keep working, to ask about werewolf metabolism and possibilities for the Wolfsbane, and to push it all aside in the hope of being taken over the edge of the table.

Lupin nodded. "When I am cautious, it makes you cautious as well, thinking too much." It wasn't a question, and Snape hoped that the heat on his cheeks was not a blush. "It's easier for you to let yourself go when I do, isn't that so?"

Snape dropped the knife as Lupin stepped close and pressed his body against Snape's side. "Isn't it so?" Lupin asked again, murmuring against his ear. He couldn't help groaning, shifting his hips against the table, rubbing back against Lupin who took the invitation and put his hands on either side of Snape's body, pressing him down. "And you accuse me of being impatient," he whispered. "I know what you want."

The vial fell to the floor with a crash but Snape couldn't be bothered to care; he had other vials and plenty of time to work on the potion later. Instead he groaned, pushing back more aggressively against Lupin who thrust his hips forward to press Snape onto the tabletop, making the roots scatter over the floor as well. He wondered whether the pungent roots had muddled his mind -- how else to explain why he was encouraging a werewolf to be rough with him? It was possible that Lupin was right, that infection was easier than they had previously suspected, or perhaps something was changing in the werewolves in response to Voldemort's return, making violence like Greyback's possible.

Yet any fear Snape might have felt was channeled into lust. When Lupin leaned over him and kissed the skin of his neck, he moaned; when Lupin let his teeth graze the spot, he groaned, and when Lupin finally bit him, he gasped. "Remus!" He could feel Lupin's erection pressed against him, close enough to entice and make promises, but frustratingly separated from him by several layers of clothing.

Yet he was in no position to do anything about that, except to grind back against it. Lupin detached his teeth, only to bite down on another spot closer to the collar of Snape's robes, making him wish he had mastered the non-verbal spells to make clothing disappear that so many students practiced in hopeful anticipation of a moment like this one. A pair of strong arms closed around Snape and the hands met in the middle, beginning the long process of unbuttoning and unfastening while he swayed and bucked back. "Can't you hurry!"

He was shoved forward against the table, propelled flat by a thrust of Lupin's hips. "Can't you be patient?" the warm voice taunted in his ear.

Patient? When all he wanted was to feel Lupin's naked body against his own, licking and teasing and stroking? When his entire body vibrated with the need to feel his lover inside him? Snape moaned, feeling his cheeks heat at the thought. But he couldn't deny it. He wanted to be taken, just like he wanted Lupin to stop being so bloody cautious.

"No...I can't," he snapped and tried to help Lupin with the buttons of his robe. He was pulled up against Lupin's body and turned around to kiss him as they both fumbled with the last of the fastenings. The robe parted and Snape leaned his head against Lupin's shoulder while caressing fingers found their way to his skin. The shirt was soon dealt with and Snape found himself pushed backward onto the table, his clothes pulled off him.

"Spread out," growled Lupin, lifting Snape's legs up and apart. Though he had tossed his outer robe aside, Lupin still had most of his clothes on, and Snape couldn't help feeling a tremor of embarrassment as he was scrutinized. Pulling out his wand, Lupin uttered a cleaning charm and bent over, working his way up the inside of one of Snape's thighs with sharp little bites that made Snape cry out helplessly.

When Lupin reached Snape's balls, he said, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to tie you to the table." Before Snape could object, thin cords had shot out of Lupin's wand, binding his chest and arms firmly against the flat surface. "Remus..." he had started to protest when he felt his body tugged upward suddenly, as if an invisible hook was pulling him toward the ceiling by his ankles. The ropes around his torso held him down on the table, but his legs were stretched in the air, lifting and exposing his bottom in a position he never could have sustained.

"'Levicorpus' is useful for so many things," Lupin smiled, bending over again.

The teasing tongue that snaked its way over his balls, then his perineum, sent shiver through Snape. He was already achingly hard, but so far Lupin hadn't touched him, apart from his balls...in fact, he willfully avoided his cock. It was frustrating, but a part of Snape enjoyed the feeling of being completely helpless with this one person whom he had to admit that he trusted.

He pulled at the ropes as Lupin pulled his arse cheeks apart and buried his face between them, flicking his tongue over the sensitive hole. Hot and wet, the tip teased around the rim, pushing lightly at the center and then Lupin laved over the arsehole with the flat of his tongue. Snape couldn't lie still at this, and at every moment, he was aware of being at the mercy of his lover.

"I think you liked that, Severus," murmured Lupin and did it again, this time drawing a wail from Snape, who bit his lip, afraid that he was about to beg for more. The cords allowed him little room to struggle and his legs hung suspended and immobile, making it impossible even to close his thighs around Lupin's head. After a few more licks, which made Snape think that he would surely cry for mercy if it went on any longer, Lupin finally pressed his tongue against the hole, sliding it inside and wiggling it before withdrawing.

At that, Snape did make a noise of protest. "You're not stopping...!"

"You want more?" Again Lupin's tongue entered him, stabbing forward, then thrusting in and out while Snape shuddered and groaned. "Not quite enough, is it?" Rising, he bent over to bite at one of Snape's nipples while pushing a finger inside him. It wasn't as wide as Lupin's tongue, but its reach was deeper, and it expertly stroked the sensitive bulb inside.

"Ah!" All coherency seemed to have fled Snape and all he could do was moan while Lupin practically tortured him with pleasure. It was intense, and several times Snape thought that he was going to come, but every time, Lupin stopped and worked on relaxing the muscle at the entrance instead. Snape didn't notice when he added a second finger, nor where he got the lubrication from, busy enjoying what he was given.

But in the end, he couldn't hold back the pleas for more. "Fuck me! Oh Merlin! Lupin...please! You're driving me crazy!"

"It's 'Lupin' now, is it?" his tormentor asked, scissoring his fingers and making Snape choke out a moan. "Did you just beg me to fuck you?"

"I...asked politely."

"I think you begged." Another finger pressed in with the first two. "Do you think you're ready? I'm not in the mood for holding back."

"Then stop talking and fuck me for Merlin's sake!" Snape let his head fall back against the table, where it made a satisfying if dizzying thud. "Remus!"

The fingers withdrew, and even though Snape longed for what would come, he made a disgruntled sound at the loss. Soon enough, he felt the thick head of Lupin's cock press against his hole and slide into him, accompanied by a low growl from above. It sent a shiver through Snape; never had he felt so completely helpless, yet still not worried or afraid about the fact. It was an experience that he quite liked.

But as Lupin had said, he was in no mood to hold back, and Snape groaned at the burn when the cock slammed home, deep into him. "Fuck!"

"That was the general idea I think," Lupin whispered in a tense voice as he began thrusting. He wrapped his fingers for leverage through the cords binding Snape to the table, pushing in and out mercilessly, and while Snape did not object to this at first because he had been so close to orgasm moments before, he was soon writhing, trying to bring his cock into contact with Lupin's belly which remained just out of reach.

"Touch me," he demanded. Lupin's eyes, which had been closed blissfully, cracked open and peered down at him for a moment before Lupin's fingers moved, finding Snape's nipples between the ropes and squeezing them. "Not there! You know what I want!"

"Then you had better say 'Please,'" insisted Lupin with a grin as he bent over, catching one of the nipples between his teeth and stretching it.

Thrashing on the table, Snape let out a loud wail, but the ropes and the spell left him unable to escape. "Lupin! Remus! For fuck's...ah! Please!"

"That wasn't so difficult, was it?" asked Lupin against Snape's skin and moved a hand down between them to grab his cock. The strokes were light, in rhythm with the thrusts, but in contrast to the rough pleasure from Snape's arse, this was soft and gentle, seducing his senses and sending warm tingles radiating from his groin.

No, it hadn't been difficult, and when this was the reward, Snape would gladly beg again, he thought. "Oh -- more," he groaned, trying to angle his hips, but it was impossible with the Levicorpus spell hanging him suspended, frustrating Snape. The pressure from the hand gradually increased as Lupin's movements became irregular; he stopped occasionally, trying to slow himself down, and the hand would squeeze the base of Snape's cock to keep their desires escalating at the same pace.

Finally, even Lupin could no longer stand the delays, though by that point Snape was long past coherency, communicating his needs with moans and cries. The hand closed firmly around his cock, tugging, and Lupin panted, "Whenever you're ready."

Snape nodded. "Yes...oh!" He was so close, intense pleasure filling him every time the cock-head brushed over his prostate. As the tension coiled in his groin, making his balls tighten and hug close against his body, Snape pulled once more at the ropes, his whole body trembling.

Lupin growled loudly, hips slapping hard against Snape's buttocks, and Snape cried out, his cock throbbing and pulsing come in Lupin's hand. And just then, as he writhed in pleasure, feeling the cords digging into his sensitive skin and amplifying the experience, he had an idea. He was unable to verbalize it, for his voice was occupied with groaning, but it brought an added measure of satisfaction to an already thoroughly gratifying climax.

Lupin's cock was still thrusting in forcefully but erratically, and he lifted the hand covered in Snape's come to his face, smearing it messily across his lips and chin as his tongue shot out to taste it. Snape groaned again and Lupin echoed him, collapsing halfway onto him and staying in deep as he shuddered through orgasm, leaving Snape feeling slick and quite thoroughly stretched. Seeing Lupin's eyelids fluttering, he demanded, "Let me down before you pass out and my legs pull out of their joints."

Lupin grunted in reply, but he pushed his weight off Snape to stand and take hold of his knees. The spell that kept them elevated was suddenly negated and Lupin lowered Snape's legs gently before smiling at him. It was uncomfortable when the blood began to circulate again, a prickling sensation, but Snape ignored it as the ropes were banished and he could wrap his arms around his lover and pull him down for a kiss.

"That was a very creative use of 'Levicorpus,'" he conceded.

"I've thought of more appealing uses for nearly every spell I know that can be used to restrain, contort, bind or electrify a human body," Lupin admitted. "If I'd been a slightly better Transfiguration student, I'd have found a way to use your own robes to tie you down."

"I'd no idea that you had such a wicked mind. You could have been a Slytherin," said Snape approvingly. Lupin shook his head at him. "I had a thought, just before, that I think you will appreciate. Wolfsbane potion incorporates many ingredients with sedative effects. What if it was used instead to stimulate the pleasure centers?"

Lupin watched Snape for a moment, thinking. "It would definitely curb the violent tendencies and the need to hunt and kill..." He laughed suddenly. "Imagine all of the werewolves curled up in the lair, moaning and panting, no interest in leaving. Greyback would be so annoyed when the effects wore off."

"Then that is what I shall focus on." Snape let his eyes close. At the moment he did not want to focus on anything other than resting, though the table was becoming rather uncomfortable beneath him. "Do you suppose it might be possible to move someplace that will put less strain on my back? Perhaps, a bed?"

"Severus Snape, are you inviting me to bed?" The look Lupin gave him was wicked, and Snape felt his cheeks grow warm. Standing, Lupin pulled him up, then caught him when his long-restrained legs refused to hold his weight. "Oh dear, and now I've made you swoon."

"I can still perform a nonverbal hex," Snape warned halfheartedly, and let Lupin take him to bed.

~*~

"Where have you been?" asked Draco petulantly. "Don't you know that every time you leave me here alone, Greyback finds some excuse to come sniffing around? He tried to interrogate me about what we do in bed! I can't believe you told him I followed you around at Hogwarts! And that I was a virgin when you..." The face Draco made told Lupin what Greyback had said. "I had to sit there and go along with it, and he kept trying to _sniff_ me!"

Greyback would smell it if Draco felt revulsion rather than arousal; he might assume for now that it was fear at being left alone with the alpha wolf, but if he had reason to believe there was no real attachment between the boy and Lupin, the results would be disastrous. "The easiest thing to do, I've found, is to think about someone you'd actually like to be with," he said apologetically.

Draco looked at him for a moment, a hint of disbelief on his face. "So, I should fantasize about some girl I'd like to shag while he's drooling over me?" He gave a small shudder. "Is that what you've done?"

"Yes," Lupin sat down next to Draco and put his arm carefully around him, for appearance's sake. "If it makes you feel any better, I fed him that story long before you went to Severus for help."

"You made it up about someone else." Draco nodded, apparently seeing the need for it. "How come you chose to invent a boy?" He turned his head and gave Lupin a searching look. "Why not a girl?"

"Greyback prefers boys," stuttered Lupin, turning his head away quickly to evade that gaze. Even peripherally, he could see the suspicion forming on Draco's face, and he added with a sigh, "And I prefer men. As you have undoubtedly guessed. Though I have never been attracted to anyone your age -- not since I was your age, at least."

"You're a poof AND a werewolf, and Snape trusts you anyway?" Draco asked incredulously.

Lupin smiled mirthlessly, thinking of Draco's father and the history he shared with Snape. Leaning close to Draco, he whispered in his ear, as if sharing a lover's secret: "You know that there are werewolves fighting on both sides of this war. Don't you think that there are poofs as well?"

"Oh!" Draco thought for a moment, and Lupin was afraid that he had said too much, given Snape's inclinations away as well, but then Draco shrugged. "I guess you're right. Never thought about that." Lupin nodded. "But if you're queer, then you really have to promise me to not...well, I mean..." Draco trailed off and took a deep breath. "Don't forget yourself when we're pretending, all right? I don't want to be prodded by your -- "

"I promise." Lupin had to hide a smile at that; Draco looked so embarrassed. "Please don't be insulted, but you really aren't my type at all."

Draco laughed aloud, elbowing Lupin as if they were sharing a private joke. "It would be more insulting if you said I was," he hissed. "Does Greyback think he can just go around mauling people? Wizards? Purebloods? He's the reason everyone hates werewolves!"

"Then you understand perfectly what we're both doing here," Lupin agreed.

"Yes," whispered Draco. "But what about Snape? He doesn't really want me to do what I'm supposed to do to Greyback. Even though those were You-Know-Who's orders. I don't think I understand what's going on."

"You want your family kept safe, yes? Snape and I have promised to help you. That's really all you need to understand." The words came out more sharply than Lupin intended.

Draco looked as if he would object at first, but then looked down. "I understand. It's just so hard..."

Lupin had to admit that he did feel sorry for the boy. He hadn't exactly been given a choice in a long time. From Draco's point of view, life must be rather miserable. His father had been taken from him, then Voldemort had demanded that he kill a man or his parents would get hurt; he had failed in his task, and lived in continued fear of the Dark Lord who now had given him another impossible and very dangerous task. He pulled Draco a little closer. "It'll be all right, Draco. Just play along. Do as you're told a little longer."

At that moment, one of the pack members went by and gave them a long look. Lupin turned his head to bury his face in Draco's hair. "We're being watched," he whispered and inhaled Draco's scent, finding it rather pleasant.

Draco nodded almost imperceptibly and wrapped his arms around Lupin's neck. "Better put on a show then," he murmured and pressed his cheek against Lupin's. "I don't think I can kill Greyback," his lips brushed Lupin's ear, "but if you're planning to do it...I'd be happy to help."

It was the last thing Dumbledore would have wanted, and likely the last thing Snape would want. "No," Lupin whispered, turning Draco's head in his hands so that it would appear that he was nuzzling his earlobe. "I promised Severus that I would keep you safe. You are not to be involved in any attack on Greyback."

"But if I'm supposed to do it..."

"If it comes to that, I promise you that it will appear to the Dark Lord that you were behind it."

Against his cheekbone, Lupin could feel Draco's lips quivering. "My father would be ashamed of me," he whispered.

Lupin hugged him tighter, a flash of anger erupting in him. Lucius bloody Malfoy had no reason to be ashamed of his son! Draco was doing everything he could to survive in this war, to stay sane and not do something that would crush his spirit. But Malfoy probably didn't care one bit about such things; all he wanted was for his son to continue his own contemptuous work, bow and scrape to a madman, carry out his insane orders no matter what. Had the roles been reversed, Lupin was sure that Malfoy wouldn't have tried so hard to save his son. He could imagine Lucius shrugging and saying that it was an unfortunate turn of events, but there was nothing he could do...

A gasp from Draco brought Lupin back to the present and he realized that he was squeezing one of Draco's arms too tightly. He loosened the hold but didn't let go. They were still being watched, no doubt on Greyback's orders. Draco pulled back a little and Lupin gave him an apologetic smile; he hadn't meant to grab him so hard. Draco smiled back, then licked his lips in a most wanton manner.

That the boy was such a good actor came as a surprise to Lupin. He brushed Draco's hair back, wondering how long they would have to keep this up, how far they would have to go, when the werewolf withdrew at last.

"Finally! I thought I was going to have to kiss you," Draco snorted. "And I thought you were going to break my arm off! Do werewolves like it rough or something?"

"It depends on the werewolf," laughed Lupin, rubbing the spot he had probably bruised. "You can imagine what Greyback likes..."

"No thanks." Draco shuddered. Then he looked curiously at Lupin. "How do you know him so well, anyway?"

Hesitating, though Draco could not have known it was such a personal question, Lupin decided he would be best to tell the truth. "Just as he knows your father, he knew mine. My father angered him, and...he bit me."

He did not know why those words were always accompanied by a rush of shame -- he had been a child, he couldn't possibly have defended himself, and his father could not have known that the consequences of having upset Greyback would be this terrible fate for his son. Draco was staring at him with a mixture of shock and disgust, but there was sympathy, too.

"He bit you to punish you for what your parents did? And that's why you're a werewolf? He's made comments to me about how if my father was half the Death Eater he thinks he is, he'd have broken out of Azkaban like my aunt and the others! If he decides that my father is worthless to the Death Eaters..."

"That's not going to happen." The reply had been automatic, but it made Lupin stop to think. Severus had been so certain that they should rescue Malfoy -- that he would be an ally. What if Lupin was wrong to think that Lucius would never sway his allegiances? He might very well have been following the same path as his son, keeping up appearances, protecting his family from the Dark Lord's wrath.

Could it be that he was judging the man unfairly? That Malfoy had other reasons than a disgusting zeal and hunger for power to follow the Dark Lord? Snape was now seen as a traitor and a murderer by Wizarding society and by the Order. But Lupin had since found out that he had done what he had to do -- what Dumbledore himself had demanded of him -- for reasons that had to remain undisclosed for now, but could possibly redeem Snape in the eyes of a lot of people. Not all things were as they seemed to be, and that went for Lupin as well.

If Greyback decided that Voldemort wasn't interested in the fate of the elder Malfoy, and that he had no power to protect or avenge his son, then the pack-leader could very well go for Draco, ignoring Lupin's claim. But if Malfoy had escaped from Azkaban, Greyback wouldn't be so sure of himself, and the danger of the dark wizard collecting a debt could keep him in check. It was a dangerous game, but Lupin knew that already.

He got to his feet and offered Draco his hand to help him up. "Let's go. If we disappear now, it will be thought that we're off to get some more privacy. It's not as if I would let them watch me with my boy." Lupin smiled wryly.

"Just as long as we can get some food. No more raw meat!" Draco got to his feet, poking Lupin in the ribs and making him giggle helplessly. "I don't know how you eat that rubbish. I thought I would be sick from the smell."

"I can try to keep some biscuits hidden away, if no one sniffs them out and steals them." Draco smiled eagerly. In some ways he was still the child Lupin had taught at Hogwarts. Putting an arm around his shoulder, he pulled Draco toward the shelter of the woods.


	10. Connections

As dangerous as Fenrir Greyback could be when angered, snarling and snapping like a wild animal, he was even more horrifying when he tried to be persuasive. "Think how valuable the boy would be as one of us," he said to Lupin with what the younger werewolf supposed was meant to be a tempting smile, but which looked to him like a leer. "He's already one of the Dark Lord's -- can't hurt to have another Death Eater who's a werewolf, they'll think twice about turning on us. And I know Lucius...he'll find a way to be on the winning side, whichever side that is, and then he'll use his pull to do what's right for his son."

Lupin was counting on that last, but he could not afford to let Greyback continue with the previous line of thought. "We don't need another alpha in this pack, do we?" he demanded. "He may be afraid of you now, but you've seen the boy's arrogance. He's a pureblood, the direct descendant of two powerful families and the only legitimate heir to both the Black and Malfoy fortunes. If he were one of us, who do you think he'd believe was meant to lead the werewolves? Make him one, take away his fear, and you take away our power over him."

Greyback growled at this, not at all pleased with that line of thought. "I'd fight him then," he snapped. "No pup is going to challenge me!"

"And if you kill him, what are you left with?" Lupin demanded. "Nothing. Don't forget that he's mine! This way, we're holding Malfoy's son, He's devoted to me, and I'm sure he can put some pressure on his father should it be needed." He was glad that Draco couldn't hear this conversation, if such it could be called.

"Devoted." Greyback made a sniffing noise. "You sure you haven't got that backward, Lupin? I've been watching the two of you, and it looks to me like you're soft on him. Could be the boy's just using you."

"Using me for what?" snapped Lupin. He didn't really care what Greyback thought of his sexual proclivities -- better to be called "soft" than a rapist -- but if Greyback thought Draco was using Lupin, he might begin to wonder what possible use it could be to the youngest Death Eater to infiltrate his pack. "Of course I'm fond of him -- he's risked alienating everyone he knows to associate with me. And he's been generous. He's brought me gifts."

This was true, though Lupin knew full well that the ostentatious gold pin he now wore was for Voldemort's benefit rather than his own -- probably passed to Draco by Snape as a show for the Dark Lord's spies. "I still say we turn him," Greyback insisted. "Let him spread that wealth around here. Think how many children we could feed, Lupin. We could open a school for them. We could fight the Ministry!"

Finally! Something he could beat Greyback back with! He narrowed his eyes and looks suspiciously at his pack leader. "Isn't that what you're doing already by siding with the Dark Lord? You're not thinking about betraying him, are you? Going against his orders? He'd kill the whole pack!"

"Of course not!" But Greyback pulled back a bit, looked away for a second. "We need to look out for our own, Lupin," he insisted. "And you haven't shown yourself as any admirer of the Dark Lord's."

"Yes, we do. But I fail to see that making my boy a werewolf would help us do that." Lupin looked darkly at the other werewolf, ignoring the jibe about his loyalties. He would not let Greyback hurt Draco.

"You wouldn't see that," Greyback said and smiled his obscene smile again. "You're soft for him..." He laughed hoarsely. "I mean, of course, that you're so very hard for him. Don't you think he'll be as good to fuck if he's turned?"

Lupin wondered how come Greyback hadn't yet figured out just how much he loathed him. It must be obvious, even though he was trying to quell the impulses and the telltale signs. But he knew that he was glaring.

"Perhaps you're not fucking him as much as you should, Lupin. Or as much as he needs it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lupin stepped closer to Greyback, and looked straight into his eyes, not caring that it was a challenge. He wouldn't step down now, wouldn't flee with his tail between his legs.

"The boy...is he obsessed with bathing? Because he never smells like sex!" Greyback licked his lips. "Is that why he prefers you? Are you romancing the boy instead of giving him the cock he deserves? It's a waste of time, Lupin! Turn him, and he's yours whether he wants it or not!"

Lupin's immediate response was a mental _Fuck!_ as Greyback revealed what his damned sniffing had turned up. He and Draco would have to be even more careful, and somehow, they had to make the charade more plausible. It was such a stupid mistake, thought Lupin; he should have realized it. Greyback had sniffed him often enough after he'd seen Snape, commenting that he smelled like sex, and that was why he'd had to invent a boy in the first place.

Now what was he going to do? Ask Draco to wank every morning and rub semen all over himself? Would Greyback be able to tell that he didn't smell Lupin on him? Aloud he said, "He does like bathing. He's been raised among pureblood wizards, not werewolves. And despite what you think, not everyone lives for cock. I'm not small, you know. I've made him very uncomfortable more than once."

Now _that_ was true even if Lupin didn't mean it the way Greyback expected, and he flushed slightly. "What did you do, Lupin, tear his virgin arse?" the older werewolf asked with a greedy smile. "Got a little rough with him -- scared him?"

"You've seen what he's like. No marks on his skin, no rough spots on his hands and feet...he's been spoilt and pampered his whole life. He may be attracted to danger, but you've seen that he can be frightened. He's _young_."

"I remember he practically pissed himself trying to kill the old man. It was a good thing Snape was there." It took all of Lupin's willpower not to react to this declaration. "Is that what you like? Prince Malfoy crying like a little girl for you, Lupin?"

Astoundingly, he had managed to impress Greyback, and Lupin was determined to keep this advantage. "I told you, the boy's devoted to me," he insisted. "He likes romance. His favorite thing is my tongue." It would be easy enough to kiss Draco's face and hair -- to mark him with enough saliva for Greyback to smell it. "Don't you think I've thought about what he could do for us once his father's free? Turned, he might break -- he'd rather be dead than disowned. Or he might decide the pack should follow him -- a trained wizard and a pureblood. Either way, what do we stand to gain that's worth that risk?"

Greyback didn't reply at once, obviously calculating the implied risks, then he nodded briefly. "Give the little prince his fairytale adventure then, use manipulation if you think that will work. But if there's any hint of him betraying us, I'll take care of him, personally, and I'll enjoy every second of it." He turned and walked off.

Lupin watched the broad figure as it moved away, wondering how much time he had bought them. He was sure that one day, Greyback would have had enough of his insubordination, and he wasn't particularly looking forward to it.

Snape was right; it would help them if Draco's father was free but unaccounted for. Greyback seemed to have some respect for the elder Malfoy even if he spewed garbage about him. Was he thinking himself safe because Lucius was in prison? He should know that the man would surely hunt down and kill anyone who harmed his precious progeny, but it was always easy to be courageous when the big bad wolf was behind bars. Lupin smiled grimly at the analogy.

 

~*~

"What's the most effective poison to kill a werewolf?"

Fanatic though she might have been, Bellatrix Lestrange was the most dangerous woman Snape had ever met. She wasn't nearly so mad as she pretended to be -- the madness gave her a clever excuse when she couldn't quite fulfill the Dark Lord's orders and left the rest of the Death Eaters in awe and a little afraid of her. There was no guessing what had triggered this question -- had she found out somehow about his liaison with Lupin? Or about Draco's orders concerning Greyback... and if the latter, did she intend to help her nephew or to do the job herself?

Snape schooled his face into an expression of bored contemplation as he replied. "Werewolves have a natural resistance to aconite. Sufficient hellebore would do the job, and it's hard to go wrong with basilisk venom, if you can obtain it. I had a small vial collected from the basilisk that was found dead in the Chamber of Secrets at Hogwarts, but of course I had to abandon it when I left the school."

He looked searchingly at Bellatrix, but if she knew about Tom Riddle, the Chamber, the serpent and the Horcrux, she gave no indication. "It's a shame that you don't have it," was all she said.

"Are you planning to go werewolf-hunting, Bellatrix?" he asked with a disinterested smile.

"Oh, not myself." She smiled gleefully, and Snape thought she must have known of Draco's assignment and been planning to assist. But then she added, "My niece hasn't been as useful as I had hoped. I think it's time to break off her little affair with the werewolf and be rid of him -- it's painful to see a Black thinking she's in love with that _thing_, even if she is a half-blood."

Here, finally, was the information they had been looking for – the explanation for Tonks' peculiar behavior. Now Snape just needed to find out exactly what Bellatrix had done to orchestrate it, if indeed she was the one behind it. "So, you intend to have her kill Lupin," Snape nodded, continuing to feign disinterest at first, then frowning. "You do realize that such a task would be nearly impossible to convince a person under the influence of Amortentia or any other love potion to perform? And I doubt you can trick her into believing you don't have ulterior motives if you hand her a vial and tell her to make sure her lover drinks it." He gave a derisive snort, showing contempt for Bellatrix's plan.

"As if I don't know that. You just can't believe that anyone else could be as clever as you, can you? I brewed the Amortentia without you, didn't I?" Bellatrix's eyes sparked with anger and a touch of frustration as she dropped the smile. "It won't interfere with a good, old-fashioned Imperius curse. I'll cast it on her when the effects are waning, before she gets the monthly dose!"

_Thank you, Bellatrix_, thought Snape as she revealed the entire plan in just a few sentences. "I see," he said instead. "Your niece is an Auror, isn't she? You do realize that since last year they've tested Aurors for signs of the curse. Wouldn't it be simpler to slip her a different potion? If they haven't detected the Amortentia in her system, I imagine she's adept at evading Ministry physicals." It was nearly impossible to test a metamorphmagus for illicit substances; their control of their physiology was too great.

Bellatrix looked sullen, but she nodded. "You know of such a potion?"

"Naturally," Snape said smoothly. "I'd be happy to brew it for you. Wormtail needs something to do, I can have him shred the roots -- they're quite painful on the skin." The two of them exchanged nasty smiles. "And I believe I can help you with your werewolf problem as well. An extract of belladonna brewed with hemlock..."

"I'd forgotten how much you hated Remus Lupin," Bellatrix said with a wink. "I suppose I can let you have the pleasure."

"I'll get started as soon as the Dark Lord has dismissed us." The Dark Lord was in quite a temper -- something involving Mundungus Fletcher and a stolen locket -- but it would require a raid on Azkaban to punish the thief.

When Snape got back to Spinner's End, he put Wormtail to work with the roots he had mentioned to Bellatrix. Should she ask the wretched creature, he would be able to tell her that he was indeed helping Snape with some nasty concoction. That done, he left the house, drew his cloak around him and Apparated to the hideout. Another moment, and he had sent a message for Lupin, telling him that he had important information.

 

~*~

"Remus!" Tonks had scarcely let the door close before she threw herself in his arms. "I've been so worried about you! I've barely seen you this month, and there were terrible rumors at the Ministry -- Remus, I know you can't talk about your work with Greyback but they said that you'd been seen with Draco Malfoy, that you, you and -- and he -- "

"Shh. Come sit down." Smiling, Remus held up a bottle of firewhisky. "I've brought chocolate, too. Who does the Ministry have in Greyback's camp?"

"I -- I can't -- listen. If something isn't done about Greyback soon... the Ministry is planning a raid. The children won't be safe..."

"Shh," Remus said again. He was torn -- he urgently needed to know what she knew, and at the same time, he urgently needed her to be herself again, now that he understood what had happened. Would the Tonks he had known have revealed Ministry plans to him? "Let's have a drink, and then we'll talk."

"All right," she agreed, crossing the room to bring a pair of glasses. He poured the firewhisky as she continued, "There's something else. My -- my aunt has been spotted."

"Here." He pushed the glass into her hand. "You'll feel better."

She took the glass and took a swallow, grimacing slightly as the burn hit. "Thanks, I needed that. The thought of her isn't a nice one." Tonks sighed and took another sip before she sat down. "She was apparently seen far too close to the Ministry for my tastes, but the Aurors who spotted her were unable to catch her."

Lupin nodded and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and holding out the box of chocolates with the other, urging her to have some. "That is a little depressing," he agreed.

"A little!" Her expression was cross as she reached for a chocolate, popping it in her mouth and continuing with her mouth full, "That woman is loose! They think she may try to make contact with me!" Licking her fingers, she squirmed out from under Lupin's embrace. "Sirius' murderer! Doesn't that matter to you more than a little?"

"You know it does," he said calmly. Tonks looked angrier by the minute, as Snape had warned him that she might; he needed to be very careful. "Listen to me, Nymphadora. I believe that Bellatrix has already had contact with you, perhaps through someone else."

"What are you talking about?" Taking another chocolate, she stood up and paced. "I don't know what's going on with you. Whose side are you on? You never contact me, you never even let me know where you're going to be. I hear these stories about you and Draco and -- Remus, just tell me the truth! Do you still want to be with me?"

Standing, Lupin put her glass in her hand and waited for her to take another sip before answering. "Do you still want to be with _me_, Nymphadora?"

Tonks lowered the glass and glared at Lupin. "Of course I want to be with you! How dare you even question that? You know how much I love you!"

"Please, listen to me." Lupin put his hands on her shoulders. "Take a moment and feel. Don't just reply without thinking. Feel...do you want to be with me always? Try to think beyond right now. Try to imagine ten years from now, or twenty. What you'll want then. Do you see us loving one another that way for the rest of our lives?"

"I..." Tonks had closed her eyes, but now they flew open again. "Remus? I--I don't know."

Thank Merlin, the antidote was working. "That's fine. Just be honest with me -- be honest with yourself. I'm not upset. Here, have another drink. I need to tell you something that may be difficult for you to hear."

Tonks bowed her head and took a deep breath before she raised the glass and swallowed the rest of the contents. "Are you breaking up with me, Remus? Is that why you're trying to get me drunk? I don't want you to lie to me. I've thought there might be someone else -- I don't believe this nonsense about you and Draco Malfoy, but if you really wanted to be with me, you'd have been with me."

"It's nothing as simple as that. Do you remember when you first had feelings for me beyond friendship?"

Tonks' brow furrowed. "It was right around the time I left St. Mungo's...when I went back to work at the Ministry, before I was assigned to patrol Hogsmeade." She looked slightly chagrined. "I -- I don't remember exactly. It was...like a good dream..."

"A good dream created by a love potion. Passed on, I think, by your Aunt Bellatrix."

"Bellatrix? But...a love potion? Then, then everything I've felt for you has been a lie!" Tonks' looked wide-eyed at him. "No, it can't be!"

"Why not?" Lupin's grip on her tightened slightly as she made to move away.

"Because -– because it's real!" She looked as if she was close to tears, her lower lip trembling.

"I know it's difficult to accept, but it's true. Think about it; do you remember when you thought I was about to break it off with you, how did you feel?"

"Sad, of course! I -- Oh! It was as if it was the end of my life."

"Look at me." Remus felt a momentary pang of sadness. Tonks had never looked at him with prejudice, not even the casual dismissal of the conflicted loyalties that arose every time Greyback and his pack came up for discussion. She did not care that he was scarred, that he looked older than his years. In some ways, she reminded him so much of Sirius. "I care about you very much. And I know you care about me. But can you really say that it's love? Romantic love -- sexual love?"

Tonks opened and shut her mouth as if she had planned to reply, then looked anguished. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings," Remus encouraged her. "You've been looking at me without seeing any of my faults, or my flaws. I'm sure I've looked good to you, and smelled good, and all my jokes have been funny. Look at me now. Am I the man you thought you wanted? Do you think you can survive without me?"

"I...yes, I suppose I can." Her voice was so low, and she looked so sad, that Lupin had to hug her close.

"It's all right. It'll be fine, Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that," she replied automatically, like she used to, and rested her cheek against his chest. "I hate that name."

"Welcome back, Tonks." Lupin smiled and pulled her over to the sofa again. He wanted to let her rest, and to let her adjust to being herself again, feeling her own emotions, but what he had to ask for couldn't wait. "I need your help with something. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't of the utmost importance." He took a deep breath. "I need to get into Azkaban."

She sat back and looked at him, searching his face. Her expression was still rather embarrassed until she schooled it into something resembling her professional demeanor. "Have they taken a werewolf? Someone you were close to?"

"No. It's nothing like that." Now was not the time to mention that when the Ministry caught werewolves during their raids, they were no longer locking them up; nobody was certain what happened to them, but Lupin suspected with a sinking feeling that Greyback was right in this instance about how their kind was being dispatched. "Please trust me; it's much better if you don't know why. But it's business of critical importance to the Order."

"Remus," she began. "None of us are happy about Mundungus being locked up. But if we took the risk of freeing everyone Scrimgeour's people decided to arrest--"

"This isn't about him, either. I can't take the risk of telling you a name -- your aunt will continue her efforts to influence you, and if she learns about this, the consequences will be disastrous." Pausing, Lupin thought for a moment. If they freed only Malfoy, then Tonks would know immediately what he had done. But if they freed Stan Shunpike and managed to make it look as though Lucius had broken free during the raid, no one would ever have reason to connect Snape or Draco to the breakout.

Tonks nodded slowly, popping another of the chocolates into her mouth. "I trust you, Remus, it's just that... How come I haven't heard about this before?" She licked her fingers absentmindedly, then wiped the moist digits on her robe.

"Because before now, I haven't been able to discuss it with you. I think you can see why. I thought you must have been under some external influence -- now do you understand why I've been so resistant? I never meant to hurt you."

"All right, all right." Tonks was blushing again, and Remus knew that it would be some time before they returned to the easy friendship they had briefly shared while Sirius was alive. "But breaking into Azkaban isn't going to be so easy. You can't just waltz in there." She was silent for a while, thinking. "You'll need a disguise, like Polyjuice, and perhaps some guard uniforms. I'll get you the password and a key."

"Thank you," he said, and hugged her again. "I'm so sorry I must ask this of you. I need to warn you -- I'm certain that Bellatrix is going to try to make contact with you again. I've had indications that the Death Eaters want to kill me, and you would be a logical vehicle. In fact, if she succeeds in seeing you, your aunt will need to believe that you _are_ trying to kill me."

Tonks turned pale. "She's very strong. You saw what she did to Sirius..." Her eyes filled with tears. Lupin knew that she had never properly grieved for her cousin with the Amortentia distracting her so soon after his death. Now it would be a long recovery, but at least her emotions were her own. "If Bellatrix uses Imperius on me, she could succeed in making me do whatever she wants before the Ministry realizes that I've been compromised."

"She won't use Imperius, knowing how closely Aurors are observed. She'll try another potion. And you're already had the counteragent." He tapped the box of chocolates. Questions surfaced in her face, but he shook his head. "I can't tell you how I know. It would be dangerous for you and potentially fatal to others."

"You're a man of mysteries, Remus." Tonks smiled softly. "All right. I won't ask any questions. And I'll try to have what you need as soon as possible. I'll send my Patronus to alert you when I have it."

Lupin nodded, wondering what shape it would take now that she was back to herself again. Would it revert to the animal it had resembled before the Amortentia, or would it retain its new form? "I appreciate it. I wish I could tell you more -- I know how hard it must be for you to trust me now."

"You could have used me to break into Azkaban," she whispered. "I would have done anything you'd asked. I do trust you, Remus."

"Good." He smiled. "Then I need to ask one more favor. You wouldn't happen to have any biscuits that I can take?"

 

~*~

"Please," Snape panted. "We need to discuss our plans..."

"Mmmmmmm." Remus slid his mouth from the base of Snape's cock to the head, which he sucked forcefully before lifting his lips. "You talk. My mouth is busy."

Extending his tongue, he made it true again as Snape whimpered, "I can't talk when you -- ahh fuck!"

"We can do that too," agreed Lupin indistinctly, giving Snape's buttocks a squeeze. From the angle at which Remus had suspended him over the bed, he was practically face-to-face with Lupin's engorged cock. Snape wondered briefly whether it was possible to suffocate from trying to suck someone off upside-down, and if so, whether it might be worthwhile. Lupin had once more surprised him with _Levicorpus_, but this time, he hadn't been tied down, so he had found himself flipped upside down. But this must have been the best way possible to use the spell, he thought -- a way he would never had thought of on his own even.

Snape moved his hands down, or up, to Lupin's hips and drew the dark tip of his cock into his mouth. He licked and sucked carefully, beginning to feel a little dizzy from hanging upside down, but soon gave the hard cock all the enthusiastic attention he could. All Lupin was doing in response was to slowly rock his hips, and to tease Snape even more.

"Lupin!" Snape croaked as he titled his head back to be able to speak. If only he could rock his hips against Lupin's mouth! "Stop! Fuck me!" As Snape had suspected, having all his blood rushing toward his head made his heart pound harder, and he felt as if he couldn't take in enough air. His body shuddered involuntarily, and Lupin tilted his head to look down at him, nose resting against his cock.

"Does this mean you want me to let you down? Why, Severus, you're turning purple. Finite Incatatem!" It was a good thing Lupin had grasped his hips, slowing his fall, or Snape would have collapsed head-first onto the bed. As it was, he tumbled fairly hard and was still out of breath when Lupin crawled over him. The deep kiss took his breath away, quite literally, and the room swam. Lupin's hand was on his cock, no, on both their cocks, rubbing them together.

Snape could not even lift his head from the mattress, nor make a sound from his strained lungs, let alone try to resist the relentless pressure. With another shudder, he came violently, seeing a bright explosion behind his eyelids like a Patronus bursting from a wand. His body was wracked with spasms of pleasure that went on and on. Then everything went dark, and it was warm and comfortable...at least until he felt Lupin shaking him.

"Severus! Open your eyes!" He peered up into Lupin's anxious face. "I thought I made you pass out!"

Snape blinked a few times. He was still warm, still comfortable, especially with Lupin pressed against him, but it wasn't dark anymore. "Of course not," he scoffed, but it sounded a lot weaker than he would have liked and Lupin still looked worried. "I'm fine. Just dizzy."

Lupin let out a sigh of relief and smiled, then kissed him softly. "I'm sorry, I should have let you down sooner, but it was so good to suck you like that. I was distracted."

"I noticed." When he wriggled slightly, Snape could feel dampness all down his side and over his belly. "One of us seems to have made a mess."

"Both of us made a mess," Lupin grinned. "It's been _days_, after all."

No one was more aware than Snape of how much time had passed since Lupin had last touched him. "Is that your excuse for walking into my bedroom without a word and taking advantage of me?"

"Partly." Still smiling, Lupin settled on one elbow and looked down at him. "I saw Tonks. The potion worked. She's no longer in love with me."

Snape gave Lupin a smug smile. "Of course it worked." His expression hid a plethora of emotions -- relief that Bellatrix had not been lying to him, a quick stab of something disturbingly like joy over the fact that Tonks no longer stood between them, hope... Snape almost frowned at that. It was too early for hope.

"I warned her that Bellatrix wasn't finished with her." Lupin returned the smile. "But I think she'll find her niece much harder to approach. I am disturbed about one thing, though. I can't see where Bellatrix got hair or skin, whatever it is that she needed from me to make Tonks fixate on me, without Greyback's help. Do you suppose they've been working together? If they have, she'll be the first to know if he suspects that Draco is not really my lover. Will she protect her nephew or tell the Death Eaters?"

Snape allowed himself a few seconds to consider the different possibilities. No doubt, Greyback had to be the easiest means to secure a sample of Lupin's hair. _No need to worry anymore that it could have been semen_, he thought, self-mockingly.

"I think Greyback's involved. So you and Draco have to take care. Keep the charade up. Right now, it's the best protection he has, both from the werewolves and from Bellatrix." He thought about what Bellatrix had said that night when Narcissa had asked him to save her child: that she would have been proud to have her sons die for the Dark Lord, if she had them. There was no doubt in Snape's mind that she wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice Draco, holding the bloody knife herself if she could. "She won't protect him if she even suspects that Draco's not doing what he's supposed to do."

Narrowing his eyes, Lupin frowned. "We may have to make an actual attempt on his life, Severus. Greyback is suspicious that Draco isn't with me for the reasons he claims, and Bellatrix may well be suspicious of my own motives for being with him. How is the potion coming? How soon will Voldemort expect you to test it?"

"I believe that what I have will incapacitate the werewolves, though I have not produced it in sufficient quantity to do so," Snape told him. "But I don't see how that helps us with Greyback."

"The problem is that it renders them unable to attack anyone," he continued, "but only for as long as the potion affects the system. After that, they will be back to their old selves, and if I know Greyback right, he'll be very dangerous then, understanding that he's been tricked." How would they administer it? The water supply? Snape sighed.

"It's more for use for when Voldemort needs them for battle," Lupin nodded, echoing Snape's sigh. "I understand." He absentmindedly stroked Snape's arm while thinking. "It's a stalemate. What we need is a diversion of sorts, something that will shake the foundations to our benefit."

"Malfoy," Snape replied calmly. "An escaped Lucius will keep Greyback away from Draco, because he knows that Lucius would avenge his son. It would give the Death Eaters something to think about as well. After all, they have done nothing to help him out. Indeed, the Dark Lord has even sent Lucius' son on suicide missions. Twice. I believe a wild card like that could be a useful diversion."

"Then it's fortunate that I have another date with Tonks very soon. I should be getting dressed." As Lupin swung his legs off the bed, Snape felt a moment's seething jealousy -- had Lupin decided that he wanted to be with Tonks now that she was no longer behaving obsessively? He frowned automatically as Lupin turned, buttoning his shirt, and added, "She promised to bring me what I needed to get inside the fortress...what's the matter?" The werewolf's mouth curved with merriment. "Are you jealous, Severus?"

"Of course not," Snape retorted, flushing and reaching for his own robes. This only added to Lupin's delight, making him chuckle. "I find it to be of concern that a member of the Order has been drawn into -- Stop that!"

Lupin was poking him in the side, grinning broadly. It tickled. "You were. You can't lie to me. After all those things you said to me about Malfoy." Snape was prepared to protest again, but found himself silenced by a kiss.

Snape didn't say anything when the kiss ended. It was the only safe route, he decided, one that at least wouldn't lead to more mirth and tickling. Only when he had dressed did he deem it safe to face his smiling lover again. "You are impossible. Easily distracted -- greedy!"

"I know. It's one of my more charming traits."

Snape gave a small snort at that and turned to leave the bedroom to hide the smile that threatened to curl his lips. Perhaps some tea would put them in a mood more suitable for working. Dumbledore had always forced tea on him at odd moments, especially when he was upset or angry. Snape had always wanted to throw the teacup into the wall. Lupin followed him into the kitchen, taking out the cups, looking very much at home.

"If you're to make Malfoy trust you enough to leave Azkaban with you, there are some things you will need to know. He will certainly suspect a trick -- that you are trying to wrest information from him for the Ministry. You should..."

Turning, Lupin caught him by the waist and kissed him again. "Later. I'm not in the mood to talk about Malfoy now."

"Not in the _mood_? In case you had forgotten, our ostensible reason for being here is to work."

"Yes, but the tea isn't ready yet and that table is distracting me." With a wholly wicked grin, Lupin pushed his hips forward. "I think we have time for..."

The door burst open so unexpectedly that Snape did not even have time to draw his wand. Lupin's head spun with his as Draco Malfoy sped into the house and skidded to a halt, staring at them.

Lupin stepped back quickly, reaching for the kettle. "We were going to have tea. Would you like some?" Under his breath, to Snape, he muttered, "I thought that door was charmed not to open."

"I couldn't very well send him to the wolves and not provide a safe house, could I?" Snape hissed back. "Malfoy, what are you doing here?"

"I..." Draco looked from one to the other, his face still displaying surprise. "You were going to have..._tea_?"

"Yes," nodded Lupin. "Lapsang, I believe." He poured the water into the teapot and then gave Draco a small smile. "Is something the matter?"

"No...I just thought, you'd been gone so long, and I wanted to avoid Greyback." Draco slid onto a chair and put his elbows on the table. He looked tired, thought Snape, haunted.

Lupin sat down next to him and patted him lightly on the back. "Well, not to worry, I will slobber all over your face before we return, so that he'll be satisfied that you smell like me." He chuckled at Draco's disgusted expression.

The boy's eyes flickered from Lupin to Snape and back. "Won't he notice...?"

"Won't who notice what?" asked Snape crossly.

Draco's eyes flared defiantly. "Won't _Greyback_ notice if _Lupin_ smells like _you_! I can't believe _I_ didn't notice!" The disgust had not left his expression. "Does my father know about you?"

"That I fuck men? Since before you were born," Snape announced in a level voice. Lupin promptly had, or feigned, a coughing fit, as Draco's jaw seemed to become unhinged. For a moment he looked as if he would ask another question, and then he looked as if he would put his hands over his ears.

"Lupin," Snape turned to him. "Perhaps you have something, like a handkerchief, that you've carried with you that you can give Draco. Not only will it put more of your scent on him, it will also look as if he's attached to you, carrying something of yours."

"As long as it's not used," Draco muttered and closed his eyes, still looking a little shaken.

"I could give you my Gryffindor scarf."

"No! Not that!" Draco's expression was now one of true horror...as was Snape's own, he realized when Lupin looked away quickly to hide his mirth. "Look," Draco continued, and then suddenly snickered. "I can pretend to be a poof, and I can pretend to belong to a werewolf..." He and Lupin were both laughing aloud now. "...but I am not wearing any bloody Gryffindor scarf! Give it to Snape!"

Curling his lip, Snape went to retrieve the teapot and poured for all of them while Lupin and Draco wiped their eyes and calmed themselves. Every time they glanced at one another, however, they would start to smirk again. With an odd pang, Snape realized that they resembled, if not lovers, then at least close friends; they had somehow established the rapport necessary to convince Greyback that they were intimate, whereas if Draco hadn't walked in on himself and Lupin practically in each other's arms, he doubted the boy would ever have guessed.

"Drink your tea," he said crossly. "We need to talk about freeing your father." Instantly Draco's expression became serious, and Lupin sat up straighter in his chair, giving Snape his full attention. "Once he's free, we will need to have a plan."


	11. Fragments

"You let _who_ do _what_ to Draco?" Lucius spat, his eyes narrowed and cold. There were spots of color on his cheeks -- a clear message to Snape that the boy's father was furious.

"Lupin hasn't _done_ anything to your son. The Dark Lord sent Draco to kill Greyback! Even you must see that it's a suicide mission." Snape glared back at Lucius. Merlin! Why did the man have to be so impossible? Couldn't he see that Severus was only trying to protect Draco? Lucius didn't deign to reply. "I'm trying to help him. Trying to keep Draco alive. There's no way he can accomplish this mission on his own."

"Like you helped him with the Dumbledore situation? Oh yes, news reached me even inside those walls, albeit slowly."

"Lucius." Snape sighed and sat down opposite his old friend. "Be honest with me. Do you want your son to kill for the Dark Lord? You know that if he makes him kill one person, then he owns the boy's soul. Do you want Draco to carry the burden of having taken a single life, or countless lives, in the name of the Dark Lord?"

There was a strange look in Lucius' eyes and then he looked away. After a few moments of silence, he turned his gaze back to Snape. "No. I don't want him to be a killer. It was enough to hear him apologize to me for not having been able to kill his Headmaster. I didn't raise him to be sacrificed; I raised him to rule."

"The Dark Lord will never permit anyone to rule but himself. Certainly not a Malfoy." Snape wondered if he would be able to make Lucius see the whole picture, but he'd already said more than he'd ever dared and still Lucius hadn't cursed him. There was a tired and worn look on Lucius' face. Prison might not have broken him, but it had not been kind either. He was lean and thin, with some grey in his hair, and he seemed physically weaker than he once had been, though nothing that couldn't be remedied with good food and some exercise.

But his mind was razor sharp, and when Snape had asked Lucius the previous evening how he had spent his time in prison, Lucius had replied that he'd been thinking. "Our Lord seems to have preferred to keep me locked up while he tried to kill my son. Would Narcissa have been next, I wonder? But she's a woman. Voldemort," Lucius sneered slightly, "is not afraid of Witches, but I'm beginning to think he's afraid of some Wizards."

"Those he cannot fully control."

"Which is why he blackmailed my son." Snape was surprised that Lucius would use such condemning language. It certainly sounded as if Voldemort's tactics had worked in Snape's favor by forcing Lucius to choose between loyalty to the Death Eaters and love for his son. The older Malfoy looked calculatingly at Snape. "Does he control you, Severus? He never really could, I think."

"What do you mean?" Snape didn't let anything but his usual frown show.

"You didn't break me out on his orders. This was _your_ doing." Lucius sat back in the chair to study his reaction. "What is it you want from me?"

If Lucius understood that, then he understood as well that the Dark Lord did not have the well-being of the Malfoys at heart. On the other hand, Lucius might have been content to spend the war in Azkaban, waiting for an outcome before committing to a side without risking himself any further. Would his loyalty to Draco surpass his loyalty to the cause for which he had had himself marked, and to which he had recruited Snape? Or would Lucius begin to wonder whether his friend Severus had never been completely loyal?

While Snape considered, Lucius had continued to study him, and now he spoke again. "You don't intend to turn me over to the Death Eaters, or you'd have done so already. And clearly you aren't working for the Ministry. It was clever of you to kill Albus Dumbledore...because I think you're fighting his battles."

Very slowly, Snape nodded. Lucius' expression was somber yet unsurprised. "I allowed the Death Eaters to believe that I was spying on Dumbledore for Voldemort," he agreed. "In fact, the reverse is true." Blond eyebrows arched on the patrician brow. "Since the Dark Lord came back, save for Dumbledore and Harry Potter, you and I have had the most to lose. If he wins this war, we will be the first two among his followers..."

"...to be destroyed as the greatest risk to his power." Lucius was nodding. "You know who he is, then?" Neither of them would risk speaking the name of Tom Marvolo Riddle aloud, but Snape knew that Lucius must have come by the same information that he had acquired himself from Dumbledore.

"_I_ am the true heir of Slytherin," announced Lucius. "My bloodline may not be as direct, but it is pure...as is my child's. No son of a Muggle will ever put Draco in danger again." The phrase held a warning, for Lucius knew Snape's bloodline as well -- the son of a Muggle -- yet it was also, finally, a clear admission of the man's true allegiances. "So tell me what in Merlin's name you are thinking, having my son affiliated with a werewolf!"

"Don't you like werewolves, Malfoy?" The calm voice from the doorway made Lucius start, though Snape had seen the knob turning silently to admit Lupin. "I thought Fenrir Greyback was a personal friend of yours."

Lucius turned to give Lupin a look of disgust. "I associated with Greyback because I had to, not because I enjoyed his company. He has no manners and can barely keep up a decent conversation." Snape was faintly amused by the way Lucius showed his priorities -- more upset about Greyback's personality than the fact that he was a killer. Then again, Lucius had done his fair share of killings over the years. "But the Dark Lord wanted his cooperation," Lucius continued, "so, I made sure that he got it."

"Using your son as bait?" Lupin asked and had to step back and block a blow as Lucius lunged at him, the chair toppling to the floor.

"How dare you! How dare you even suggest that I-- Let go of me!" Snape had pulled Lucius back, restraining him as he tried to hit Lupin again. Fury had lent a new strength to him. "I'll kill him!"

"Lucius! Calm down!" Snape managed to pull Lucius back a little further, despite his trying to get to Lupin. "Lupin, was that really necessary?"

Lupin did have the decency to look a little shamefaced. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"Oh, and how did you mean it?" Lucius growled, but stopped struggling to get out of Snape's grip.

"Draco's told me that Greyback always scared him...that he didn't like the way Greyback used to look at him. And Greyback has said things that's made me believe that he wouldn't have minded a few unguarded moments with him," Lupin explained.

Lucius' eyes narrowed again, but he was still, and Snape carefully loosened the hold, letting go entirely when Lucius didn't attack Lupin again. "Greyback has been drooling over my son?"

"Yes."

"Where is he now?" Lucius asked silkily, and Snape knew that if Lupin said the wrong thing, Lucius would be at his throat again, werewolf or not.

"I didn't leave him unguarded. He's safe for the moment."

"He'd better be, because if anyone so much as lays a finger on him..." Lucius let the threat hang in the air.

With a calm that Snape had only recently learned to recognize as a performance, Lupin circled the table, taking a seat on the far side and looking up at Lucius, who had remained standing. "Would you feel safer with your son in the tender care of Alecto, or his aunt?" he asked pointedly. "Bellatrix has been poisoning her own niece -- Andromeda's daughter."

"That pink-haired half-blood..." Lucius started to say dismissively. A pointed stare from Snape made him change tactics. "I can't fathom the reasoning for keeping Draco from the Death Eaters by placing him with the werewolves, who are led by one of the Dark Lord's favorite assassins. If the Dark Lord wishes Draco to kill Greyback, shouldn't the two be kept as far from each other as possible? If Greyback learns of the plan, Draco will become his target!"

"_When_ Greyback learns of the plan, _Voldemort_ will become his target," snapped Lupin crossly. "But neither Snape nor I can march over and warn him, can we? It's well known that I am not a Death Eater sympathizer and Snape will not profess any disloyalty to the Dark Lord."

Lucius' jaw dropped nearly as wide as the mouth of the snake on the head of his walking stick. "Then you expect _me_ to do so?" he demanded.

"You don't have to tell Greyback anything about Voldemort's plans. All you need to do is defend your son."

"I doubt that he actually intends for Draco to succeed, Lucius," Snape said. "He sent him there without any help or means to actually go through with it, not even a murder weapon." He shook his head and sighed.

"It's an execution." Lucius sat down heavily. "He's doing it to punish me for failing him."

"Yes," Snape agreed as he righted the chair Lucius had been sitting on previously. "That you have broken out of Azkaban will make both the Dark Lord and Greyback wary. Greyback knows that you have a weak spot for your son, so he'll not dare touch him. Just that your whereabouts are unknown works as his defense."

Snape knew that they had Lucius on their side now, regardless of his political opinions. They certainly didn't include loyalty to Voldemort anymore. He eyed Lupin warily. "Just where do you come into this?" he inquired. "Did Severus ask you to protect my son?"

"As a matter of fact, he did." Lupin was smiling pleasantly but his expression was guarded.

"I'd never thought the two of you were particularly friendly." Lucius smiled as well, yet there was no warmth in his expression. "What made Severus so eager to entrust my son into your care?" He flicked his eyes to Snape once, but the query was for Lupin. "What sort of a deal did you make with him, Lupin...or what demands?"

"Daily sex, a pension and a cure for lycanthropy," replied Lupin before Snape could intervene. "It's fortunate that Severus is so very malleable, wouldn't you say, Lucius?"

It was obvious that Lucius was surprised at the reply, and Snape sighed as his gaze flicked over to him. Why did Lupin have to be so aggressively jealous, he wondered. It was as if he wanted to claim Snape before Lucius could even think about getting close. Perhaps he should have expected it?

Snape remembered all the things he had thought that werewolves did and didn't do before he'd got to know Lupin more. Apparently, publicly stating a claim on their mate was one of the things they did. He was glad that at least it didn't include marking territory. "I'm brewing Wofsbane for him," he said.

Lucius waited, but when Snape didn't say anything more, he broke the silence. "And the...pension?"

Unexpectedly Lupin smiled. "It had occurred to me, Lucius, that if we freed you, protected your son and enabled you both to clear your names with the Ministry after the war, you might be inclined to look more favorably upon werewolves like myself who have suffered, as you very well know, under legislation pushed through by people like Dolores Umbridge, with whom you have so much influence. I think you can see that the situation can work to your advantage as well as mine. But if you feel differently, there are many other options. We could attempt to return you to Azkaban -- I suppose they would put you in solitary confinement this time."

Snape enjoyed the rigid look on Lucius' face. "It would be easier simply to bring him before the Dark Lord," he noted. "Though that would require some difficult explanations. As would delivering him to the Order, though I feel confident that you could manage it."

"That's enough," Lucius cut in sharply. "You still haven't explained what you want me to _do_."

"You're not going to be given orders, Lucius," Snape said. "You need to think differently from now on. We're not going to take the Dark Lord's place in your life. You have seen that he's not the way to a prosperous future to you and your family, so we're offering you the chance to join forces with us." He watched as Lucius looked from him to Lupin and then back again, the man nodded slowly when Snape was done.

"So, you need my help." Lucius said, looking a little calmer.

"And you need ours."

Somehow, that closed the deal. The atmosphere in the room changed, became a little less charged, and Lucius looked more relaxed.

~*~

"Do you know what I think, Lupin," drawled Greyback calmly as pushed his plate back and inspected his fingernails. "I think it's time we made that boy of yours one of us."

Even though Draco was not touching him, Lupin could feel his sudden tension. "You have some kind of pack initiation, Greyback? Isn't it enough that I'm a Death Eater?"

"It's a nice tattoo," Greyback replied in a disinterested voice. "But I'm not all that concerned about your loyalty to the Dark Lord. He hasn't been as helpful lately as I'd hoped. You want to do what's best for Remus, don't you, boy?"

"Fenrir," Lupin warned. "He's mine. Stay out of this..."

"I keep telling you, Lupin, everything that happens in this lair is _my_ business." Suddenly Greyback no longer sounded so relaxed. "This boy is worthless to me as he is. He needs to be one of us."

"We don't agree on that, _Fenrir_," Lupin said and fought back the tension inside him. "I want him as he is. I don't want him sullied by your touch!"

"Sullied? _Sullied_ now, is it? I made you! You're _sullied_ by me as well, then; you'll have something else in common with the boy." Greyback's eyes had a hard, challenging gleam to them, and Remus heard Draco gasp as Greyback rose to his feet and seemed to tower over them.

Lupin got up as well, facing Greyback, meeting his menacing gaze and almost a full life's worth of hate welled up inside him. Greyback would not ruin Draco's life like he had Remus'. "Stop posturing and think," he insisted. "Lucius Malfoy has escaped; no one knows where he is. Without even knowing his loyalties..."

"I don't need to know his loyalties." Greyback's eyes were bright with triumph. "Whether he's gone back to his master or crawled off to join that pathetic collection of Ministry wizards, he will fight to protect his son. If this boy is one of us, we have one of the wealthiest wizards in the world on our side..."

"My father would disown me before he'd accept a werewolf as his heir." Draco spoke with such conviction that Lupin thought he must believe it. "If you turned me, he'd kill you, put me away in a padded cell for the rest of my life and set his friends on a wolf hunt. You'd lose everything."

Greyback roared with laughter. "Pretty words, pretty boy," he barked. "But you're wrong there. Do you know why you're wrong? Because once you're one of us, you'll fight for me. You'll stand with me just like Lupin does. You don't have to _like_ me, Malfoy -- you won't let the Ministry or the Dark Lord's thugs touch us because it'll be too dangerous to _you_."

"I do not stand with you, Fenrir," Lupin spat. He'd wanted to say it for so long...

"No? You'd turn me over to Scrimgeour -- to Umbridge? What do you think they'd do with me once they had me, Lupin? You aren't a fool. Give me this boy, and when I send him back to you, he'll be yours forever."

"Nothing that you don't deserve." Lupin reached out and grabbed Draco's arm, pulling him back, away from Greyback, somewhere behind Lupin. His cover be damned now, he couldn't let this happen. The second he left Draco alone, Greyback would grab the opportunity; he didn't care about Remus or his claim. And so far, Remus hadn't really done much good as part of the pack anyway. Making them see sense was impossible.

Greyback growled and pushed the table out of the way, his yellow eyes fastened on Lupin's. "So you are a traitor, Lupin. I've been suspecting you a long time..." He lowered his head slightly, hunched his shoulders, as if preparing for a jump. "Do you know what I do to traitors?"

Lupin knew. He'd seen Greyback kill before. He just hoped that it wouldn't come to that this time, and that Draco would have time to get somewhere safe. "Go!" he called over his shoulder, hoping that for once Draco would simply obey. To Greyback he said, "Traitor? To whom? You're leading every werewolf here to certain death, Fenrir, whichever side wins the war. If it's the Ministry, we're all going to be judged according to your behavior, and if it's the Death Eaters...do you really believe Voldemort plans to let you run free once he's taken power? There's only room for one alpha in a pack, isn't that what you've always said?"

~~~


End file.
